I have just recently reached an age of self-awareness and have realized that I hate how feminine my name is. I would much rather be called something more masculine. I also get offended whenever people refer to me as a “she”; however, I never express my discomfort in this. At a younger age, I didn’t particularly care if I sat with my legs together or if I slouched, and I merely did my hair as a convenience (I used to have long hair, and it got in the way often). Whenever I go clothes shopping with my mother, I always seem to stare at the men’s section with envy, and when I spotted the muscles of my male friend, I was jealous. I have repeatedly voiced my wish that I had been born the opposite gender, as I think my life would be much more enjoyable. At times, my feminine features (i. e. my figure, legs, and breasts) irritate me or cause me mental discomfort. I have also had repeated dreams at night in which I became a male, and when I see myself in the mirror, I am much more comfortable with my facial features if I thought myself as a boy. However, during elementary and middle school, I somewhat enjoyed the sensation of a ponytail, and I foster a moderate care for my complexion. Although my discomfort with my gender has been very recently accumulated (I had minor discomfort in my earlier years), I still wonder. Am I to be considered transgender, or a tomboy?
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly I think only you can define which one of those you feel you are. You may have a bit more soul searching to do until you get there, but you might want to consider speaking to a counselor who specializes in gender identity or join some online groups if you haven't already, for people dealing with similar situations. It may help give you more clarity. There is no rush however. You don't have to figure it all out tomorrow or anything.1