Do you think people try to "out do" each other in conversations a lot? Like, if something bad/good happened to you, they say something worse/better?

I don't think it's everyone but I especially think girls do it. I feel like it happens in conversations a lot - everything is a competition. I am perfectly willing to acknowledge if your situation is worse than mine but if you become assertive about it, I'm not going to feel bad for you I'm just going to become defensive.

Recent examples (if you don't get what I'm saying) - "eating at school events is hard because they don't have enough vegetarian choices" "it's harder for me because they have nothing vegan"

"my ex and I broke up after being together almost a year and still have classes together and have to see each other" "my ex and I broke up after 2 years and lived in the same building so..."

  • Yes! A lot of people are so competitive!
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  • No I dont know what you're talking about I don't see that
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  • Sometimes it depends on the person
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  • I think I am usually the one trying to compete actually - I NEED TO WIN
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  • I don't understand this question
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm afraid you're right. And a simple solution would be that the person says "yeah I'm afraid I know what you mean, being a vegan I have the same experience trying to get a meal".
    Than you don't accentuate that you're worse off, you just share a mutual problem. And there's a chance to think about possible solutions together :D

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It annoys the fricken piss out of me.

    I had a shit time growing up and a friend of mine also had a shit time (though hers in my opinion is more a shit perspective on her part) and whenever I complain about a new thing my stepmother is doing, even if it has hardly anything to do with me (like buying new mugs for that fucking draw) she would try to up it.

    My Stepmum won't let my younger siblings come up to see me. - me
    Oh, well I've got eight siblings and mum can't leave the house because half of them have brain damage and that's my fault. - her

    Everytime I go to my home town I have to watch my back to make sure my Stepmum isn't right there watching. - me
    Well I used to live in (town) and I had an hours bus ride and my dad used to walk outside naked and we lived on a highway. - her

    Seriously? Can you not let me complain without trying to one up me? I know how many siblings you have. I know how much of an idiot your mum is. I know she doesn't seem to know what a condom is. I know she spends more than she needs to. No, your brothers brain damage is not your fault you weren't even home when it happened. I know how fat your dad is. I know he has brain damage too. I know you hate cars. I know you think your sister is a bitch. I know your tarot cards give you headaches.

    I'm sorry. I really am. But I let you complain in peace, so why can't you let me?

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    • yea I totally get that. it's like she had it "worse" in her opinion so you're not allowed to complain. that's super irritating when people do that.

What Guys Said 4

  • that definitely does happen, but im sure it all depends on the person. I usually just agree with enthusiasm lol.

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  • Sometimes it is out doing, but often it is just trying to add something relevant in their own lives to the conversation.

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  • I think it's because they never grew up.

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  • This happens more than people like to say!

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What Girls Said 3

  • I have a friend who does this! She can't be outdone by anyone, even if people are not trying to compete with her! She just HAS to have something better to say.

    Or if she can't think of anything then she has to challenge what other people say.

    Someone congratulated me on my degree, and she was actually challenging the validity of my credentials! I couldn't believe it. It was obvious she couldn't handle someone having something she didn't have. Basically she said that because she didn't understand what it was, it wasn't valid (what kind of argument is that?)

    With those kinds of people you just have to nod your head and say "oh really?" In my experience it's a ego thing. They need their ego fed by being the most interesting person in the room.

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    • omg I know someone who does the same thing "I don't get it so it doesn't count" gah that's so frustrating I feel for you

    • They definitely try my patience sometimes. I find the best approach is to keep conversation light so there is nothing to 'out do' people with.

  • Lol. Maybe it's a really weird, roundabout way to tell someone to stop feeling sorry for themselves, there's always someone who has it worse?

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    • Haha yea maybe, but always using themselves as the worse is kind of pathetic haha

    • Lol, they're not the heroes we wanted, but they're the heroes we need right now.

  • I think when people say something worse, they are probably trying to make you feel better. If they say something better, maybe depending on the person's personality, they are being condensing.

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