I did not pick my College wisely enough. It seemed logical that I should be in D. C. if I wanted to study politics, but I did not know until later how incompatible I would be with that school with my views, and because of that most of the people hated me except for a few friends I had. It was a disaster and led to me going to three other schools, and then not graduating, and then struggling to have a career 4 1/2 years later and being so unhappy with life flying by me because nothing ever gets better. I cry a lot more often now than I used to because I don't have a lot of hope left, and I hate to say it, but it's how I I feel. It's worse now because both of my younger brothers are at College, so I feel the time passing even more.
I want to be 18 again and to do things differently. :/ I want to have more fun in College, and maybe graduate with something I like that would be more productive by now, since I can't seem to get anywhere in politics, I want to have more friends to hang out with, I want to study abroad, and I want to date and have a girlfriend and such. :/ HS was rough for me too because I went to HS at two different ones that I was very unhappy at... my grades were OK but considering I got rejected from the top four schools on my eight school list they could've been better, and I know I could've had higher grades if I was happier. I had like a 3.31 unweighted GPA and an 1830 on the SAT, so I don't know... there are some places I wouldn't have gotten in to, but I am sure I could've done better.
Anyway, I want to be around cool people my age and I want to have a life... and nothing. :(
For instance the last time I really had a chance to spend significant time with a decent # of people was on my birthright israel trip in mid-2011. Those people turned out to be mean and I didn't like a lot of the stuff they were doing, so most of them did not become friends either.
I really don't know. My transcripts are a mess and I got robbed on some grades, and I have so much student debt. TBH I was so tired of this in 2011 and just wanted to work on a Presidential campaign, but in the past year or