Do you feel as if you lack genuine connection with people?

Perhaps it seems people are boring to you on the surface, but there is so much more to this problem than this. You love conversation, you love to see smiles on peoples' face, you love to be intellectually intriguing. However this is so often not the type of interaction you have with people. You really detest small talk, rather you like to probe further, glimpse at people's ambitions, see what they true think about, tackle powerful questions that arise in every day life. However you so often feel people give up on trying to connect, they don't seem to want to engage you. They are rushed seeking a forever more prominent future and neglecting the current moment. Eager to head out to do but never seemingly ready to explore, explore the minds of others.

This is how I am feeling now.
How bout you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Absolutely

    I'm probably quite a boring person because I don't like socializing all that much :/ . Most people I just find quite draining to be around, even if they're really nice. It's not their fault at all.

    There are very few people I've had a real connection with.

    At the moment I have this one really close guy friend who I trust absolutely, and who trusts me and talks to me about deep stuff, and that makes me feel so special. Unfortunately he doesn't want our relationship to be anything more, and he lives a really long way from me :( (although we're closer while we're both at university)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've only found a few people who I would want to hang out with as much as possible. Most people bore me after a while. I tend to like most people though.

    I love to talk about interesting stuff, but some people talk about the same old bullshit all the fucking time, and it's not engaging, and I wanna kill myself.
    But my best friend, my crush, and perhaps these two new friends I've made here... well, I could talk to them for hours, I imagine.

    Unfortunately, for some reason, people don't wanna go sit on a park bench and shoot the shit and people watch for hours. I would love that with the people I mentioned above. Actually, with anyone that I know.

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    • I hear ya man. People take for granted the serenity of just sitting down and talking without some distraction to make it "acceptable".

    • Do you think it's because of the 21st century, and how people need to feel busy all the time? Was it different in the 80s?

    • In a sense yes. Technology has always been a disruptive pressure, causing disorder for people in every time period. Great thinkers have analyzed the subject deeply and there are many aspects to it. Specifically it seems vthere are two main issues. The first of which is that people are not present in today's society, they are constantly seeking what's next for they assume its better and refuse to acknowledge the current moment. They are on stand by waiting, yearning for thier phone to bring them a better opportunity to seek. Secondly there is too much information for any one person to ever absorb and this constant motivation to absorb all has reduced the depth in which people examine all facets of life. They skim many and learn few. I like to turn to the words of Seneca on the subject. He brings a refreshing concept up. This is the idea to embrace one idea wholeheartedly, to fully understand it, rather than muse superficially with a multitude.

What Girls Said 8

  • Kind of, I think the whole ordeal about genuine connection with someone is based whether they choose to be open with you. Some people feel uncomfortable talking about things like that. So maybe the connection isn't right there for people to be so open with you so easily.

    People have walls up for a reason, a side where you only see them in a front on view, otherwise they will let you in. But I would like to feel like I can have a connection with someone as that would make me feel comfortable around them making the atmosphere more pleasant and less awkward.

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  • This happens to me occasionally but I honestly find myself genuinely connecting with most of the people I meet. It becomes really exhausting and overwhelming once they all get comfortable enough to lay all of their deep emotional stuff onto me. Genuine connections are awesome but they have a heavy side too. Don't feel bad.

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    • See, the depth from a good conversation energizes me, I gain a sense of wonder, an angle of perspective that is unattainable anywhere else, because well you are contesting and interacting with the mind of another. It's these bland repetitive, breaking the wall talks that kill me. It's exhausting to think in such a horizontal method, jumping from topic to topic with out really caring about what is being said.

  • Ask this a few years back and my answer would be "yes, I do feel that way." Now days, I actually like being around people, small talk or not. Luckily I AM around enough people on a daily basis to learn something new each and every time. I'm going to toot my own horn here and say that whenever I'm conversing with people it's a different connection and I can tell they are just as much into the conversation as I am. All in all, I have no complaints.

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  • I feel like I lack genuine connection with an overwhelming majority of people I 'befriend'
    It's a problem because I honestly want deep bonds with people who understand me. But it's hard, and I don't know where to start or what I'm doing wrong.

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  • I get you 100%. Friendships tend to be very superficial nowadays.

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  • I feel connected but in a very superficial way most of the time. It has nothing to do with small talk or a desire for deeper topics however. It's just that I often feel that I am disposable to most people, while I value them.

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  • Nah, I'm sure I lack genuine connection with people because I don't quite like being around them much.

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  • Yes, I feel like this sometimes. I want to connect, I like to help others but I don't feel anything sometimes. I mean, I'm glad some are happy and whatnot, but no one "knows" me really. They have a lot in common with me and like me, but I am not feeling it.

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    • It's crazy how it feels normal to know so many people, as in able to recognize them, but to real "know" so few. It's kinda deplorable to think it's okay for us to do that.

    • I do know my friends and family really well, but no one seems to get me. It was made very obvious during my birthday and other holidays... the things they did or got me isn't me at all. So it makes me feel disconnected.

      Side note, I don't want gifts. It's more what they did that made me feel like they didn't know me. It's not bad, and I'm sure another person would have loved it. But I am quiet and reserved, I don't like loud obnoxious parties and stuff.

What Guys Said 1

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