Have you ever tried to help someone, but feel like you just made things worse for them?

Like whatever you were trying to say they took it the wrong way or not in how you intended, and instead of feeling better they feel worse?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah I think that's happened a lot in my scenario. At times like that, you are just trying to help out someone because you either want to be polite or genuinely help them out. But they usually just take it the wrong way, and they mistrepreted or they are just to stressed out at that very moment and they kind of verbally lash it out on you out of frustration.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It happens a lot when I give advice to someone on here. I'm not sure if it makes them feel better or worse, but it always makes me question if I made the right decision.

    For instance, there's been a couple times where a person has messaged me something like "Should I break up with him or call of this long term relationship?" I ask for all the info I can, and I think really hard on what the answer should be. Sometimes the answer is yes, and then I tell them that and my reasons why. And after I tell them that, they sometimes end up actually breaking up with the person and have a period after where they feel horrible. They then often say they feel like shit and they'll sometimes say they regret it and they feel guilty and what not.

    While I try my best, I pretty much always feel kinda bad, because I know I influenced them in the decision. In my head, I still feel like I said the right decision for them in the long run, but I always get the worry that I said the wrong thing. Like I ask the what ifs. What if I told them to stick through it? Would they be able to weather through the storm? Did I just cause her more pain? It sincerely is a struggle I deal with, because I truly want to help them, but I just worry I make things worse. Sometimes life is just a lose lose situation, and I can't help but worry if I pushed them towards a bigger loss.

    So to answer your question, they don't really take it the wrong way, but I feel the pain of everyone-- and whether I gave them good advice or not. They understand what I mean, but I can't help but wonder if I influenced them positively and actually helped them.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yep, happens all the time. I believe in being honest and sometimes that is not necessarily what they want to hear but I'd rather just be upfront as opposed to sugar coating everything as in the long run, that approach helps no one.

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  • Yes all the time D:

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What Guys Said 1

  • No that has not happened to me so far when helping others. It works out well.

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