I've never been the most popular as in the most liked and respected, God only knows why. So whenever I bump into someone or a situation that is in my favor, I feel weird and awkward. I guess cause I'm not used to it, I just feel this strange feeling like this isn't real. Eventually, I jinx it and it goes back to "my normal" where everyone and everything is not in my favor and I just happen to function better like that. It sounds bad but it gives me more confidence, kind of like this encouragement to be myself, not care about what anyone else thinks cause I know there's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing to dislike of me. So I just feel this extra push to be confident and not care. When I have people who do support me, yeah it does feel good especially close friends. I don't feel alone or like some psycho lol. But when it comes to strangers who happen to be in my favor, I do feel off. When I feel that "hatred" around me, I feel more confident.
Is it bad if I tend to function better knowing I have haters?
What Guys Said 1
that's not so weird actually... and i can kinda xplain y. being hated it motivates u to do things better actually... just in order to prove 'em u r wotrthwhile!!0
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