Is it just me or is it rare to find socially aware and intellectual girls in real life?

I live in Idaho, and I'm very socially conscious and I like to discuss ideas, science, and whats going on with the world. I'm pretty educated and it consumes a lot of my interests. But most girl friends I meet only seem to want to talk about guys and issues in their relationship. I met a girl who thought it was weird that I discuss the upcoming elections and stuff like that. I usually hang with a lot of guys cause usually they are the ones who care about these topics, and I meet lots of girls and guys online who live in bigger cities, on twitter and stuff. but I NEVER seem to meet girls like this in real life. I have 2 close girlfriends and they don't even understand things I discuss or follow whats going on in the world, they just want to talk about their exes and its making me feel super lonely that I don't have a girl friend to talk about things with. Is it just me or is this a common issue?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Common issue. My belief, based on experience, is that girls in Western society are socialized to downplay and conceal intelligence, independence and non-conformity.

    It's interesting when the wall of socialization comes down, and you discover that the amazingly conventionally attractive, mostly quiet and self-effacing blonde bombshell you've been interacting with socially for weeks or months is actually a towering intellect as well. This has happened to me several times. Some of the most intelligent, funny, sharp, intellectually engaged women I've ever met were the most stunning physically, and had been effectively concealing their genuine selves (and not just from me or other men--from other women as well).

    So I think it's possible you're still at the point where these women (at least some of them) don't know the extent to which they can be themselves with you yet. That's one option.

    • I think you pin pointed it right there. A lot of girls are conditioned not to speak up on topics or discuss their beliefs, and girls who are passionate about things and discuss ideas stand out (in a positive way, for the most part). Most guys are interested in getting to know me because of that, but with (some) girls I receive negative feedback or they say "I don't even know what you're talking about *eye rolls*. And it's not that they're judgmental, it's probably due to feminine social constructs. Hopefully I meet some more people with similar interests this semester.

    • Thanks. And good luck. :)


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 5

  • Depends on your education level. At school, I hung around with extremely smart people and we had an intellectual debate every lunch break, while at my previous school on a lower education level (not exactly low but you know what I mean) people didn't really talk about those things. They could sometimes, but we'd rather talk about other things. So look truly smart people up.

    • Yeah it probably has a lot to do with where you meet people. I'm gonna try to meet more educated girls at my university or join a club of some sort. Thanks!

  • I can have those types of conversations with a lot of my girl friends. I generally prefer friendships where I can have intellectual conversations as well. I don't think it's rare to find, I think it just takes a little while longer to get to that level of friendship. You can't really just have those deeper conversations with strangers.

  • 1. You live in Idaho.
    2. You live in Idaho.
    3. You need to find intellectual groups that meet up if you are still going to be in Idaho.
    4. Don't generalize to a whole population.

  • Actually I'm a girl that loves deep meaningful intellectual conversations. A lot of my girl friends are like this as well and so is my boyfriend. it all depends on the girl. Guys are like this as well. My guy friends in the other hand (minus the boyfriend) don't really care about anything other than sports and girls. I think it might be an issue for anyone and it could be just how they're raised.

  • Nah, I'm pretty much the same.