Am I a failure?

I have had a confidence problem since I was a kid. being raised with an Indian family in the USA, I dealt with strict ass parents, who'd control who my friends were and made me study a LOT. while I studied in elementary school, my peers played sports or the new PlayStation. tho I was more free to choose my friends by the time I reached high school. I tried to make friends in elementary and middle school, but was commonly bullied verbally, by guys and girls. I was made fun of by some people for NO reason whatsoever. very few people stood by my side. I used that time to focus on academics. by the time high school rolled in, I made a toxic friend, who verbally treated me like crap. I always wanted to ditch him (and he was strong, so I couldn't fight him, andi didn't want to be a tattletale). however, everyone was in groups and cliques, and didn't look for new friends at ALL. I found some friends in junior and senior year tho, but it was a small group and almost everyone there was guys (only one girl). I have anxiety and depression (no money for therapy and Indian parents say to focus on studies THEN look for friends and girls). however, nobody wanted to hang out with me during breaks and after school, or even be in study groups, since they had their own friends. I lacked the confidence to approach girls I didn't know, or acquaintances in classes, since they had their cliques. some girls even ignored me over a fucking Hi. or stopped talking to me for NO reason whatsoever. I feel so worthless, as I graduated high school, without much friends (and my peers really enjoyed hs, as they had good grades AND friends). while I had only ONE group (5 guys and ONE female friend), and my grades were B's and C's. a fucking 2.7 GPA. and went to prom without a date. I look back and think what'd have happened if I DID ask a date ( those who did had dates or went with friends), and if I DID have more friends. does life even get better?

NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS PLEASE

Updates:
I will study computer science in University in 2 weeks
I also am autistic, 160 lbs, 5 foot 8, and Indian

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you're not a failure!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not a failure. You are just too pressured. Try to loosen up.
    I am from Pakistan I have guy friends but it is different from states universities I guess.

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    • different from states universities?

    • I mean you are in U. S. I assume you are from U. S

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • You are not a failure! But please try to use paragraphs in the future. Thank you ;)

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