I am a really shy guy. My shyness is getting in the way of getting a girlfriend. I have been told multiple times that I am good guy and nice guy (I am not a good looking fella) . But whn it comes to talking to girls I get nervous and shoo them away. I try and try without much prevail. I am upfrony with the girls I tell them that I am rlly shy. My social skills are well below avg. I don't know how to improve this. (Practice can't be the answer since I do talk to them). I want to be able to talk to them so I can build a long term relationship. (Not to get into their pants).
Most Helpful Girl
Stop telling them you are shy unless they notice and ask. Before you can really pursue someone you need to up that self esteem and become more confident. Girls dont like men who are not confident. For one, dont say you aren't a good looking guy, even if you dont think you are. Whether you believe you are good looking or not is irrelevant. Everyone has different tastes and someone in this world is bound to find you attractive whether you do or not. But, if you tell people you aren't attractive, you will have a harder time finding someone who thinks you are because unintentionally you are convincing people that you aren't attractive before they get to make up their own mind or even see you. The moment you said you were not a good looking fella, I, as a woman, immediately pictured you with crisscrossed eyed, gangly and someone whom I would not find attractive in my opinion. I am sure everyone else who read your post, assumed the same.
That being said, try not to focus to much on finding someone. Instead work on how you approach people or talk to them, whether in person or online. When you find yourself shooing someone away, try to question why you're doing it. Are you nervous? Do you think you aren't good enough for them? Are you not attracted to them physically or mentally? Try to stay in tune with how you feel about them.
But most of all, work on you. You truly need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Dress nice, even when you aren't going out. If you like hats or new shoes, buy a hat or new shoes. Do stuff that makes you feel good. Focus on what makes you happy. If girls see you happy and confident they will be more inclined to approach you and want to pursue something with you.
Lastly, you say practicing social skills doesn't work but I dont necessarily think thats true unless you suffer from a social disorder. If you do, practice may never help but that doesn't mean you should stop trying. Try to join some social activities. Not just to meet girls but to put yourself in social situations just to help with your social skills. Join a group or a fun activity. Something you are interested in. It is easy to find social activities nowadays. If money is an issue, have no fear. The internet is a marvelous thing filled with many sites geared especially for people who want to meet other people and improve on there social skills for free.. check out meetup. com if you live in the states. Good luck0