Is it wrong to spank your kids?

Is it wrong to spank your kids


0|0
15|26

Most Helpful Guy

  • "I" personally believe that an adult, or grown person
    never should raise a hand against a child, even as discipline.

    A rule I often try to have parents remember, is that it's "never
    the fault of the child, if something happens.

    Accidents occur, and more often than not
    it's the upbringing or surroundings that's to blame.

    There're always other options as to what one can do
    for instance, at my work there's this child who finds it funny
    to hit the girls, so I excluded him a short while, from our playtime.

    Telling/talking to them why what they do is wrong, is better than physically
    harming them.. A burnt child does indeed dread the fire, but it will be the adult
    they'll shun, and not their wrongdoing they'll fear, if they're hit.

    "Spanking" is the easy way out, and by no means the better option.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Spanking is sometimes necessary as a last resort but shouldn't be done out of anger and it should be followed up by a very clear explanation for why they were punished.

    • Show All
    • "Spanking" to me is a swat on the bottom that's accompanied by a stern lecture about why the punished behaviour is bad.. entirely different than using violence to solve problems.

      I was spanked three times as a kid, as a last resort. I was a very strong willed child and there were a couple of circumstances in which I kept doing something that was dangerous and no number of time outs, lectures or rescinded privileges were enough to curb my behaviour. My parents made the right call in spanking me. I finally stopped doing the things that I was spanked for. Do you really think that the right call would have been to continue trying strategies that did not work while I continued to do things that put my safety at risk? No. My parents reali it was either spank the kid, or risk her getting hit by a car. I'm glad they valued my life over some rigid sense of morality. I never once doubted my parents loved me, ad even at a young age I could tell that spanking me was something they hated doing

    • @Sara413

      I'm sure they love/loved you very much, I don't doubt that at all
      and it is indeed the right choice, to value your life over their morality.

      But as I see it, a last resort would be the child
      pointing a loaded gun at them.

      An authoritative person will need only his/her voice
      to have someone drop what they're doing (dictatorship)
      it's difficult, and rare to possess such a trait

      If you don't embody the spirit of dictatorship
      then spanking isn't wrong, but it is lazy parenting
      as I see it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's "wrong" per say but I do think it is lazy parenting. My parents didn't have to resort to physical violence to teach me a lesson. Not once was I spanked and I have a lot of respect for them so the whole "you need spanking to teach respect" thing is utter BS. Many parents nowadays don't spend enough time with their kids or practice inconsistent parenting habits then they wonder why their kids rebel or do irresponsible things.

    1|2
    0|0

What Guys Said 25

  • Spanking kids learns a kid that dad thinks it's ok to use violence and inflict pain to solve a problem he has, to transmit a desire to someone who's less strong.

    2|3
    0|0
  • It makes sense only under the age of 2, in order to prevent your child from touching electric cables or other things that would potentially murder them.

    After that, you have to appeal to their emotions so they'll feel bad about doing bad things; and not just oppress them into submission through applying physical violence and pain. All they'll learn from that is that if someone disagrees with them, they should punch them in the face like some subhuman sociopath.

    1|3
    0|0
    • I was actually wondering, if this could be the reason
      for women believing, that slapping men is "okay"

      And that some guys become so aggresive
      later on in their lives.

    • Show All
    • I'm glad that other people feel, as I do.

      I still enjoy every single bit of input from you
      you've got your brain in the right place.. ^.^

  • There is a difference in spanking a child to enforce proper behavior , and I am in favor of it. Abuse how ever is wrong period !! I don't give a damn what the child did that got him/ her in trouble , never spank them while angry , it's to easy to go over board in to abuse

    1|0
    0|1
    • @bryon Spanking a child cold blooded is particularly cruel.
      Is that a lesson or an image you want to teach?
      Spanking a child in anger learns the child it's ok to use violence when in anger.

    • Show All
    • The news proves no link.
      It proves ony what news voyeurs like to see (between ads)

    • @jacquesvol ok what ever you say

  • I wouldn't spank my kids. I was hit growing up and the only thing that taught me was to use violence on other kids to solve my problems. Then the school would notify my parents which got me hit which made me angry and want to do the same to other kids. I got more than spanking though..

    I do think it's strange that children are the only people that we are allowed to hit. Hell if we hit our pets we can go to jail for that shit.

    1|0
    0|0
  • At certain times yeah, but kids are very impressionable so you gotta be careful what you say and do around them.

    1|1
    0|0
  • No it's not in fact I think it should be encouraged, lack of discipline is partly to blame for this fucked up generation. I was spanked and I turned out fine, so did the rest of my family, and most of my friends, you just have to know were to draw the line between discipline and abuse which for me is about 3-4 swats with the belt.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is not a good method to teach or control. There are better ways to do it like positive reinforcements (giving something good when they do something correct) and negative punishments (taking something good away when they do something bad). Spanking is a positive punishment (giving something bad when they do bad), and positive punishment leads to humiliation, fear, and hatred.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on the kid. For me, it didn't tell me why what i did was wrong so all it really did was teach me not to get caught next time. It also encouraged me to become more psychopathic and, in some cases, downright sadistic towards people I don't like.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No, cause my parents would use a belt on me ( dad)
    My mom used her shoe , I was slapped in the face
    So sorry i could never spank a child if i had one

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nah as long as it's not overboard to the point it's full on thrashings.

    www.evolutionaryparenting.com/.../...-violence.jpg

    1|0
    1|3
    • I'd like to think that more spanking = more thugs.

    • Show All
    • If you knew what you did wrong etc then obviously getting spanked was pointless. Plenty of parents don't bother telling exactly what went wrong though. I still think it solves absolutely nothing, if you can't handle a CHILD without hitting them then you don't deserve to have kids.

    • @LightsOff
      If that's how you feel alright lol

  • No, it's not. It is wrong to abuse them. Many people can't tell the difference though. My siblings and I were spanked and we all turned out just fine.

    0|0
    0|2
    • People with mental illnesses don't realize they have issues without external verification. For example, a person with schizophrenia might see visions that nobody else does; but to them, it's real.

      Similarly, one's assessment of oneself isn't always perfectly valid information if one's faults are not visible to them. You can't really tell how you had turned out without spanking, and what effects it had on you otherwise.

    • Show All
    • @mesonfielde, Absolutely I can tell what effects it had on me. I understand and respect authority. I understand that if I make bad choices, there will be negative consequences. I don't hate or resent my parents for it, nor have I lived in fear of them. I do not have issues with anxiety, anger, or trust. And in fact, I have fairly high self-esteem.

      Now do I know how I would have turned out without being spanked? No. Could I have grown up just the same without it? It's possible. But what I do know for sure is how I did turn out, which again, was just fine.

  • Without a doubt.
    There are much better ways to discipline your kids. Spanking is just an easy way out. An extremely lazy and poor way that has the potential to cause issues to the child when he/she grows older. If you think that spanking actually enables you to reinforce your values onto the child, it doesn't. It teaches the child to fear spanking, and to avoid doing anything wrong in front of you. It's not going to stop them from doing it elsewhere.
    Furthermore, this sort of physical discipline has often been linked to psychological issues in people when they are adults.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think it has to be part of your repertoir of pedagogic tools. if used rarely, it can be useful to disciplin your child with a lot of various escalation levels with spanking being the ultimate worst escalation level.

    1|0
    0|0
  • A smack to the behind is fine in my opinion, abuse is not.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I got my ass wooped all the time if I did something bad when I was little. But I was never abused. There's a line that you can't cross that some people do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only if you do it excessively and/or for little to no reason.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes , those parents is probably experienced same things when they are still child , too

    chain reaction

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes, it humiliates them and they may become rebellious.

    1|1
    1|0
  • No it's not over done and they're not beaten to death.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, I think it is necessary in certain circumstances

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not really. But not thrash him/her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope not wrong in moderation.

    0|0
    0|1
  • No. I was spanked as a child and I deserved it. People who say that the parent just doesn't know how to parent have their heads so far up their own ass. They've just never truly been with a child that was out of control. A lot of kids realize being put in the corner isn't a magical force that forces them to stay there. They just force anything they want and spanking corrects that behavior. It's no coincidence people are more awful than ever when spanking became taboo in the recent decades... People are selfish and hateful now because they were coddled as a baby and so they think they can do what they want. Never hit a child out of anger only spank them as a way to reprimand them. I do think banning spanking is incredibly stupid and is more harmful than helpful.

    0|0
    1|0
    • People are more awful than ever? Have you even learned any history at school, at all?

    • Show All
    • There were always rotten people since ancient times. The only difference is social media has made it easier for us to be informed of the news quickly. Many years ago, it would probably take weeks to know what happened around your neighbor. Telegrams were slow in comparing to today's technology.

    • Also back then, more than likely many people from those times weren't even informed of how bad crimes were because some things were hidden. Now everything that's hidden is in the open. That's why you think people have gotten worse than before. They haven't. It's just more open.

  • No.
    Beating your child is wrong.
    But spanking is acceptable and teaches your child respect, how to behave and who's in charge.

    0|0
    0|2
  • yes it is. Studies have shown that positive reinforcement is much more emotionally healthy and effective than negative reinforcement.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 14

  • In my opinion, yes. It is unnecessary. There are way better ways to punish children when they've done something wrong, it doesn't have to cause them physical pain. I see it as child abuse. I will never spank my kids, no way in hell.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I think so. If you can't make a point without hitting your child, then you shouldn't even be a parent. It will only teach the child that violence solves problems and it will make them afraid of you. Even if you don't "spank hard" as some people claim. It's still completely unnecessary.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't agree with that method. There are other ways to get your points across without using your hands or objects to hit a child; someone weaker than you.

    If I were a mother, I would want him/her to understand why that particular behavior is wrong and see me disappointed rather than only associating it with an ''It's wrong because my mother's gonna hit me''. That's not answering it why it's truly wrong.

    0|2
    0|0
  • No. But it should be a last resort. I was spanked three times as a kid and I deserved it each time. I'd been told over and over again and they'd run out of other punishments and behavioral techniques. The spankings worked.

    0|0
    1|0
    • Spanking, when used, must also be accompanied by a clear explanation of why they are being spanked and a discussion to ensure the child understands what they did wrong and why mommy/daddy had to resort to spanking ("you refused to listen when we told you over and over again not to do this thing. This thing is wrong because it is dangerous/it hurts others/etc. You must understand that this thing is bad and is noy acceptable. Do you understand? Do you understand why it is wrong? Will you do it again? Why/why not?")

    • When I was a kid, it wasn't the fact that the spanking hurt that made me not want to do the bad thing again. It was knowing that mom/dad did not want to do it but had no other choice so obviously the thing I did was really, really bad if it forced them to do something they really don't like doing. It was like "holy cow - mom is actually going to spank me! I guess what I did was a lot worse than I thought! "

  • Nope. it's perfectly normal.
    Not hard, just so they get the message.

    0|1
    1|1
  • It's not wrong but it's certainly not the best way of doing things. Children who are spanked are usually more aggressive than those who are not.
    The authoritative parenting style is a lot better in my opinion.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No it's not wrong, I'v got spanked and I'm still alive xD a spank doesn't hurt a lot

    0|0
    1|0
  • I don't see any point to spanking really. it doesn't teach the kids anything. like if I spanked my kids for doing something b=dangerous, that wouldn't show them why it was dangerous.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not in my opinion. Moderation is key.

    0|0
    1|0
  • No. I was spanked when I was a kid and I turned out fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • IT IS WRONG, my mom used to beat me and only cuz i used to pee on my blankets whilst sleeping. It only made me grew up with fear. and fear is not the same as respect.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes it is, you can hit but not like that

    im muslim, we have rules when it comes to that and im a firm believer in them

    1) NEVER hit in demeaning or offensive or private areas (like face, butt, breasts... etc)
    2) not more than 3 strikes
    3) it can't leave a mark (bruise, cut, blood... etc)
    4) only hit as a last resort when nothing else works
    5) (not too sure) no name calling or offending them

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. My aunt tried to solve every problem with violence and her elder son feels uncomfortable being physically close to her now. The younger one is a little devil. That's no way to raise your kids. You shouldn't be hitting anyone after all, especially a vulnerable kid. That's pathetic.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yes it is!!!

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...