My female freind (My Bfs Ex) called my boyfriend a 'Nigger' and he punched her hard. I dont know what to do because there both are just as BAD?


My boyfriend is Part-Black and the rest of our freinds including Me are white. We were all watching a mainly black reality show. Anyway, they kept saying the N-word. Our female freind (My Bfs Ex) randomly started saying it too. My boyfriend kept warning her to stop saying it. I think she wanted to get under his skin so she called him a stupid n**. He dared her to repeat and she did so he punched her super hard on the face and shoved her against a wall. She started crying. After it was stopped and it calmed down they started arguing she said he can't hit girls he said he doesn't take racism from a white girl. My boyfriend doesn't listen to me and smooth things out he says how would I know about racism? He said to me how would I feel if a guy called me a whore while we were texting. I feel like my boyfriend is upset at me for not supporting him- but Im struggling because his Ex is a good freind of mine now. Im dreading the next time we all hang out it's going to he awkward for me sadly. I think there just as bad as eachother but I want them to be freinds again. Something ticked in me today that made me think she still likes him by the way she acts maybe im overthinking it- did she want attention from him? How do I fix this considering the guys in our group dont have those intentions instead they think 'hes a legend for putting her in her place'?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's right she's wrong. she was teyin to offend him he said stop. It like when u poke a bear and then they attack
    Well bitch you should have poked the bear.

    I'm white and I don't say becuaee black people are. insecure and stuff
    And hurt there feeling when white people say it because I guess they feel we are better then them in some way. Or something.

    I wouldn't have punched her. I would have got a bucket or pot of water and dumped on her. Or something.

    But I think that's how black peoe feel like. A friend at work told me that they don't care when other race say it. Its just white people

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    • I wouldn't say he's right by any measure. Indeed, she shouldn't have said it once let alone to his face in an offensive manner but there's no reason to hit a women. If I were the OP I'd have a serious talk with him because it's a crime as many other people have said.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your boyfriend isn't right for hitting her.
    But really, she was asking for it.
    If you have nothing productive to say... then hush your mouth.
    A lot of people died over that word "nigger", if she knew it offended him why would she call him it and continue to say it?
    You should be angry at her.
    She can't walk around disrespecting people and expect every one to take things lightly.
    Maybe she will think before she speaks.
    Also,

    Your boyfriend needs to learn to channel his anger.
    What she said was very upsetting.
    But he needs to learn to defend himself (without using his fists) and walk away from uncomfortable situations.

    If I punched every one that said the word "nigger" my fists would be beyond swollen and my blood pressure would be sky rocket high.
    The fact of the matter, he will hear things in life that will upset him.
    He can't always react that way.
    Walking away doesn't make you weak.
    Your friend is only exposing how much of an ass she could be by operating that way.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You're now in a war of triangle. If i'm you, i would try to withdraw from frontline.

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  • That's called assault and battery. Your boyfriend is a shithead criminal.

    See, someone saying unkind words is not actually valid reason to attack them. Hell, if it was, I'd have killed 5 black guys in the past week.

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  • Sounds like you may want to re-evaluate your judgement of friends. They both sound fucked up. My advice would be to distance yourself from both of them and find smarter positive influence people to surround yourself with.

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  • There is never any excuse for hitting a woman. An intelligent person would have cut her down with words not violence. Watch out that he doesn't get to hitting you next time you displease him

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  • He shouldn't have hit he, he's an aggressive man leave him.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He obviously cares about what she says, and she's obviously trying to get his attention. I know it's not what you want to hear, but sounds like they still have unresolved issues. Honestly dating one of your friends Ex's is a bad move to make, it damages your relationship and trust with her, and then you have two people that used to be in a relationship hanging out all the time with you as their peacemaker so she probably thinks she can eventually win him back. Love triangles suck, but thats how they work. I've been in one or two myself.
    Also if he hit her, and thinks its ok to physically put a woman 'in her place', what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you? What she said was wrong, but he could've just walked away or said something. He didn't have to physically harm her.
    If you honestly trust them both take them both aside and talk to them, individually and then together.
    Know thats the last thing you wanted to hear. But thats just my take.

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  • she didn't bleed or anything?

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  • If I was her I would have punched the cops on that monkey, ok yes she should have said that to him but he is a guy and as long she didn't "disrespect" him physicaly he had no right on putting his hands on her. Dump his ass his a girl abuser.

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  • She was asking for it.. I side with him but you really shouldn't resolve with violence

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  • you should just stay away form each other.

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