- Spanking works and improves behaviorVote A
- Spanking doesn't work increase in bad behaviorVote B
- Spanking des neither good or badVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Spanking works when used correctly.
Before about 5 years of age, children don't have a developed sense of empathy that would allow you to explain to them in words why what they're doing is bad. This is the age where you can tell a child a thousand times not to touch a stove because it's hot and they'll keep going back to it, but if they burn their fingers they learn instantly to stay away. And you have to spank them in the moment that they're doing wrong, not unlike the way rubbing a dog's nose in a puddle of pee is only effective if you catch them in the act, otherwise they don't associate the punishment with the act.
It has to be used deliberately as a tool, not to vent anger. Spanking out of anger causes the child to fear you. You have to tell them that they're going to be spanked if they keep doing what they're doing, and follow through on the promise if they break the rule. THEN you have to follow up the spanking with a clarification of the rule and how they broke it to reinforce the connection between the spanking and the broken rule.
When I say spanking, I mean literally a spanking, not a beating, just a smack on the butt that's startling. The point is not to instill fear and resentment, but to alter behavior.
Needless to say, spanking or beating a child that HAS developed to the point of empathy is vastly counterproductive.0
Most Helpful Girl
My mom only smacked us on the thigh a few times in the heat of the moment. My mom was a no nonsense woman, so being glared at and smacked on the thigh didn't teach me anything about my actions. There was no reasoning. But it did teach me my mom could make my little thighs sting, haha.
And she never used the belt or anything other than her hands on me. And my sister only was beaten with a belt once.
I think I came out fine, as did my sister to say that in in about 20 years combined a belt was only used once and we were rarely touched.
So, I don't plan on spanking my children because I know it's possible to raise good people without it.1