so i saw one guy commenting that when it comes to dating men only (or mostly) look for a nice and attractive girl. While women on the other hand want look for more complex things like education, intelligence, how funny they are height etc. And because of that men have it way more difficult then women when it comes to dating.
How true is this? are the only thinsg guys look for in a girl attractivness and being nice?
Most Helpful Guy
Yep, I say it often. I'm glad a female caught on. :P
I see masculine sexuality as having personality and physical attractiveness as it's dominant factors. It's more complicated than that because personality can become a bit more important over time and things like that, but that's the basics.
Feminine sexuality still has both of those factors (although arguably they aren't as dominant) but puts a lot of stock in another factor I usually call either security or capability. It's pretty much all the other stuff you mentioned and more, although height also overlaps with physical attractiveness.
So yea, men could be said to not really be asking a lot, yet still endure a lot of pressure to live up to this amazing character women have in their mind. I've often felt that in this way masculine sexuality is more "pure."
"Niceness" isn't the whole thing, that alone is boring. Being "nice and pretty" might be enough to feel comfortable sleeping with her (don't take that to mean we don't respect her) and getting to know her a bit better. There's more to personality than that obviously, but generally we just simplify things by saying just be pretty and nice, that's it.
The bottom line is I just want someone to support me emotionally, be affectionate with and hangout with. Although apparently finding a girl that can handle male vulnerability is a massive ask. Seems like guys really just want a cute bestie, while women want so much more and offer little sympathy for not measuring up.
I find it far easy to indulge in romantic (not sexual) fantasies with guys... like I'll day dream about cuddling and watching Netflix or something with a guy because apparently it's just too unrealistic to imagine that a girl would like me for me and not my confidence and capability.0
Most Helpful Girl
I think it depends whether "dating" means finding someone for a one night stand or finding someone for a relationship. It's definitely easier for women to just get laid - we don't have to be nice and we don't have to be that attractive. Men are held to a much higher standard, and I think it's just market forces: there are a lot more men at the bar just looking for a hookup than there are women. When it comes to relationships, attractiveness and niceness are baseline things to decide whom you'll even consider, but nobody stays in a relationship with someone who doesn't accept them for who they are, someone who doesn't share or indulge at least some of their interests, someone who isn't interesting to talk to or fun to be with, whatever that means for the individual.
If men chose women purely on the basis of looks, I'd be SOL. Every man I've ever dated has also valued independence and brains, and been willing to "settle" for a women who didn't look like a lingerie model. But if they told you what they loved about me, I bet they'd wouldn't say any of that. I bet they'd say they fell for me 'cause they trusted me and felt trusted by me; because I saw them as their best selves and didn't try to change them; or because I felt lucky to be with them and treated them accordingly.0