Guys only want a nice and attractive partner, while women want a man who has it all?

so i saw one guy commenting that when it comes to dating men only (or mostly) look for a nice and attractive girl. While women on the other hand want look for more complex things like education, intelligence, how funny they are height etc. And because of that men have it way more difficult then women when it comes to dating.

How true is this? are the only thinsg guys look for in a girl attractivness and being nice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yep, I say it often. I'm glad a female caught on. :P

    I see masculine sexuality as having personality and physical attractiveness as it's dominant factors. It's more complicated than that because personality can become a bit more important over time and things like that, but that's the basics.

    Feminine sexuality still has both of those factors (although arguably they aren't as dominant) but puts a lot of stock in another factor I usually call either security or capability. It's pretty much all the other stuff you mentioned and more, although height also overlaps with physical attractiveness.

    So yea, men could be said to not really be asking a lot, yet still endure a lot of pressure to live up to this amazing character women have in their mind. I've often felt that in this way masculine sexuality is more "pure."

    "Niceness" isn't the whole thing, that alone is boring. Being "nice and pretty" might be enough to feel comfortable sleeping with her (don't take that to mean we don't respect her) and getting to know her a bit better. There's more to personality than that obviously, but generally we just simplify things by saying just be pretty and nice, that's it.

    The bottom line is I just want someone to support me emotionally, be affectionate with and hangout with. Although apparently finding a girl that can handle male vulnerability is a massive ask. Seems like guys really just want a cute bestie, while women want so much more and offer little sympathy for not measuring up.

    I find it far easy to indulge in romantic (not sexual) fantasies with guys... like I'll day dream about cuddling and watching Netflix or something with a guy because apparently it's just too unrealistic to imagine that a girl would like me for me and not my confidence and capability.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends whether "dating" means finding someone for a one night stand or finding someone for a relationship. It's definitely easier for women to just get laid - we don't have to be nice and we don't have to be that attractive. Men are held to a much higher standard, and I think it's just market forces: there are a lot more men at the bar just looking for a hookup than there are women. When it comes to relationships, attractiveness and niceness are baseline things to decide whom you'll even consider, but nobody stays in a relationship with someone who doesn't accept them for who they are, someone who doesn't share or indulge at least some of their interests, someone who isn't interesting to talk to or fun to be with, whatever that means for the individual.
    If men chose women purely on the basis of looks, I'd be SOL. Every man I've ever dated has also valued independence and brains, and been willing to "settle" for a women who didn't look like a lingerie model. But if they told you what they loved about me, I bet they'd wouldn't say any of that. I bet they'd say they fell for me 'cause they trusted me and felt trusted by me; because I saw them as their best selves and didn't try to change them; or because I felt lucky to be with them and treated them accordingly.

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What Guys Said 30

  • Was that me? xD I remember saying that haha and yeah, for the most part it is true. A guy wants a girl that is attractive and will treat him right. He doesn't care if she has money, how good her job is, if she's hilarious, if she's very confident... sure, some of these can be extra points, but in general, we don't tend to care that much for that.
    On the other hand, a woman has a checklist with a bunch of things, if the man doesn't has at least 80% of that list, he's rejected.

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  • I wouldn't be that specific, but yeah. In general, it's MUCH tougher for a man to be attractive to women, than for a woman to be attractive to men. Not talking only about physical attractiveness here.

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  • Sounds about right + I just told @RexCatholicissimus the same thing. Ya know about our standards being different "gender" wise when it comes to dating LOL i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

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    • Guy = be cute, have a decent personality + STD free.

      Girls = Fucking 20000+ things before you're even given the time of day LOLOLLO

  • Well.. no its not that easy. That would be reason enough to sleep with her but if I want her to be my girlfriend we have to fit. We should at least share some interests and maybe she should be open enough to find new interests. Because maybe she also has something I never thought about. She doesn't have to like it, but at least try it. Soooo no.. No just being pretty and nice and polite is NOT enough.

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    • "feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up" = what I'll be writing from now on here on these types of questions LOL

  • it's not the only thing we look for, but if you don't know a girl, you are not going to look at her if you are not attracted to her. like last night I was out with two female friends, and we were on a patio at some food/desert place. at a different table two girls sat down, one was facing me, but wasn't very attractive, and didn't dress very well. the other was sitting so she couldn't see me, but from the side view she seemed more attractive, and I kept looking over trying to see if she would turn her freaking head so I could get a look at her face.

    I would not have gone to talk to her anyways, because that is how I am, but I would definitely have felt nervous if she had turned to look, because I would have thought that maybe she saw me and was attracted to me.

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  • Over the years I have learned that men and women look totally different to attractiveness. And personally I think us men look at it simpler.

    Try and see "Nice" as "a character that appeals to a man". And "nice" is how you can basically sum up a person. Education is great but that doesn't make a person better or worse. How tall she is doesn't make her any different. How successful she is doesn't make her any more attractive. That she is talented is something is nice but doesn't make her any more attractive. She is who is. She is nice or she is not.

    As a man you cannot say "That girl did not appeal to me before but now that I know she plays the piano I think she is great". Or "Now that I know she created a new computer Operating System I suddenly find her attractive". To a man she will remain the same person she has always been. Attractive or not attractive.

    I do see those things become a factor in how woman looks at a man.

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  • it depends on the guy every person is different

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  • That is so FAWKEN true! Ever wonder why sum men become bitter towards women? 😋

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  • It's slightly true, depends on what the girl is like is at least nice, and excepts me. Some men find it that the more he likes about the girl the more attractive she is to him.

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  • I am not into dating cuz
    1- I am young
    2- I am focusing on my studies...
    BUT i think that the girl should be good from the inside and 6/10 or above from the outside.

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  • Boom, on the money. Core attraction fuel: for women=power, for men= looks. I personally want a bitch for a partner because I'm becoming a dick and we would compliment each other;)

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  • Not really. I could care less about looks.

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  • I look for a nice girl who has her head on right and is attractive to me. Don't care how she looks in other guys eyes.

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  • You don't think that's true?

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  • Women are more picky because they think about it more than we do growing up weddings kids and the like boys Dont. Women also have a smaller selection to pick from because they outnumber men.

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  • no, guys think they only want an attractive partner untill they find one that has it all ;)

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  • Girls are way pickier when it comes to dating

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  • there's truth to it but it is a bit of an oversimplification.

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  • Its true but there is hwo looks for a good , faithful , and mature girl
    Someday that beauty will gone 😊

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  • Do u think education, intelligence or height makes a man? oh no..

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  • You are right its true

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  • The more we want from others, the more power we give others over us.

    So, if that is true, if women want more from men than men want from women, that means that there are men out there who are absolutely worthless and valueless to women, but some men out there that have more power and influence over women than the most beautiful woman has over any man.

    Here is the thing with most guys, they love to b*tch.

    There's a quote when I enter the gym I go to. It's like the first thing everyone sees if they're paying attention on their way in. It says:

    "Make an effort, not an excuse."

    That's true for both men and women.

    Instead of being the woman who "complains" about what men want, or why men are the way they are, or what men prefer... try using all that energy towards, not eating so much, eating healthy, going to the gym, replacing her underwear with thongs, dressing like she's proud and unashamed of her body and sexuality, throwing out her boring nasty ass shoes and filling up her closet with 6" inch platform high heels, learning to apply make-up, taking a lap dance class instead of a pole dance "fitness" class, taking a class on blowjobs... yes... offensive for the over-sensitive and those who want to make "excuses," but an effective game plan for those who feel like re-directing their efforts towards something actually productive.

    Similarly, for guys, instead of complaining, "Ugh, girls are all such golddiggers, they just want a guy with money, or who looks good, or who is basically their 24/7 on-call therapist, they just want a lot from guys, and what do guys get out of these deal that guys actually care about or want? The sex? Not worth it!"

    First of all, if that's all you want, that's your problem. Women come as a package deal. If that's all you enjoy, then that's your problem. If you don't feel it's an "even" trade, then don't make the trade. Otherwise, quit making "excuses," and watch what you eat, put those beers down, start hitting the gym, give a sh*t about your grades in school, give a sh*t about where you will be working, give a sh*t about how much you make and who you are in society, learn to dress well, learn to talk to people, learn to function in social settings, learn to listen and understand how someone is feeling emotionally - and just "comfort" people instead of trying to "fix" things, and please take a class on how to use your hands, mouth, and penis.

    As a guy, dating is just easier if you put in the effort.

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  • Let's apply a little logic here.
    Since the women have the power to pick and choose, guys are really left with two options only.

    They can take what they can get, or stay single.
    The average guy will almost always be settling, if he wants a girlfriend.
    Because he doesn't have the luxury of excessive choice.

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  • I have a big dick

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  • That sounds about right. I mean, having an education is great, but if you aren't pleasant to spend time with, well who cares about the education at that point?

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  • What if u still get girls but u r not smart at all no collage is only 5'9 and is really shy so can't really be funny cause he barly talks only thing he has is a good job really strong/good shape and is a protector would that be enof

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  • Being attractive and nice and interested in them is enough for almost all men. It's enough for most women too but where men settle easily, women tend to want as much as they can get. It's probably biological.

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  • Men are narrow minded. They only look for attractiveness and appearance. But an attractive girl is different for most men. I feel like most guys just want an attractive girl to make their presence in public stand out. They feel like if they have a nice, attractive girl, they will get the looks from other people. You ever have the feeling when you see an attractive guy in some place, but he is so attractive that other girls are looking at him as well. It is the same feeling for guys, and we have to deal with our emotions. One thing that I feel is so different from the perspective of both males and females. Not all guys who are attractive are smart and common sense minded. Yes it is true guys only want attractive, sexy women, but not all. It is only due to the appearance they have in public.

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  • I agree that attractive and nice are the main things most guys look for in a girl (myself included). But I wouldn't think that makes it harder for a guy to date.

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What Girls Said 11

  • The average woman is a lot more demanding than the average man. So yes, this statement does hold a lot of truth. I admit it.

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  • For a relationship men usually do have more standards than just looks.

    And it depends on the type of woman if she cares about educational level and all that nonsense. To me it's looks and personality that matter. Anything else is irrelevant when it comes to love and physical attraction.

    I'm not materialistic so someones job and salary are irrelevant to me. He could be a garbage man for all I care. All I want is someone I'm attracted to, love the personality and who is able to make me laugh a lot and do crazy things with me.

    I have always taken care of myself and I refuse others to take care of me (it's a sickness.. very strict upbringing with little freedom can do this to you).

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  • guys are visual creatures while women are more into personality

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  • There are plenty of guys who want much more than that and women who want less. You're generalizing.

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    • I never said it was fact.. I was ASKING, this are not my words

    • The way you worded it made it seem that way. And it seems like it should be a no-brainer: some do, some don't.

      I think I need a break from this site because I guess common sense isn't as common as I thought.

  • I don't think women have higher expectations than men about a partner but I do think men have it tougher because women expect them to take the first step. And this is a serious problem for shy guys :/

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  • You can be attracted to someone's look, but never fall in love with it. Boys dont realise that, girls do. And boys dont "look' for these things, they just go for them. but at the end of the day both boys and girls fall in love with personalities

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  • I think us women are a little more complex. But I don't think either that that's all guys want too.

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  • attractiveness is not something a person can change or fix, maybe improve at most

    education, intelligence, how funny, a guy they can change it

    so men have it better

    why do then some men have a difficult time dating? Because they are trying to get one of the hot girls when they aren't good enough to get one.

    Realistically however even hot women want a hot guy with all the other things like education, funny and smart,

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  • Its true, but i am not really too dependent on the materialistic things. He doesn't need it all to impress me. I look for the qaulity in a man, and not the qauntity of what he has. He can not be a low life. He has to have dreams, and goals a plan for himself, though.

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  • Women have it easier because most men think with their dick, not with their brain. Most guys have no standards, they're just happy anyone is paying attention to them & will sleep with whoever is giving it up, which is sad. Have some dignity!

    Yes, woman are hit on all the time, but we know it's just for sex not a relationship.

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  • I think its worse for woman cause they get judged for things that are out of their control while men get judged for what they do and how they act.

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