Was Jesus a zombie?

It just dawned on me that the first zombie was my pal Jesus. That's true yes?

  • Walking holy dead for sure
    30% (3)45% (5)38% (8)Vote
  • No/explain
    40% (4)18% (2)29% (6)Vote
  • Fool Jesus might have existed but he did not come back from any grave
    30% (3)37% (4)33% (7)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Zoroaster rose from the dead before Jesus did, Jesus is zombie #2.

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    • Horus was first no? Jesus is #3!

    • It was Osiris, not Horus, but he was a reassembled corpse, so he was more like the original Frankenstein's monster.

    • Ahh see? This is why I come back to Gag. I'ze be edubecated. Wellz thanks ya good sir thankz ya

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What Guys Said 6

  • No. He wasn't a zombie, he's the main character in a video game.
    Think about it: He has all these powers, is genre savvy enough to out think guys older than him, and he's Dad is the Creator.
    When he died and resurrected, it's more like he died and respawned!!
    lol.

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    • Awesome response :)
      "Final Fantasy Jesus" coming to a Game Stop near you

  • How has no-one thought of this?
    This should be on Reddit lmao.

    In answer to your question: technically yes?

    A zombie is a person who dies and then raises from the dead, after all.

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    • I hope Jesus dislikes the taste of brains :)

  • No no , but he will rise from his grave for the inauguration of the rapture thing.

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    • No but he will come back a third time or second time from the dead or something?

  • He's the son of god/holy revenant not zombie

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    • Yeah ok most of us know that. So God made him a zombie with heavenly powers but not a zombie? I'm not 100% following.

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    • That jerk ruining such influential movies

    • World changing movies for the good of humanity!

  • Now you know why Catholics eat his flesh and drink his blood!

    In the early church they used to just shout, "Brains!" but the PR department convinced them to do a makeover.

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    • I almost spit out my peanut butter and horse jizm sammich this made me laugh so hard.

  • I thought he rose as like a spirit and not a rotting corpse.

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    • Well some ministers say there were over 500 witnesses and something about a huge boulder being magically moved.

    • Maybe it was magic? Some people say they see ghosts. Either way seeing a zombie or a spirit would be scary to me.

    • I bet David Copperfield and David Blaine went back into time with Michael J Fox and are responsible for these shenanigans.

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