How to become more optimistic and not think so low of myself?

So, long story short, I am a pretty insecure person regarding my appearance, my love life (almost non-existent ), me being able to study in med school etc.
And it all started from my appearance (I usually think all the girls I know are so much prettier and definitely skinnier). it has got to the point where I don't think I am good enough for a guy that I like (speaking in general, though I do have a crush)
, or to deal with med school (which turns out I was wrong, got a 9.5/10 on our first exam :) (bones))

All of my friends, my mom, my cousin even people I just talk to from time to time tell me to stop. And that I should start seeing myself beautiful and thinking positive and everything will slowly turn around, from school to boys to myself. I just can't seem to break this attitude towards me.

Please, I want serious answers, I know it's annoying to complain like this, but maybe you guys have any ideas.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • wow! congrats!!! hehe good job on your exam! :D I know you probably dont wanna hear compliments, but girl! you are super pretty! seriously...
    I've been in your position for so long! and I completely get it, doesn't matter how many people tell you how pretty you are and stuff if you dont believe it yourself. If you dont feel comfortable with your body, work out or something, if you want something, you need to fight for it cuz changes come with hard work. You've already prove yourself that you are able to do awesome things, that grade u got on your exam, damn! haha put yourself more goals, thats a great way to be motivated, thats something that helped me raising my self esteem. Doing that makes you see that you are more than capable of fighting for what you want.
    Something I'd like to point out, DO NOT EVER EVER compare yourself with other girls, that is the worse thing you can do, we are all extremely different and beautiful in our own way. Dont think stuff like "that girl is prettier" there is not such a thing, you are gorgeous and unique.
    Be proud of who you are :)

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    • thank you so much for the advice.. for the compliment too, even though it's hard for me to see it.
      I am trying to change, already started losing weight because that's one of the problems causing my self-esteem to drop, but it's pretty hard.
      I know I shouldn't compare myself to other girls, I just unintentionally do it :( Especially when they like my crush it's like "Why do I even try. It's not like I have a chance. They are so beautiful and I am me" And it's not just the looks, it's the personality. Though people I know told me I'm charismatic, which I don't see it at all!

      Thank you so much, I'll try a little bit every day to get closer to liking myself and make goals I can achieve.:)

    • no problem :) I am glad to hear you are already working on one of your main insecurities! sure is hard, but not impossible.
      the other girls might be beautiful, so are you! sounds like you have a great personality as well! the right guy for you will love the way you are
      Is know is hard to see positive things in ourselves we tend to be so mean lol, but we all have that super cool side! :D

    • Thanks for MHO☺️

What Guys Said 2

  • I have heard that when you're in med school you're so busy it's better to not date, so don't worry about that.

    Insecurity about appearance is hard wired in a woman's brain, I think. You will find men who find you appealing, and those men won't second guess themselves and try to find something to not like about how you look. Even though that's true, I think you'll always have that insecurity; I have never met a woman who didn't have it.

    Concentrate on med school and in a few years, when you're out, you'll be around other doctors and your dating possibilities will be much higher quality.

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    • Actually, we still have time, I just think it's more convenient to date somone from the same university, because some don't really get the fact that we can't always go or want to go out.

      I am already 19 and barely any action.. I know i still have time, but it feels lonely at times. But I don't wanna be with someone I don't like, like just to be with him for the sake of having a relationship.

      Thank you very much for the advice.

  • stare at yourself in the mirror.. seriously. do not pose, do not angle, just look at yourself as you are. stare until you get comfortable with yourself. it might take a few minutes, but it works.

    think of it as seeing your profile view in a photo someone took... or hearing your own voice played back to you... usually it's an ---- "uggh that's me? yuk". that's the reaction when you're not comfortable w/ something. in this case, it's tough to get comfortable w/ either, cuz we're seldom exposed to that 'side' of ourselves.

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    • Thank you, I will try :)

    • Show All
    • Omg YES! It's like "Oh wow! Who is that? "

    • lol yup. it ruins moods.

What Girls Said 1

  • First congrats on passing your exam, and second this is going to very honest wait for it... You are really pretty. You'll find a boyfriend, you'll get into med school and lastly you ARE PRETTY!!! Listen to your family, they are not wrong. :)

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    • Aw thank you. It's not necessarily my face (which I don't necessarily like either), it's that I'm (very honest now) fat. Sure, I started losing weight, but my self esteem is so lowand the fact that I have a huge crush on a guy who is liked by quite a few girls sure doesn't help. lol And really not trying to fish for compliments, just need some help on how to change myself for the better.
      I got into med school already, I just meant that the future exams are going to be hard and I don't think more highly of myself as I should (9.5 for the first exam is not from anywhere lol)
      Thank you so much though, you are so nice!

    • Okay, I see now. Well losing weight is not impossible, hard, but not unachieveable. If that's what's bringing you down, be happy that you can change it :)

    • true. I've already started losing weight, so I'm on the right track :)

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