I have a 4 year old with my girlfriend. I was raised tough and if i did something wrong i got yelled at or even hit. Both in learning and just being dumb and doing stupid things, overall i did fear my dad as a child and that set me on a path to not to drugs or join gangs or get in trouble with the law. I don't really hit my son but when he does something he knows he's not suppose to i spank him. My girlfriend hates when i do this and also hates how i yell at him if he does something wrong. MY girlfriend told me many times to stop and be more nice. My girlfriend pust him in timeouts while i spank if he does something bad. Just over the past 5 months i nocted he listen to me more rather than my girlfriend.
Should i continue my method or not? My girlfriend gets mad at me when i yell at him. I can admit and say she knows more about parenting than me but i'm not sure what to do. I also do reward him if he does something good. Both my and girlfriend are 24 (if that has any relevance to this)
Most Helpful Girl
Bringing your child up with fear like that isn't the best thing to do. I agree with your girlfriend when she says to be nicer. My parents were always very laid back and allowed my sisters and I our freedom (to an extent) but were strict and parent-like when necessary so we knew the difference between right and wrong. A punishment I had when I did something wrong was I was to stand with my nose (and nothing else) touching a wall. Nothing was around me and I would stand there for maybe 5 minutes. It's a less severe punishment that kinda forces you to think about what you did because there's no distractions.2
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Most Helpful Guy
I have three kids - one 30 year old daughter... a 27 year old son... and a 15 year old daughter. The two oldest are college grads and have great jobs. No problems ever with law or drugs. No behavioral problems.
I never spanked any of them - neither did their Mom.
My Dad spanked the shit out of me when I was a kid - so did my mom.
I think the spanking stuff is all myth. I don't think it does anything. I mean, if you have a kid that is truly on the way to the prison yard - then maybe spanking him is a favor. But spilling milk on the counter or other minor offenses - not worthy of spanking.
If my kid STOLE something - maybe I would spank them to get their attention.
I just don't think spanking does much. Truth is - I truly believe most of the behavioral problems come in the DNA. I wasn't particularly a great father - because I was frequently gone... but my kids are great. I have three brothers - and that's about 9 other kids and they're all great too. I think my other brothers spanked tho.
But I didn't.
And my kids are great.1