I should end it with him right?

ok so just recently my fiance and I decided to move in together. he's 43 years old. Anywho. I knew all about his criminal record and all and it took me while to decide not to use it against him and give it a chance. I've known him for 7 years and he's been head over heels in love with me for that long. Anyways, I decided to let him move in with me into my apartment. Keep in mind I have a 1 year old daughter. Anywho we walk up to the office and I get him an application to fill out so he can be added to the lease. Then he makes a disturbing confession. When he was 17 years old he got a charge for molesting a 12 year old girl. This was 25 years ago and he said yes it is on his adult record and he was convicted. So I told him that to go ahead and fill out the paperwork and turn it in and my landlord will decide if he can stay or not. I already know she's not going to let him stay. HE just has to hear it come out of her mouth. he's not on the sex offender registry because he said they started the sex offender registry in 1996 and this was back in 1989. Should I end things with him? there's a lot of reasons why I dont think we will work out. Number 1, he's too old for me I think
number 2. I just dont feel attracted to him. I mean when we have sex I think about my ex! and number 3. I dont know if I can trust him especially with that charge he got. Should I end things with him? I need opinions. Thanks in advance.
IF he WAS convicted as an adult and whether or not he's on the sex offender registry he has to leave. MY mom said he couldve been convicted as a minorr. We will see.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "Number 1, he's too old for me I think
    number 2. I just dont feel attracted to him. I mean when we have sex I think about my ex! and number 3. I dont know if I can trust him especially with that charge he got."

    The three reasons you gave should be enough to tell you to get out.


Most Helpful Girl

  • you should end it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think the reasons you gave are probably enough for you to have answered your own question. End it before it ends in tears


What Girls Said 4

  • Well the fact that you are younger, not attracted to him and think of your ex tells you everything!

    Add on the molesting a 12 year old and it is a done deal!

    A 17 year old would only molest a younger girl if he had issues with women - get out while you can.

  • No matter how you slice the not so sweet cake here, dear, the Age factor Isn't really one of these because to Me... Age is just a Number, not a Reminder.
    However, there are other Distasteful things that you Both have against your relationship, and knowing Everything from his Past that isn't a Blast for you, it is Leaving a sour ball in your mouth, especially when you have this precious little one at hand and you know what you Do... About this man.
    There are Fair Factors that is leaving you with even less desires and the Bare fact that you are Not completely totally over your own Ghost from the past that is in your closet and is rattling you here, dear, with All of this Together, it will always follow you, dig up old bones and will Not be Healthy for Anyone concerned.
    God may be guiding you with the Lease Release deal and telling you that there is more than meets the eye and that you are Now.. Your own private eye.
    Do as your heart and head are telling you is Best for the Rest and rest Assured... It may be the Best decision for All concerned to give him his walking papers, which I think deep down, you really want to do and that is Write him off in a heartbeat because you will Never Completely trust him, Seeing "Dead beat" before you all the time.
    Good luck and my blessings. xx

  • You seem like a pretty smart girl, I really don't think you need us to tell you that you need to end this relationship not just for your own sake but also the potential safety of your daughter. The charge your fiancé got was a long time ago, and people can change, but this is still a huge risk for your child. It would be different if he had this charge and you didn't have a kid. He also didn't tell you about this charge until it came to file the paper work... It kinda makes me wonder what else this guy could be hiding...

    If you feel this guy is too old for you then he's too old for you!! My boyfriend and I have a significant age difference, but we barely ever notice it. People around us rarely notice it until we point it out. So it's fine with us. Age gaps work for some people but not others, and that's perfectly okay.

    Attraction is key!! Without it your relationship is doomed before it even has a chance to reach its potential. Just because this guy has loved you for seven years doesn't mean that you owe him any favors or have to return it.

    You're still young and this guy has so much baggage! Be it legal (and probably financial.. Not that it matters but you're too young to take on a middle aged man's debt!!) he's already had nearly twenty more years of fucking up his life than you have. Don't let him drag you down with him. Get out girl! Get out while you can!!

  • from what you have told me I would end it if I were you. What if he was the molester your daughter, could you take that chance?