I want to take a knife and scar my face?

I'm just so fucking sick of feeling like I'm ugly, I can't stand it anymore. I go on the trains in the morning, hell, if I go out in general, if I turn my head in the direction of a girl, if I'm not even looking at her, she looks completely disgusted. It's driving me fucking insane. For a long time, my looks were the only thing I took pride in, but now, now I can't stand my appearance. I utterly hate how I look. I feel like just an ugly looking black guy, with disgusting pale skin. And, to make matters worse, almost everyone else in my family either is attractive, or was at my age, including my parents. I've tried everything, shaving, changing my hairstyle, getting rid of my acne, hell, I've even tried exercising, but nothing works, I still get the looks of disgust and I still utterly hate what I see in the mirror. I try using my hoodies to conceal my face, but, they can only conceal so much. I was considering, perhaps I can get really drunk, get a big knife, and start slashing myself across the face? You see, then I won't be ugly anymore. What I mean is, with the scars, the scars will be the ugly part of my face, while the rest of my face would just be normal. That or I can get a lighter and burn my face. Either way, my scars would be the ugly part, and, they aren't genetic, they're just that, scars, then I'd be ugly forever, but I'd also never be ugly.


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What Girls Said 1

  • i don't think it is a good idea. even if you do so, you won't end up loving your face. i say maybe you should simply embrace your ugliness. i did, and it worked for me. i would walk with my head help up high and i would look at the world with fierce eyes. i would look at my face and then i would say 'i don't mind this face' and i would walk the way i want. some people still gave me disgusting looks, but i would stay in the same place. this world is not only for them, i am part of this world as well. the streets aren't for them, they are for all of us. the school isn't for them, they are for all of us. then i realized that, what the heck, i have the right to live if ugly or not. i am not this good at school, and i am not this beautiful. i might exist simply to read. i don't mind this, it is fun for me. life is too short. why should i worry about something and not let it make me live? i still have many good things in me. i am nice to people, and i like to help. and i did make few friends with my personality.
    by the way, i struggle with anxiety. and i am getting rid of it slowly

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What Guys Said 1

  • No, you would just be ugly, and have a bunch of self-inflicted scars on your face that would mean you have an unstable personality that cannot be trusted as you are a liability to both yourself and others.

    What helps is realizing that you are most likely not as unattractive as you think; what's unattractive is self-deprecation.

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