Girls, am I wrong to be furious?

My wife is visiting after 3 months of being away. We are in a long distance relationship. She was supposed to come alone but ended up bringing her friend's 5 month old with her (complicated reasons why she did so, so dont ask why) She has spent barely any time with me and pays all her attention to her friend's 5 month old.

Am i wrong to be furious?

  • Yes you are wrong to be furious
    55% (28)
  • No you are not wrong to be furious
    45% (23)
And you are? I'm a GirlGuys can not vote on this poll

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She was supposed to come alone but ended up bringing her friend's 5 month old with her (complicated reasons why she did so, so dont ask why)

    Per your request, I'm not going to ask why, but the reason the kid is there is actually crucial.

    The fact that she devoted more time to the infant than you is as it should be, and I'd hope that would be obvious. However, this leads to the real question of whether her volunteering/accepting the role of caregiver despite knowing that this would infringe on your limited time together is justified.

    Going off of this main question and the fact that in-person interaction is sparse, her agreeing to take on the infant due to, say, her friend's babysitter cancelling last minute is NOT okay; you are justified in your anger because she chose to allow her friend's poor circumstances to infringe on your lives, thus making you take on the responsibility without any say-so. If she's caring for the infant due to a death in the family or an unsafe home life, she IS justified; while you have every right to be unhappy, you should understand the circumstances.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I think that you're right to be a little upset and dejected, because obviously you were looking forward to this. However, I think that being furious is wrong. There's obviously a good reason why she brought the child along and a child of 5 months is still very young, the child needs a lot of attention. Perhaps try to spend time with her by involving yourself with activities that you and her can do with the child? (e. g. taking the child to the park, playing with the child together, etc)

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    • I want individual attention. In that case we will both be paying attention only to the child

      Not a good idea

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    • but the child isn't my own. She never told me she was bringing a kid with her

    • Even if the child isn't yours, it's still a defenseless child that requires a lot of time and effort spent with it, and either you provide that attention that it requires, or you leave it alone. Leaving the child alone in this situation likely means leaving your girlfriend alone too.

  • Ehhh, its like that guy who wanted his wife to pay more attention to him than his own baby, but not as bad.
    Babies are precious, they just came into this world, they're beautiful, and I swear by it, the sound of a baby crying is one of the most beautiful sounds.
    But still, i'd be mad too, you haven't seen her for 3 months. Ask her if she wants to go with you to get some coffee, some lunch, go grocery shopping, anything and tell her that you miss her and you want to spend more time with her since she just got back and that you see how she's so breath-taken by this adorable baby, but you're her husband. Maybe its a sign though- that she wants kids? Ever thought about that.

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  • Of course you have a right. Your feeling are valid. But you need to talk and make some compromise otherwise your marriage is jeopardized

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  • No, you are not wrong. It was tacky for her not to inform you that she would be babysitting the entire time. That's tacky and inconsiderate. She should have disclosed that previously so the plans could have been rearranged other than making a decision for you that you would be babysitting a 5 month old with her. Tacky.

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  • Well without knowing why she brought the baby home, I can't properly answer. If she has a legitimate reason as to why she brought the baby home, then sorry, but you can't be upset that she isn't giving you all of her attention because a 5 month old can't exactly just be dropped and left alone.

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  • Yes... you have every right. I would be super duper pissed and would let my S. O. know. Since the kid is there... see if you can talk to her... tell her how you feel and that you really want to spend more time with her. Maybe she doesn't know you are upset or even thought it would be an issue.

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  • Call the police because we've got a kidnapper on our hands.

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  • You shouldn't be FURIOUS but maybe a bit upset. But it's not a big deal, now you have a chance to play house.
    And if you're married why are you still in a ldr

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  • You should talk to her about it.

    I don't blame you for being mad at her for it. If I haven't seen my boyfriend in months and the first time that we can be together he ends up bringing others and just focusing on them. I would feel extremely hurt and not truly cared about. Makes you question if they truly cared about seeing you and spending time with you before they have to leave again.

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  • I'd understand you being a little upset but the things you've said are wrong on so many levels. I hope your wife leaves you and you never have children because you don't deserve them at all. No one would just take on looking after a 5 month old baby lightly and the fact that you can't even respect your partners decisions shows how much of a disgusting human being you hare. Do her a favour and leave your wife. She deserves better than you.

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  • Yes, like wtf is that move? I'd never do that knowing I'd be visiting my husband, wth waz she thinking?

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  • I understand you are mad. I think I may be also in same situation. But I think you should ask her for her reasons first :)

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  • A bit put out, yes. But not furious.

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  • A 5 month old needs attention you jerk. You're being selfish.

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    • The kid isn't her own kid! And she didn't tell me she was bringing her own kid. Also, she is not putting any effort into making me feel good. If she paid attention to both me and the kid, then i would be ok. But she isn't

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    • Dear Lord xD
      Is this manchild for real?
      I mean , He has a reason to feel down for Being neglected, but wanting the kid dead? Wtf Dude.

    • Okay please read this through

      So ya it was wrong of her to come to your house with a baby and not spend any time with it was a rude thing to do and she shouldn't have done it AND she should be able to spend time with you And the baby BUT
      I know for a fact that 5 month olds need A LOT of attention and it can be hard to do other things well looking after one. It may be annoying BUT that's NO reason to throw it off a FREAKING BRIDGE
      You are a GROWN MAN if your girlfriend ignores you for SOMEONE ELSE'S kid you should dump her NOT call the baby bad names and say you're gonna throw it off a bridge!!!
      Ya MissMc3 ws out of line BUT that's no excuse for THROWING A BABY OFF A BRIDGE!!!
      You have a point there are lots of girls who complain about there boyfriend and don't get any bad comments
      BUT THAT'S STILL NO REASON TO SAY YOU'RE GOING TO THROW A BABY OFF A BRIDGE!!!
      I can not stress that enough THROWING BABYS OFF BRIDGES IS JUST WRONG!!!

      I tried to stay calm but really people!

  • I'd say it depends on the circumstances of how she came to have the child. If it was pretty much unavoidable or the best option out of bad ones - yes, you need to cool off. Kids take attention, so she couldn't help having to give it to him/her.

    If there were viable alternatives and she took the child on a whim, I can see being ticked off.

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  • No you are not wrong to be furious😈

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  • I meant to vote no. But yeah she shouldn't brought the kid with her. Her friend should've found someone else to take care of them. A good option would've been a family member.

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  • Get over it. Babies need to be cared for. You're a grown man.

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  • Omg omg can we get this user blocked? What is wrong with you and your insecurities and these constant questions? What's your username? At least let me block you!

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