Why do people try to act like they've never made a bad choice before?

I've never been so cruel as to judge someone who's made a few stupid decisions. I feel like its something that happens to the best of us and my job is only to help the person grow a pair and realize their mistake so that they can fix it. I don't like to dwell on the past and make a person feel low because they made bad decisions. People, especially online act like they've never made a bad decision. Don't we all?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there are two aspects to this: First of all, personally, I can say that I've never made a really bad decision that had a decent amount of influence on my life. I've made some minor bad decisions that led to arguments with family members or that made me lose small amounts of money but I really can't think of any truly important situation where I've made a bad decision. The thing with me is that I take a very long time to make a decision. I'm quite a head person. This means that I will think for days, weeks or even months about the pros and cons of a certain decision. I only make my decision when I am certain that this is the best thing to do from the options I have. For example: I love to play the guitar. One of my dreams is to possess a western guitar (at the moment I only have classical guitar with nylon strings). However, I don't have a lot of money because I'm a uni student and a decent western guitar costs around 600-700 bucks in my country. I've been thinking about the past 3 years now whether I should buy a western guitar or not. I just can't decide because I don't want to regret my purchase afterwards. And my thinking is: as long as I can't be sure that I won't regret it, I shouldn't buy it.

    Secondly, what you should understand particularly in respect to this site is that there are people from all over the world on GaG. It's a meeting place of people with all kinds of cultural backgrounds. We don't all have an American mentality and some mentalities are vastly different from the American mentality. For example, in my home country Switzerland and large parts of western continental Europe, failing is stigmatized very, very much. In America on the other hand, this is not the case. For example, if you try to start your own business in America and you end up failing, people will just tell you "don't worry about it. Just get your stuff together, sort it out and try again! Sooner or later you must succeed!" Americans are extremely positive thinking. In Europe on the other hand, people will regard your failure as a proof that you are not a capable person. This can go as far as not giving you a job later on at a job application. Failing or making a bad decision is very much looked down at in my culture. That's why Europeans don't like to readily admit it if they made a bad decision. We're scared of being shamed. In east Asia, where my girlfriend comes from, people also don't like admitting bad decisions or failures because the concept of face is

    • extremely important there. Having to apologize for something means that you are losing your face, which again means that other people lose their respect for you. In east Asian culture, this is by far the worst thing that could ever happen to you. That is why in Korea or Japan, some business owners commit suicide instead of sticking up to their bad decisions. The idea of having to stand in front of other people and admitting that they've done some things very wrong is just unbearable to these people. If you try to understand these different mentalities, you will perhaps also understand why not all people can admit their bad decisions.
      Finally, as a last point: this is the internet. Even honest people tend to lie a bit if they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. I'm sure people would be more honest with you if you spoke to them in real life.

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    • congrats for mod!

    • Thank you :-)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Some people have constructive criticism to share, others just lack something on their own. It's not mandatory to listen to the bullies.

  • only once? fuck i made tons of wring decisions and i won't hide it... those decisions left a huge mark on me... and i still struggle to forget about em... u cannot undo past... ah... :(


What Girls Said 1

  • Just because they act like they don't, doesn't mean it's true. Gosh, when has it been easy to admit you've done wrong? Also, this is online darlin' what people say here is not even half of what really happens IRL. Imagine how big this planet is, what people say and write online is just a dot compared to it.