Do you believe that being unattractive will help to filter out shallow people?

I have seen it on GAG that a few people think that being unattractive can have the positive effect of filtering out shallow people when it comes to romance. Do you believe this is true?

I don't often answer my own questions, except in updates, but I'll answer this one. For the record I don't believe it acts as a "shallow filter."

However, I could be wrong and I'm willing to listen.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If by unnatractive you mean straight up ugly then no. Before I continue I must adress the word "shallow" . To me shallow is someone who will decide to date some PURELY for superficial reasons (money, looks) regardless of their personality traits. Someone who cares about looks or even has kinda high standards isn't shallow as long as they also care about personality and compatibility.

    Now being unnatractive would definitely filter out the people who only care about looks but it would also filter out all the normal pepple whose standards are more reasonable but still require that they are somewhat attracted to their partner.
    Also it wouldn't filter out anyone who is interested in them for money (assuming they are successful).

    I suppose if a person is mediocre in both categories and manages to get a partner they can assume it's not because of shallow. However I'm assuming if they did get a partner it would be someone equally unnatractive and unsuccessful so perhaps they would just be settling for eachother because they are afraid to be alone. Maybe a misery loves company sort of thing which I don't see as good.

    That being said I do think being average-slightly above average would be a good filter. This is because at that range you can still be seen as physically attractive to a decent amount of people but at the same tone you aren't soo attractive that someone would date you JUST because of your looks. So in this case I'd say it's a good filter.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think so. I mean in romantic relationships it's not shallow to want someone you are attracted to. It's normal, healthy and rational. You cannot have a happy relationship with someone you find physically unattractive. However with friendships I do believe it is less important. I don't pick my friends based on how attractive they are. It doesn't matter. It's of no relevance.

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  • Yes, I believe it does. So does having small boobs, being a virgin at 19, and having a flat butt.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think it might help initially, yeah. But there are other shallow reasons that people might pursue someone that go beyond that person's looks. Money, social status, etc.

    At the end of the day, I feel like I can tell if someone was gonna be with me for shallow reasons, so they'd be easy for me to filter out regardless of how I look.

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  • I don't think so
    Being unattractive lowers the amount of people who will find you attractive
    Which limits you opportunities for a relationship
    Although you might find people who aren't shallow
    That won't make those people kind or respectful
    Plenty of ugly people are serious assholes

    I think being physically attractive is a big part of romance because it gives you more opportunities for dating

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    • It's been my experience that being an asshole is evenly distributed throughout the appearance spectrum.

    • Haha and I think your experiences hold truth

  • I think it acts as a "shallow filter" indeed.

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  • For most people looks are the only thing to go by when starting a relationship.

    Being unattractive could also filter out those that seek more than attraction in a relationship.

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  • I'm inclined to say it does as long as you're not wealthy. Because being wealthy can attract a partner who enjoys your wallet more than you.

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