Does This Count as Abusive?

Pretty much my whole life I've been telling myself I was in an abusive situation. That I shouldn't be there, I don't want to be there.
A friend spent most of my time as I was telling her how I hated living there, that I was lucky to have her (my stepmother that is). I guess in a way, if you look at it in a materialistic way, yeah, I was lucky to have her. But emotionally, mentally? I must have broken a hundred mirrors to deserve having her in my life. Especially having her be the only constant in my life.

She only hit me a couple of times. Like, beat me hit me. Every now and then she'd walk past and slap you over the head for no reason, and you knew not to ask why. But I don't count that, it never really hurt all that much. But the times she really hit me I barely remember. I just know they happened. I counted it up a couple of years ago, it got up to five times in the eleven years I'd been with her. Only one of those I can really chalk up to me actually deserving, and another I remember enough to know it was only because she'd seen me out of the corner of her eye as she had a go at my older brother. She never hit me anywhere bad, just my arms and stomach and over my head if I didn't protect it well enough.

But that was only five times.

I mean, I support smacking as a disciplinary technique. I get the idea behind that, if you do the wrong thing you get a burning bum for the next couple minutes. It works. Getting put in the laundry worked a treat too.

I know the beatings were a bit much for just discipline though. Apart from that one time, I know whatever I did wasn't enough to warrant a beating. But it was only those five times in eleven years.

And it's not just physical. I can't explain it, because it's not one of those definite 'she did this and this and it made me feel like this' but it was very easy to be frightened of her. She was the dictator. You did as you were told. Except for when she told you to do two things then yells at you for doing the first thing.

Does that really count as abuse?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I mean, I support smacking as a disciplinary technique. I get the idea behind that, if you do the wrong thing you get a burning bum for the next couple minutes. It works. Getting put in the laundry worked a treat too."

    ^no, no... it might work indeed... but keep in mind this will cause some fear comin from da kid towards to his/her parent ;)

    "And it's not just physical. I can't explain it, because it's not one of those definite 'she did this and this and it made me feel like this' but it was very easy to be frightened of her. She was the dictator. You did as you were told. Except for when she told you to do two things then yells at you for doing the first thing."

    ^dictator indeed's da correct word. and i believe verbal abuse might hurt even more than physical sometimes... and yeah it's abusive if she yelled indeed if u did only 1 among da 2 things. a sane person wouldn't go mad for such a reason in my opinion

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    • I don't think it does. I was never afraid of my mum or dad and they smacked me. It was only if I did the wrong thing that I'd start avoiding them. Because I knew I'd done the wrong thing and I knew I was going to get in trouble. But I wasn't afraid of them.

      One of the arguments that led to me finally getting the courage up to claim I was moving out, she actually said that I never say hi to her when I come home from school, and I never do the dishes without being told, and I complain about everything and am an ungrateful brat. I said hi to her every single time I walked in that door, it was the question of did she ever give a shit and say hi back? No. I did the dishes every day. I wasn't even getting that dollar I used to get for it anymore either. And I'm not going to do the dishes if you're standing over me telling me I'm doing it wrong. I know how to dry a fucking plate. I've only been doing it for years. And the only thing I would complain about is that fucking cup draw. Hate it.

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    • ok thanks for lettin me know

    • thanks :)

What Guys Said 1

  • More emotional and physcological then physical from the sound of it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes it does.

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