Money problems with my bf?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. We do not live together. His sister is 26 no job no lisence owes 1200 in tickets. I recently seen a text saying that wth I let you use my car so you can see how much your tickets were see I try to help you but you don't do what's right get your priorities straight then she replied saying one is for 700 the other for 500 . I am upset that he is trying to help her to pay because she doesn't even help herself she is lazy. He doesn't know I seen the text so I want to find a way to ask him without him knowing I seen it. I don't want him to help her cause she is lazy. My boyfriend is 22 how do I find a way to ask him if he is going to pay for it or lend her money

Updates:
He is always paying for her and its annoying because I feel like she's a big part in my a lot of his bills arnt paid

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What Guys Said 2

  • First off, it sounds like a very bad idea to bring up the situation to him like you read his message. That could escalate to something like "why are you looking through my phone" to "don't you trust me." That's a relationship killer right there.
    The only way you can do this naturally is by him saying it himself. If he seems pissed off or troubled, just ask him what is wrong. If he keeps denying it or avoiding it or whatever don't push it. Just tell him you worry about how he is and that's it.

    However, while you are worried about him and all that, it is his family at the end of the day. What you reallly don't want to happen is a "It's me or the sister" situation. Even if it is very annoying, all you can do is support him and offer him advice if he asks for it. If he talks about it, you can ask him why he is paying for her stuff... But again... Don't make this a "me or sister" escalation.

    For now, it is best you keep calm and let him deal with it. If it starts to affect you directly, then you can bring it up, like a "Hey are you doing ok?" kind of thing.

    Tread cautiously.

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  • It's his family, not your place to tell him how to handle this.

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    • But he is also in debt with his own bills. I want him to worry about himself first instead of an older lazy sibiling

    • Good luck trying to change his mind about family, because doesn't happen often and usually further escalates the situation.

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