What do you think? Am I wrong?

My grand father is sick, I love him because he have always treated me nice, but sometimes I remember what my family says about him, (my family doesn't hate him, though) he tries to kill my grand mother and he cheated on her multiple times, she went through this and forgave him and I just can't undertand how she did it.

All my life, I've been trying to be strong, when it comes to movies and shit I don't have any problems with crying, but in real life, when something bad happens, I always try to hold it and be strong, so no one knows I'm dying on the inside.

So... my grand father is sick, (most of my grand parents are sick lol) he's old and I know he is not going to live many more years, I talked about this with my mom and she said he was paying... and I agree.

I don't wanna cry when he dies, I just want to be able to forget everything and move on, I've never been through a lost, all my family luckily has been with me since I was born, but now.. it's time to say goodbye and I don't wanna break when the time comes. Am I a bad person for this? because I think he deserves this? because I don't wanna cry when my family dies? should I cry? should I stop believing that I'm stronger than I actually am?

Updates:
he tried to*

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When he dies, you should have a clear conscience knowing that you let him know you loved him. And even though he apparently has caused other problems, he has treated you nice and you love him. Don't pull away from him now because of the problems he has with others. There may be other things that you or the rest of your family may not be aware of that are reasons for the problems he had with some people.

    Let his life end with you on good terms with him, because it will bother you otherwise and you can never go back and change it later.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Just be real with your feelings
    Let it go, dont hold it inside, that will make it easier to get over him

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  • I think you have every right to mourn in any way when your grandfather passes away
    some of us can handle death easy while other ones take death pretty hard it all depends
    the only thing you can do is follow your heart on what you feel you should do when the time comes but sorry about your misfortune i know i loss all my family just about
    my moms decease, maternal grandparents, maternal uncle so yes death is hard on
    all of us but feel free to mourn the way you want to.

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  • Its okay to cry sweet heart.

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    • Crying signifies that our heart is not hardened and its tender.
      I even cry when i see something that moves me deeply. Ofcourse not in front of all. But its a good sign that u feel.

    • Thanks a lot, I guess I need to see it that way too :)

What Girls Said 1

  • It doesn't make you a bad person for not wanting to cry. And I don't really know him, but maybe he does deserve it. But if you feel as though you're going to cry just do so. I'm sure you won't be the only one crying, and if you are who cares? We all take death differently. Some people can fight through the tears while others can't hold back. You're still strong, because even our greatest heros cry every once in awhile. I hope all goes well and I'm sorry, I hope you'll be ok :)

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