For the past 3 years, I have been suffering from depression. Pretty normal for people my age. But here's the problem- I have no reason to be upset. I have never had anything bad happen to me. Nothing tragic or sad. Absolutely nothing. I self harm, although I never cut because of my pathetic fear of blood and sharp objects. Sometimes I wonder if I am even depressed at all...
Another problem. I absolutely hate myself. I have talents. I can't do anything right. Nothing. In my opinion I am ugly and weird. I am socially awkward. Im terrified of people. There is absolutely nothing good about me whatsoever.
Another topic. I feel hated all the time by everyone. I feel that everyone should hate me, and that I should never be loved. I feel that I am too annoying and weird, and that people don't like me because of that.
I can go on with a very long list as to everything about me that I hate, but that is a waste of your time. I am sorry for how weird this is, but I am finding it extremely difficult to explain how I am feeling.
Most Helpful Girl
You're right; you're struggling with a problem a lot of people face, you are by no means alone. It's painful, and debilitating sometimes, and it's not something anyone should have to go through.
Depression it's an illness. It's to do with brain chemistry. While it can be triggered by bad things happening to someone, there doesn't need to be an external reason for someone to be depressed. If you're depressed, then you're ill, and you should in no way feel guilty for that because there isn't a 'reason'. How you feel is important and you deserve to feel better.
Something depression does is it causes cognitive distortions; basically your brain is lying to you when it tells you you're worthless or hated. Very importantly, depression lies to you in that you feel like things will never get better.
Your life is so, so valuable and you deserve to be loved. You in no way deserve to be depressed, and there is help available. You also need to help yourself, which is one of the hardest things to do when you're depressed :( .
Practising self care is really important. Be kind to yourself. Eat healthy food, get the sleep that you need, make sure you're clean. Those things are really important; even if you can manage nothing else, try to do those every day.
If you are self harming, even if it doesn't seem serious, that is also a really serious medical issue. If you can I would really strongly advise that you go to a doctor or a counsellor. But if you can't talk to someone in person, there are online resources and chatlines you can contact to help you deal with self harm and depression.
If your parents are unkind to you then that really sucks, and that is also something you really need to get outside help with.. Is there maybe a teacher who you could tell? Or another family member?
If not then the best I can really say is that I'm sorry, and I hope you can get out of the situation of having to live with them really soon. Not everyone will treat you so poorly, I promise.
I think you need to try and think of some things that you're proud of about yourself. Even just small things. And if there are things you really hate, try and think of some ways to improve them; setting small, achievable goals.
You aren't weird for how you feel. Many people suffer similarly to you, and there are plenty of people who will understand and want to offer you support.
Don't give up please.
I hope you feel a little better today <31
Most Helpful Guy
This just seems like a phase. If you feel it is something more serious then tell your parents.0