Most Helpful Guy
I would first try to help them out. I know the feeling of self hate, self esteem issues, and I would want to try and be there as an emotional rock of support. The only thing that stopped me from self mutilation was putting my passion into music and my foundational hope that I will find peace one day -- I don't know where life will take me. Chances are she would be probably like how I was (maybe I am today still, who knows). Maybe therapy would help. I'd have to read the situation and see if I should offer to take her down.
Often times, people with self esteem/self hate/self mutilation problems just need someone to talk to without their walls put in place. A deep heart-to-heart conversation. They feel alone in the world and have trouble forming connections as they put up a mask and a smile.
Basically, I'd try to get through this and make it out as a stronger couple. Even if the relationship falls apart in the process, at least I can try to help her before her situation turns even worse :)0
Most Helpful Girl
I have had this problem, my current boyfriend is a military vet and has had a lot of trouble with depression and attempted suicide. At first I felt like I was walking on egg shells, but he is a person, and he shouldn't be treated like anything different. I of course try to avoid hot button issues, but talking about it can be good. He used to never be able to talk about his friends' deaths without getting dangerously depressed, but now he can remember them without getting too sad. My one piece of advice-- try to get them away from any alcohol or drugs, and if you thing its necessary, don't be afraid to suggest therapy.1