Is it a problem for a girl if I'm "too pure"?

The thing is that I'm 20 years old and I'm waiting till I'm married to have sex, I'm never drinking (due to something that happened in my family in the past), and I'm never trying drugs/cigarettes.

Im not doing these things not because of religion or anything, they're just my decision. I like to have fun, but I don't think that drinking, sex, and drugs are "fun". Okay well I'm sure sex is fun, but hooking up with people I don't love just isn't for me.

Now I know that due to me being the "party pooper" here that my chances of finding a girl are extremely slim, but do you think girls can overlook this?

If i went if I went to a party with a girl, I wouldn't mind if she drank, I just wouldn't partake. Is this a negative quality to have? πŸ˜•

  • Yes, I'm too pure
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  • No, you're perfectly okay
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  • Other πŸ™ƒ
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're perfectly find and sound like my dream guy in all honesty... :)

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    • @XRabbitHeartX aw that's great! You just may be my dream girl then ☺️. Just know that there's a lot of guys out there with the same morals as me and you can find them :)

    • Thanks :)) Yeah I'm also not going to back down from finding a guy who is similar with morals. It's going to be so worth the wait in the long run.

    • @XRabbitHeartX yes! I completely agree! All of those nights where I've stayed up late wondering if she's out there and all of the times where a girl has broken my heart will suddenly vanish once I look into the eyes of the girl who is meant for me.. and conversely. I'd trade any amount of time for that 😍

What Girls Said 8

  • The comment you made about your "chances of finding a girl" being "extremely slim" is very exaggerated and, to be honest, over-dramatic. Just because you're not partaking in casual sex and puking the next morning with a hangover does not mean you're destined to be at the bottom of everyone's list.

    In fact, I must say that everything above actually has no relevance to dating. If some girl wants a drinking-buddy, then that is fine; she clearly is not the one for you. But the majority of women, and friends in general (males, included), do not care if you accompany them for a cigarette or not. Everyone needs a safe driver, everyone needs a good friend, everyone needs someone similar to them, and everyone needs someone who is the complete, utter opposite.

    The only way that your concerns would become valid is if your claim of being a "party pooper" turns into you actually believing it. You can be fun without alcohol, but if you yourself believe otherwise, then very few people will be able to sit with you in the corner and try to convince you otherwise.

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  • I don't think any of your qualities related to being 'pure' are negative at all.
    Your not drinking wouldn't bother me. I don't drink much, and as long as you wouldn't have a problem with it, then it's fine by me if you choose to not partake in it.

    The sex thing though... I can't see that working, the whole waiting till marriage. Sex is pretty important to me, making sure I have good sexual chemistry with a guy before we tie the knot. Some girls are out there who have different opinions on that though, and could overlook it so don't give up just yet.

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    • Well sex is really important to me as well. I've just always imagined me being in love and married to my dream girl and experiencing it all with her for the first time.

      I don't mind other sexual things though.. Can you not get a jist of how well someone can be in bed without actually partaking in the act?

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    • Yeah I understand your point of view. I just can't overlook the fact of having sex with someone who isn't definitely the love of my life.

      I'm not sure if you'll understand how my mind works, but I also feel like I'd disrespect the girl if I had sex with her because I'd want her first time to be special. Side note, I thought I would marry my ex one day. We were so perfect for eachother until distance got in the way of us. But one night, she said "I would have no regrets if we did it tonight". I had to tell her no because we're young and though I wanted to marry her in the future, I still wanted her first time to be perfect and I didn't want her to have any regrets.

      Seeing that you've done it, you may crave it more. For me, I have no idea so I don't necessarily "crave it" badly. I do respect your opinion though and thank you very much for it!

    • ah yes, you're definitely right on how I want it more now after having it for the first time. Before that, I was pretty indifferent. Your approach makes perfect sense too, and I'm sure you'll be able to find a girl who shares the same views as yourself.
      Good luck. :)

  • You, sir, sound like my kind of people.

    Will most girls agree with me? No, probably not. But what does it matter?

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    • I'm glad people out there like you exist :) thank you for your opinion!

  • I guess it depends.. The alcohol and drugs etc are not at all too pure, most girls prefer a guy who looks after himself and is healthy! However, the no sex before marriage I don't believe in. Your not doing anyone any harm with this.. I think before marrying someone you should know all there is to know about them before making a commitment to spending the rest of your life with them. That includes how sexually compatable you are. Sex is an important part of any relationship and I believe its okay to experiment/make love to someone who you trust and care for without being married.

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  • I would absolutely love to get to know someone like you. You sound like me ;) and everyone tells me I'm sheltered... It's like.. From drinking and sex and altering my brain chemicals? Okay.. -_-

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    • Lol I'd rather be sheltered than not remember where I was last night 😄. I'm glad there's people out there like you 😍

  • Thats ideal for me; i'm waiting and I don't do any of those things either (then again I am religious)

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  • I don't want to wait until marriage for sex. I'm just waiting for a loving trusting relationship. So yeah that wouldn't be good for me.
    Not drinking or doing drugs, that's fine by me.
    I drink rarely, and occasionally smoke weed, but those are things I can very easily do without.

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  • You remind me so much of me haha people think it's weird cuz on top of all that I don't curse either so people tend to look at me like a little sister like the picture of innocence i guess but i think it's a positive quality tbh

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What Guys Said 10

  • Sounds a lot like me.

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  • You're too pure because you are significantly reducing your dating pool by "waiting until marriage".

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  • Allen Iversion skipped practice because he was probably practicing all night the night before. No girl wants a guy who doesn't know his way. Unless you are confident about it and simply ask her for her input your first time.

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  • Waiting until marriage is hypocritical to me, but I don't drink (not allowed under 16 but most friends do it anyway and I would if I wanted to, I just don't) and I don't see an issue with that.

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    • Why's it hypocritical to you?

    • I'm not religious, I don't think there is a real meaning of life, we just live and die, and the reason we live is to carry on the data that we store, our DNA. We basically exist to procreate. There is so much more you can do with your life, we get to do so much in our Β±80 years, but it's the reason why we exist, and it's a basic human thing to have sex. We get urged to do it for a reason. Being with one partner your entire life isn't really natural, almost no other animals do it. Not saying you should cheat or go have sex with any willing person on the street, but you're witholding yourself from something that you can get pleasure from, I just don't see why because you get nothing from it, but that's my opinion.

  • You are not too pure.. you have sex with your hand , don't you?

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    • I don't think a girl cares if I masterbate or not. I'm not saying I'm like "a god walking this earth", I'm just saying in the sense of drugs, sex, and alcohol

  • She might tease you but that's about it

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  • Too pure is almost saint like bruh. You sure?

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  • What you listed are qualities most women will eventually desire in a man to marry. Unfortunately if you don't have the other qualities (good looks/personality, confidence, money/security) it won't matter much.

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    • Oh don't listen to this bs

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    • I guess I can see this being necessary for a 25-30 year old girl. By that time she's probably needing and wanting a guy to settle down with. I'm only 20 and don't have much experience, so I could be wrong

    • Yeah college girls generally don't know what they want, but mid 20s to 30 years the woman either a) has a career already and expects a higher standard of man, or b) got knocked up and had a kid so she really can't affor to deal with anything less than a guy who has his act together.

  • Women will find that more attractive.

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    • You really think so? Have you learned this first hand?

    • I've asked before, and the pure woman it seems like you would want to marry would like that.

    • Oh okay thank you for letting me know. When you say "pure woman", I don't mind if she drinks.. And her having sex in the past MAY be okay with me. I was just trying to clear up that she doesn't have to have the same thoughts as me on these things. I just didn't know if it was okay for her if I didn't do these things mentioned

  • Not a problem

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