Guys, What's your opinion on jealousy?

When does it become really annoying to you?

Updates:
I meant if your girl is a jealous person.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I find jealousy very annoying both in myself and in other people/girls. Most people don't understand that jealousy as such actually doesn't exist. Jealousy is a socially learned concept. What we really feel (in terms of biology) is competition. Once you understand this, you can look at the whole thing much more calm and in a playful way. I hate those people (often guys) who totally lose it because of their jealousy without even really understanding what it is that they feel.
    Having said that, I am also convinced that sadly, most people (especially young people) communicate wayyy too little when they enter a new relationship. Ideally, after being in a relationship for half a year or so, a couple should sit down and have some good talks about what both of them want and what they don't want and what they deem important etc.. For example, I find open relationships a very interesting lifestyle. However, an open relationship only works if both people want to do this. If your girlfriend/boyfriend is not open for it, you can't possibly force this on her/him. That's a recipe for drama and disaster. On the other hand, I think that monogamy is a totally legitimate lifestyle as well. HOWEVER, if a couple decides to go with monogamy, both of them have to stick with their promise. You can't just agree on living monogamously and then cheat midway. This cheating can be avoided with a such talk in the beginning of the relationship. By communicating with each other, a couple can for example find out that he wants to live monogamously but she doesn't or vice versa. If that is the case, you have to find either a solution together or each on their own. Either you agree on some kind of compromise (for example "you're allowed to have oral sex with other guys but no full sex" etc.), or, if that is not possible, the person who wants to live monogamously has to consider breaking up and looking for a partner who shares their desire to live monogamously. I am convinced that such honest talks would safe a lot of relationships. Unfortunately, most people just sort of let things happen without knowing or caring what their partner wants or how he/she thinks about this stuff.
    Personally, I had such a talk with my girlfriend and together we decided that we want to live monogamously but that we also want to be tolerant and not jealous. So for example my girlfriend will try not to freak out if I end up kissing another girl. If she was a very jealous person, I wouldn't date her.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I've never been jealous. Even once when I had a girlfriend dump me for a much better looking guy (he was like male underwear model good looking) I was really more curious why she did it than anything else.

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    • This is awful.

    • She got tired of him after a couple months, looks aren't all that I guess, and tried to get back with me. I would have but I had a new girlfriend by then. She was a nice girl in most ways.

    • I wish you two happiness.

  • Jealousy is fine, as long as you can control it, and it doesn't change you.
    Which unfortunately doesn't always happen.

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  • Its what makes you tell people what u Actually want.

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    • When you become jealous, you get annoyed and this actually is shown in your body language and people can notice that easily...

      And that's how people know what you want.

  • If it's petty, unjustified jealousy then it's bullshit.

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