You see or know a woman who is crying and unhappy that she does not and cannot have a baby (and cannot or will not adopt). What do you tell her?

Alas, this is a situation I have found myself in.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd want to know why she cannot have a baby. If it is a medical reason that she cannot have a child and she doesn't want to adopt then i'd just be there for her but say nothing. Because i don't think there is something that i can say to make her feel better. I know there are ladies who cannot have their own child but do not want to adopt


Most Helpful Guy

  • Been there. Be gentle, but honest. Tell her that while this is most
    unfortunate, on some level she has to deal with it.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm really sorry that you can't have a baby. I know it's probably something you were looking forward too. Maybe this situation isn't as bad as it seems. I know you must be hurting right now, but you've got to keep your head up. Maybe adopting isn't such a bad idea at all. There are so many kids that need a loving mother in their life. I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but sometimes life isn't fair. Life only throws shit at the people that can handle it, so you CAN get through this. I know you can get through this, but you've got to keep your head up, and open mind, and stay optimistic.

    That's probably what I'd say.

    • Thank you, Anon. However, adopting is not a good idea for me at all, and my wife simply refused to adopt.

    • Show All
    • I'm very confused now. Who is the woman. You're single and your wife is dead, so who is the woman you're talking about?

    • My question is about any hypothetical woman you just happen to know. Suppose you are friends with a woman and she is weeping over not having a baby.

      Along the way, I got to talking about my wife because this happened to us. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. For the purposes of the question, I'm talking about some hypothetical woman who wants a baby.

  • i would just tell her to adopt, if she will not then she really doesn't care that much.

    • I wouldn't go as far as to say she doesn't care that much. If she didn't care that much, why would she be weeping. People can and often do have very skewed ideas about adoption that are the result of their upbringing and/or cultural norms.

What Guys Said 2

  • "and cannot or will not adopt"
    That seems a bit strange.
    If she doesn't want to adopt, why is she sad about it?
    Maybe she has another more important problem than baby fever. A problem that stops her from adopting. If have feelings for her, I'd try to know what's going on and recomfort her knowing why and how, about what.

  • Is surrogacy an option? Are her eggs good?