How do I stop being nice and a pussy?

I haven't had a girlfriend in 3 years and I fell in love with this girl I don't know how and I dated her but she always avoided seeing me and she never would just really talk to me so I broke up with her. yesterday we had a long talk and she said she loved me but she said I could do better cause she can't have kids I told her I just wanted her. at the end of the convo she asked me what I wanted her to do I just told her do what she wants. and see was like do you not want me to talk to you no more then I told her I wanted to be with her why would I not want to talk to her and she never said she wanted to be with me back. and today I told her to come outside and she told me she was gone take a shower first then like a hour later when she came outside her and her sister got in the car and left and she didn't even look at me I textured and told her I would be there for her cause she going through a lot cause she can't have kids but I can't talk to her no more cause I got deep feelings for her and she say she care but act like she doesn't. I really believe it's bc I'm always trying to get her to talk to me tell me how she feel about me and stuff but she wouldn't. my friend told me today that I'm acting like a female bc I'm hurt about a girl that don't care about me. I think I need to change my attitude stop trying to be the perfect guy. I've always been nice to girls try to show them respect but it really doesn't get me anywhere. I need to learn how to be a as whole a guy with a backbone I'm tired off being nice and getting ignored. ima focus on just getting better clothes a car and school. I just hate it I gotta do it alone cause I have no good friends fr and my family don't support me or like me so I feel alone and I wanted her in my life cause she a good girl but damn. I really feel like I will never be happy every time I'm glad I have something it gets taken away from me. I believe I'm be alone all my life so I really need to know this so I can get some fucking balls and fuck these females like I'm suppose to be.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's a difference between being nice and being a pussy. Still be nice, we need more guys like you. And your friend saying you're acting like a female is just dumb, as a girl who's had exes and friends/sisters with exes, I can guarantee you PLENTY of guys do the exact same thing. It's called being human and having human feelings.
    She's probably doing this because she truly does think you'd be better off without her because of what she said. All I can say is don't chase it. All you can do is make sure she fully knows you're around if she needs to talk, then take a step back. Break ups are hard sometimes, this one is no different.
    Don't go to her house randomly anymore or things like that either. You're just going to drag it out and prolong your hurt.
    Anyway, you're 19, and at your age, as a girl I'll tell the truth, a lot of relationships won't work out and you'll come across immature girls or girls who don't know how to treat a good guy. It gets much better by mid twenties. Just like how guys can be dicks when they're young but they mature and learn more about relationships and learn what's important and start being different themselves and looking for the right type of girl. It's the same with girls sometimes. a lot of guys think we're more mature and we've got our shit together, but we're just the same as you. And as you get older, more girls will appreciate you for the right reasons.
    If you become an asshole, it'll be a never ending cycle. No good girls will want that in their life, and smart girls will do their best to avoid you, then they'll confirm what you think in your head that all women are fucked, so you'll get even more in those ways.
    It's unfortunate what happened with this girl. But she's just young and going through her own shit. It won't happen with every girl you meet.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Please don't let one girl turn you into an asshole. There aren't many good guys around anymore, but the good ones WILL find good girls. But fuckboys will be alone forever. So do not I repeat DO NOT turn into a fuckboy

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  • i don't see why someone wouldn't want to be nice. fuck the people who are assholes. not everyone in this world are nice people... never change who you are to fit into what is seemed to be "correct" in society. i can tell you there are soooo many girls who are trying to find a nice guy like you and all they do is come across rude, arrogant guys, please don't turn into someone like that. please don't fall to those peoples levels.

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What Guys Said 8

  • First of all, wall of text.

    Second of all, there's a difference between having no balls and being high-strung. Most guys are the latter, not the former. They mostly over-analyze everything and try to pick it apart. They stress about a lot of things.

    It doesn't take balls to smoke over a tank of gasoline if you don't know that gasoline burns.

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  • I'm not reading all that but just realize being nice will get no where in life but taken advantage of

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  • Dude the girl didn't deserve you. Find someone that accepts you for you. Don't change for anyone.

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  • Ummm Alice cooper made a song about it

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  • Start dating anyone fat ugly what ever, and practice not being a pussy

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  • Suck it up. move on with your life and let things fall where they may. Forcing things never works.

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  • Dude man the fuck up

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  • Take a hard shit. I'm not reading that.

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