Why would she have a boyfriend if she's racist?

I know this girl who is racist. And I'm not saying everyone in her race is, but she most certainly is.

However, her boyfriend is of the same ethnic background as I am, so I don't entirely understand.

I noticed this with another case as well, where this guy so obviously looked down on those who were not the same race as him, and yet he seemed enamoured by this other girl who is the same race as those he looks down on.

I considered that maybe they are not racist and I have misunderstood them, but that is likely a weak theory as I remember what I remember. So how come these people are only racist to certain people and not all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bigotry in all forms, including racism, has been linked to lower iq. So expecting someone with bigoted views to have intelligent internal logic is a bad idea in general. That said, there are a lot of people that have problems with a group of people as a whole, but don't have problems with actual individuals that may be a part of that greater group. I think it's a nod to the fact that any generalization is a statistical trend, not a certainty. So they may think that 'group X are liars and thieves', but really they understand that means they actually think '85% of group X are liars and thieves', but any given individual could fall within that 15% that are not liars and thieves. So the people they end up liking, they simply view as exceptions to the statistical norms of the group they dislike. It's a self-centred worldview, really, in the sense that they put so much stock in themselves as the centre of the universe that anything that contradicts their opinions is seen as some rare exception that doesn't change their overall view of the whole.

    You see a lot of this with Islam right now. There are 1.6 BILLION Muslims in the world. But a handful of terrorists and suddenly everybody starts saying ALL Muslims are terrorists. Even if there are 1,000,000 Muslims that are so extreme that they would do something like that, it is a tiny, tiny percentage of the whole. Tiny to the point of ridiculousness to paint an entire group with that view. But the notable actions of a minority become the paint used to colour an entire group, and then the members of that group that a person ends up knowing on a personal level become the exceptions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • a lot of racist are actually only racist against their gender.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You expect racists to make sense?

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  • Racist people are usually dumb as fuck so the shit they do really don't add up. Hope that helped.

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  • What makes her racist to begin with? Maybe you did indeed misunderstand her.

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    • She used to act like she's so much better than me, and there's really no reason for that.

      I noticed all of her friends were of the same ethnic background as she was.

      She used to treat me horribly, I can't believe there are people like her out there.

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    • 1. Why? I just met her, I could tell she wanted to attack me.
      2. No, there are tonnes of people of the same ethnic background as I am in the country I live in. I noticed she had no other friends who were even white, let alone other races, (she is Jewish).
      3. From what I've seen of her, she seems like the type who would be really nice to someone if she thought she couldn't get away with being mean. And she knew she could get away with being mean to me, so it makes me wonder if she is racist. Most people who are racist are hateful of people in general, but particularly mean to persons of a certain race, as they know they can treat them badly. At least that's what I've configured myself.

    • 1. And how exactly prevents just having met her from disliking her?

      2. Jewish people are - just like arabs - known to be mostly among themselves. Not necessarily racist, but could be.

      3. "From what I've seen of her, she seems like the type who would be really nice to someone if she thought she couldn't get away with being mean." -> Then she simply is a shit person per se. It's not exactly racist if she is a shit person to many people where she can get away with. It would be racist if she only feels hatred / picks only on a certain ethnicity.

  • maybe she isn't racist in front of him?

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    • But he is her boyfriend, and wouldn't she want someone who she didn't look down on as a partner?

      It's so weird.

  • It isn't racist to acknowledge the truth. And to also recognize what may be true in general is not true on a case by case basis.

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    • What do you mean by acknowledging the truth?

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    • I'm well aware you'd rather take anything that could be perceived as negative about black people and use it to misrepresent me as a racist.

      What I said actually is a fact that can be used to help black people overcome their disadvantaged position.

      If someone has cancer, pretending they don't doesn't heal them. They can call the doctor an asshole all they want, but it doesn't change the fact they have cancer.

    • Perhaps you've been conditioned to react to anything less than idealized fluff as a form of prejudice. Being less coddled might serve you better.

What Girls Said 2

  • Can I ask what race this girl is and her boyfriend? Also, what race you are?

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  • I've never been able to entirely understand this either. I know a woman who was on television for being racist, she had a burning hatred for black people, yet her own child is black.

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