How to get out of this depressive rut?

Absolutely everything has gone to shit.
I had a really great summer, just graduated high school. My summer was fantastic but I quit my job due to poor conditions and crappy pay so I've been broke since July.

I didn't get a new job because I was too busy fucking around with my friends all summer.
But August rolled in and I got prepared for college and I've been putting in applications. Unfortunately I've had no luck with the job situation and long story short I can't start college until next semester because I don't have money for gas and also my car is falling apart and isn't reliable enough to take me 35 min there and back everyday.

Most of my friends are off to college and complaining about the work but I'm jealous, I feel so stagnant.
I'm so broke that I can't do anything but I'm too depressed to anyway.

I think most of my depression is due to getting my heart completely crushed about a month ago, I was seeing a guy but he hurt me and I was so used to being with him everyday that when that stopped it felt like withdrawals.

He made my self esteem inflate, without him its shit again. And it doesn't help that I'm too depressed to eat so I'm getting too skinny and because I can't eat I'm not working out. Can't build muscle without food.

My best friend also recently had to move out of state and my mom lost her job and literally everything is shit right now.

I'm sleeping way too much and have no motivation, I make up excuses to avoid seeing people but then I feel lonely and unloved. I don't wanna do anything but I don't wanna do nothing.

Any words for me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry you have fallen into this "hole". Maybe it might help to talk to someone professional? It's not a shame to do that.
    As for you not being able to start college, I can only say that there's really no reason to feel terrible about this. In fact, I've never quite understood why people make such a big deal out of finishing college as soon and as fast as possible. I find it quite sad to be honest. Higher education is supposed to be something that you enjoy and that makes you a smarter, more knowledgable and more mature person. If you wanna compare it to, say, a dinner, it's for me like a fun dinner out with friends. You have some starters, talk a bit, have your main course, talk more, maybe order some coffee... decide to go to a bar together and have a drink there and talk more etc.. It's not supposed to be the tasteless hamburger you hastily stuff into your throat in your half-hour lunch break so you can run back to work. I myself am taking quite a lot of time for my higher education and I don't feel terrible about it (in fact, I like studying quite a lot because I get to learn so many new things). I also didn't immediately start college after finishing high school. I felt like after 13 years of school (that's how much you have in my country when you're done with high school) I had enough of it for a while. I was getting sick of sitting in a classroom all the time and doing homework every day and stuff like that. I wanted to do something completely different. So I delayed my university-time for one year and instead tried out some other things. Many people in my country actually do that. For example I worked for a couple of months, which I had never done before. It was exhausting but also a fun and very new experience. I also went travelling on my own for three months, which is also something I had never thought I would do.
    And even now that I'm in university, I'm taking it pretty slow and easy. I want to enjoy it while it lasts. For example this year I have very few courses to complete because I'm almost done with my degree, so instead of maybe looking for a job or simply sitting around at home, I've decided to sign up and study some Japanese language studies. It has absolutely nothing to do with my two majors, I'm just doing it because I'm interested and because it's fun. Now, I understand you might not be able to do that because higher education is extremely expensive in the US but I still would like to urge you to not be so depressed about

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    • this. There's absolutely no reason you have to treat your higher education like that hamburger I mentioned before. Nobody, I mean, absolutely nobody will give a rat's ass whether you've completed your studies when you were 22 or 27 once you are 40 or 50. So try to look at things positively. It might bother you that you weren't able to start college this semester but try to look at the glass as half full. It can also be a chance! Now you suddenly and finally have the time to do WHATEVER you want. You'll never be as free and independent again as you are at this age. So really, make the best out of it and try to enjoy it while it lasts. Even things that seem only bad at first sight can turn out to have a pretty cool aspect if you get what I mean. As for the guy-problem... I'm sure you'll find a better person than him. High school relationships aren't very real/mature relationships anyways in most cases.

What Girls Said 1

  • First, God did you a favor by taking your boyfriend out of your life. I dated 2 different guys the summer between high school and college for about a month and a half each and I got dumped both times. But as soon as I started college, I found someone else and I realized why the other two guys were WRONG for me; they're purpose was not to be the person I would marry, but to toughen me up for college and show me what qualities I don't want in a man. Second, you were smart to quit that job. I got my first job ever (as a waitress) that same summer and quit after a week because the pay was shit and I was the only waitress other than the owner and was expected to do EVERYTHING with no extra pay. If you have filled out a FAFSA, colleges offer work-study options for students that work around your class schedule and may be a good option for you to look into. Third, I know people who are not starting college until the Spring or even the next Fall after high school, because they have things in their life that they need to work out. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of for not being able to start the Fall after high school. Fourth, still keep in touch with your best friend. Call her if you need to. Tell her you miss her. Keep her in your life. The other people in your life who are inviting you to do things, you should agree to one of them. Just one. You don't have to overextend yourself. When I am depressed, I want to go in a hole and die and I think about suicide. But what snaps me out of it is SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. Getting out of the house. Doing anything but staying put. Take a walk. Do something like that. Don't worry about not eating, your appetite will return. I hope this could help a little.

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