Why am I so jealous of my older sister? Am I wrong?

So Im 19 and my older sister is 23 and I noticed that she gets way more attention than me she's way prettier than me and she's so talented unlike me I guess, she plays guitar, the piano, sings, dances, plays sports, and good at Karate as well, and her body's well hot as to what my guy friends say, and since im younger I never cared about those kind of things and now they irritate me, am i wrong to be jealous? And Omg worse part is that she has big boobs i have small boobs, I have so many insecurities. Its like we're almost opposites.

And about 4 four days ago, this guy i really liked asked her out, and i think they're dating. Lifes so unfair she gets everything...


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with your feeling. Your feelings alone aren't hurting anyone. It's how you choose to act either because of or in spite of those feelings which matters.

    Women as a generality, tend to have body image issues in our society. They're taught to put a great deal of emphasis into their appearance, clothing and makeup, and often their worth to others would seem based upon their looks. That you have insecurities is thus not surprising. It's possible your sister might have her own insecurities too.

    I think it might be worth perhaps considering why you feel jealous of your sister, and if those feelings are truly merited. You suggest she is talented in a number of areas, but, even assuming she had started with some degree of innate ability, for many if not most things, it would seem that it is much less one's innate ability than the effort which one invests in improving which determines one's overall skill. How much effort did she put into improving her skills? Have you spent as much effort in improving any of your own skills? If not, why not?

    Also while you say she is way prettier, are you certain you are making a fair comparison? I certainly can't speak to your specific case, but from my own experience, I know that some women will seemingly compare themselves unfavorably against others who might put much more effort into their clothing/makeup/appearance. Such comparisons aren't really fair ones though. The only specific detail you offer, that she has larger breasts, might indeed bring her greater attention, but it could be asked if it is necessarily the right kind of attention. Just because you have a smaller bust, doesn't necessarily mean you're less attractive because of it.

    Not to mention that at the end of the day, there are many things which are likely far more important than anything you've mentioned. You should try to see and appreciate your own good qualities.
    And even if after examining yourself you still feel jealous and truly believe you don't measure up... well, there's nothing stopping you from being more tomorrow than you are today.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop thinking like that!


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is wrong, Life gives the best things for those who sweat and never give up.
    She is your sister don't be like that, Instead ask her to teach you what she does OR follow what you really like by discovering your inner self what you really like to do in life
    Then you'll have many chances and a happy life :)

  • focus on your own strengths. Its normal to think this way I guess, but then it's not about comparisons. No two people can have the exact same life.


What Girls Said 1

  • You can learn to play instruments.
    I am not good at any instruments but I am planning to take some lessons or at least try to learn it on my own.

    You are too caught up with comparing yourself with your sister. That doesn't sound too good.