How to tell him I do not look the same as I did on Tinder? Advice?

I made a tinder account of myself but I was wearing wigs and a lot of makeup so that I would look more attractive and so that guys would match me. I have gotten a lot of matches and there have been a lot of conversations the only thing is that i do not wear wigs and makeup everyday so when I look regular I look way different than I do on tinder. It is almost like I am another person. I met this really cute nice guy on tinder and he really seems to like me when we first matched I thought that he was just another guy trying to be a jerk but it turned out that he was really sweet and funny and that we had a whole lot of things in common with each other. We started talking to each other more and he started to develope feelings for me because he says that I am not like every other girl on tinder and that he really likes my personality and how I am not fake and how I am easy to talk to. He complements me every single day telling me how pretty I am and how much he can't wait to meet me in person because he fell in love with this wonderful pretty girl. He calls me everyday and we have these wonderful conversations with each other laughing and having a great time. I actually started to like him which I was not planning on doing but he is such a nice person and it seems like he understands me. He really wants to meet me. I am not afraid to meet with him or anything because I am a real person and I have nothing to really hide I just do not look the way that I looked in the pictures. I am not super tan and I do not have strait long hair anymore I do not wear a whole bunch of makeup like I did in the pics and I do not have the same body shape that I used to have. I don't want him to judge me if he see's me and change his mind about the feelings that he has about me I want him to like me for who I am and not care about my appearance. I don't know what to do because I am afraid he will not like me and that I will scare him away. Advice?

Updates:
I am not a catfish I just don't think he will think I am attractive without makeup and my long hair since I cut my hair

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he changes his mind about you, they is his right. It does not make him the villain, or the shallow one, so stop trying to tell yourself that. If you have falsely advertised yourself, he will conclude that not only do you look different, but also that you are deceptive. Do you undestand that?

    Its not just about being shallow and caring only for looks, its about judging the person's honesty, openness, and how safe they are to trust. He has every right to react however he wants when he finds out you have been manipulating and deceiving him.

    He may still like you, but that is entirely up to him. If I were him, I'd be concerned about how much else might have been falsely advertised to get his attention. You need to come out and show him everything before he meets you.

    Its not so much about the wigs and makeup, but if you used pictures of a sugnificantly younger version of yourself that looks, that is very much false advertising. Human beings change to become a new person with every passing day, and the person you were months or years ago may be completely different than the preon you are today, so why advertise that person?

    You are the person you are today. Nobody can date the "you" from college, or highschool, or any other past version of you anymore, so advertise your true self as you are here and now because that is the person people are going to meet in real life. Talking to people online isn't a game.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want to meet him, you're gonna have to take that risk - but don't be surprised if he's not interested.

    Sorry, but you can't "advertise" yourself one way and then expect the guy to be totally OK with it when you show up looking totally different... if he sees you and doesn't find you attractive, that doesn't make him a bad guy. It makes him a guy who thought he was meeting one person and ended up with another. Perhaps he would like you for who you are, but if you really look THAT different from your pictures, he's gonna probably be annoyed about the deception.

    My brother has been online dating since breaking up with his long term girlfriend last year and it's an endless source of frustration for him, always going out on dates to find that the girl is 40 lbs heavier than she looked in her pictures, or looks nothing like she made herself look using angles, lighting and make up... and then he gets "called out" for being a shallow jerk because he's not interested. He's not shallow at all - but like anyone, wants to be attracted to the woman he is dating, and so he feels deceived and let down when he thinks he's meeting someone who looks one way and then it turns out she looks totally different

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What Guys Said 7

  • "that I am not like every other girl on tinder" don't flatter yourself. As has been already implied, you dug this pit yourself. And demanding him to like you for "who you are" is a pretty hard thing to do considering that you pretty much lied about something as important as appearance. That already implies that you're actually not the best person around.

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  • 'fess up by saying all that you said to us. Except keep it short and to the point, and be apologetic. Make it something unintended. Something you can say in 2 sentences over text.

    Afterwards, explain using 1-2 sentences that you were telling him this because you wanted to be frank and honest.

    A tip though: next time think through your decisions and its consequences before you act... :/

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  • Hahahahaahahahahaha

    Tell him without expecting him to follow through with wanting to meet you. You are not entitled to his attention, especially when you went and changed your entire appearance just to snag him.

    I've said that make up isn't deceitful in a previous post, and I typically stand by it, but what you did was false advertisement.

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  • You get what you deserve.

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  • Well now... start pilling up on tons of make up again, thick layers, really pile it on. And maybe he won't notice... You think

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  • Put up a more recent---and honest--photo of yourself.

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  • Being a loser that you are and explain and don't have him do a wild goose Chase. And do not bring a friend. Just don't be your jerk. I hope you look better than your photos then before but I don't think that's happened. good luck

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'll never understand why people put themselves in these situations.
    False advertising will get you in tricky places.

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  • Just be yourself & if he dosen't like/accept who you are then he's not the sweet nice guy you thought he was & not a good person for you. If it dosen't work out when you meet him just know that he's a judgmental jerk if he can't accept you for who you are& you'll find that person some day without having to wear wigs and make up. Really hope it works out for you though. Good luck!(:

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  • You shouldn't knowingly lie to people. Now you have to deal with it. Good luck

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  • If he really likes you then it won't be an issue. I'm sure he only put his best pics on there as well. After all, you want him to like you as real as you can be and not a fantasy he conjured up in his head. Good luck!

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