Tick. Tick. Tick
What's that sound?
Oh, it's my biological clock.
I am 29 years old.
I was blessed with a beautiful baby and found out I was pregnant at 22.
I can't help but want another one
I get happy when I see a pregnant woman but can't help but wish that were me.
I don't know if I will ever have another baby because I...
A - Don't want any more permanent changes to my body
B - Waiting until early thirties to excel in my new career.
C - My relationship is on the rocks and has been for a while.
Is it normal to feel an extreme urgency of want? And uncertainity?
I feel bad for not wanting another baby due to superificial reasons.
I am so torn... sigh
Most Helpful Guy
I would say it seems like a completely normal thing to feel this way as a woman, though there seems to be also a cultural aspect involved in this. American women tend to get pregnant much earlier than European women for example. Here in Europe, it's normal for (well-educated) women to have their first baby in their early 30s and their second baby in their mid-30s. Usually, they only start feeling the way you feel if they haven't become pregnant until 36 or 37. So the idea of being "old" in relation to one's biological clock seems to be quite different. As far as I know, most women's biological clock runs out in their early 40s. This means that you don't really have a lot to worry about. You still have a good decade for having another child (though a very large age difference to your first child might admittedly become a problem... but that age difference is already very big now).
I think you should most definitely not have a child if you feel like the moment and the circumstances are currently not good. If you have the luxury of having a planned baby, which doesn't seem to have been the case with your first baby, you should try everything you can to give this baby a great start in life. Being in a rocky relationship is one of the worst things I can imagine for a baby. Not only because it has to go through it with you (my parents also fought a lot when I was a child), but also because little children need stability. Finally, many women unfortunately are incredibly naive about this and make the assumption that a baby can perhaps fix a broken relationship. This is not, I repeat NOT the case. It's in fact more the opposite. Most likely, a second will make things with your partner even harder, particularly if he doesn't want a child anymore or isn't sure about it.
So in short: if you feel like some aspects of your current life don't make for great preconditions to have a baby, don't have one right now. Wait and see what happens in the future and perhaps think about it again in 3-4 years. And if you end up not having good preconditions for a baby in a few years either, maybe just try to tell yourself that having one baby is also nice. I know this sounds easy to say for a guy but believe me, men also have something like a biological clock, only that our instincts have to do with sex, rather reproduction. But they also make some big life decisions (e. x. marrying, settling down, having children) very tricky.0