Does spanking work?

  • Spanking works and improves behavior
    28% (8)50% (19)40% (27)Vote
  • Spanking doesn't work increase in bad behavior
    31% (9)34% (13)33% (22)Vote
  • Spanking des neither good or bad
    41% (12)16% (6)27% (18)Vote
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Updates:
U think it would I mean I was only spanked some and I think it changed my behavior my mom used a paddle
I mean lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Spanking works when used correctly.

    Before about 5 years of age, children don't have a developed sense of empathy that would allow you to explain to them in words why what they're doing is bad. This is the age where you can tell a child a thousand times not to touch a stove because it's hot and they'll keep going back to it, but if they burn their fingers they learn instantly to stay away. And you have to spank them in the moment that they're doing wrong, not unlike the way rubbing a dog's nose in a puddle of pee is only effective if you catch them in the act, otherwise they don't associate the punishment with the act.

    It has to be used deliberately as a tool, not to vent anger. Spanking out of anger causes the child to fear you. You have to tell them that they're going to be spanked if they keep doing what they're doing, and follow through on the promise if they break the rule. THEN you have to follow up the spanking with a clarification of the rule and how they broke it to reinforce the connection between the spanking and the broken rule.

    When I say spanking, I mean literally a spanking, not a beating, just a smack on the butt that's startling. The point is not to instill fear and resentment, but to alter behavior.

    Needless to say, spanking or beating a child that HAS developed to the point of empathy is vastly counterproductive.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My mom only smacked us on the thigh a few times in the heat of the moment. My mom was a no nonsense woman, so being glared at and smacked on the thigh didn't teach me anything about my actions. There was no reasoning. But it did teach me my mom could make my little thighs sting, haha.
    And she never used the belt or anything other than her hands on me. And my sister only was beaten with a belt once.

    I think I came out fine, as did my sister to say that in in about 20 years combined a belt was only used once and we were rarely touched.

    So, I don't plan on spanking my children because I know it's possible to raise good people without it.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Spanking CAN work - it can also fail spectacularly. Much has to do with the attitudes of the spanker and spankee. If the spanker is in a rage, then it's not going to be an effective punishment. If the spanker is calm and collected and business-like about it (i. e., the rules were clearly given, and clearly broken, and the punishment earned will be employed), then it can be very effective.

    But it also won't be effective if it's overused. It needs to be an occasional thing for severe punishments in order to be effective, not something you do every day.

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  • "Works" at what, is the automatic follow-on question.

    If you mean "works at demonstrating that short-term effects can be achieved through interpersonal violence," then yes, it does work, as would an adult's hitting another in response to some objectionable behavior.

    Overall though, no, it doesn't work well at all, if the goal is to thoughtfully, productively and lovingly create individuals who are able to reason their way through behaviors and consequences. This conclusion has now been borne out through decades of research, so there's lots of support for violence-free childrearing, if you're interested.

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  • Spanking is an adult telling a child the hard way that the adult cannot educate a child without using violence and that violence is OK to solve problems, even problems between an experienced adult and an inexperienced child.

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  • Ehhhhhhhhhh... If done correctly. Spanking isn't abuse, but it can be. If a child eats dessert before dinner, that probably isn't a reasonable stimulus. But if the child LIES about said rule breaking, and shows repeated behavior, then 1 spank would do it. Why? Because the 1# way to break relationships, trust, and even jobs is lying. My Pop spanked me, but only hard enough to hurt. He'd say before hand: "this is hurting me more than it's hurting you". And that's the truth! After a spanking, he'd leave me alone for a while to cry it out and think about what I did. Afterwards, he'd give me a heart-to-heart, honest talk about why he spanked me. He never wanted to do it, but the reason I am a young man and not a man child is because he taught me how to act like a man, but still enjoy youth. Spanking ONLY works if done right, if done wrong: congrats! You fucked up!

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  • i got spanked and lived... and i never really did anything wrong. i turned out fine. people just need to stop being pussies.

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  • Personally I think spanking would only be a valid punishment if the kid is really oversteping boundaries by far. For example one child beating up the younger really badly.

    Else I am not a fan of it and think it does more harm than good. It is an extreme punishment which is only there for extreme situations to make an appropriate punishment in comparision to the act itself which gets punished.

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  • When i was younger i always used to get spanked and so on. It made me into a good man i would say. I don't do drugs or smoke and barely drink only on occasion. It taught me respect too. I used be a bad little kid always getting in trouble but both my mom and dad straighten me out haha

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  • All I know is when I was spanked and hit I would do it to other kids at school. It just made me more angry and aggressive at everyone around me. Kids deal and learn things differently.

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  • Spanking creates fear but doesn't eliminate the cause, all it creates is distrust and distress

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  • Yes it does not hard though two or 3 is enough

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  • Didn't they ban it because it got a lot of kids into BDSM?

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  • Works for me..

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  • For kids no because I would fight my mom and dad

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  • Spanking works when it hurts... and it did usually.

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  • It can work as long as the child understands why the spanking was done.

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  • The aspect of spanking that works is the assertion of dominance/authority and spanking is about the worst way to do that. Spanking is something you should only resort to in an emergency. As an adult you should be capable of foreseeing contingencies and have a plan of action in place for whatever your child might do so you can assert your authority without resorting to force.

    And by spanking I mean a single smack to the bottom, there is never, ever any excuse for more than that. Systematically inflicting pain on a child is barbaric.

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  • The amount of A votes is disgraceful. I won't be passing down the abusive behavior I received from my parents to my children. I've educated myself and choose to be better. Positive reinforcement is much more healthier AND effective than negative reinforcement.

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  • It's the last resort of shitty, stupid parents.

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  • It works if you use it in a situation where it's appropriate. If they don't respond well to time outs or criticism then yes. It's a last option type of thing. You should try to get them to behave through normal grounding doing chores or time outs first. Then if they still act out or refuse to do their punishment then you spank them. NEVER ever do it out of anger or frustration.

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  • It turns women on in bed, that's for sure

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What Girls Said 5

  • All it did was make me terrified of my dad when I did something bad. It didn't make me behave any better. Fear of a time out or getting something taken away had the same effect on me, but without the physical beating

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  • Spanking can work in the sense that it can make kids stop doing something but only because they'll want to avoid the punishment. It doesn't really teach them why what they did was wrong, it doesn't make them thing about what happened. It makes makes them stop because they're scared.

    But at the same time it's possible that it won't work because kids can get used to it and stop caring. It depends if the kids see the spanking as a real punishment the want to avoid or not.

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  • Wow all 5 voted for each Option. That will help you lol

    I think Spannung might Seen to work on the surface, but i'm also wprried about THW child's psychology and how he will treat his own child when he is all grown up.

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  • You don't need to hit or use violence in order to gain control or the attention your seeking.

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  • Nope and I'm the living example coz I'm still a brat 💁🏻

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