Basically, two years ago, I was diagnosed with major depression, made sense, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, all that. However, now that I've been reading symptoms about it, I'm beginning to think I might have BPD. All of my emotions are extremely intense, for instance, when I'm happy I'm more similar to the manic phase for bipolar people, and can switch moods very swiftly. Like, when I love people, for instance, it is very obsessive, like, the girl I liked most of any in my entire life, I practically worshipped, to the point that I was suicidal for months after I realized she'd never like me. When I'm afraid I'm usually extremely paranoid. And when I'm angry it's almost always either a violent rage, or cold ruthlessness.
Not to mention, I'm extremely obsessed with my appearance. I'll get suicidal if I don't think I'm attractive, to the point that I'll consider disfiguring myself. I also spend a lot of time trying my hardest to look really good. I'm not impulsive with drugs, sex, or alcohol, but, I think that's because I don't have a ready access to any of them, when I do have access I'm very impulsive. I also have major abandonment issues, I think people will leave me to be alone forever, so I frequently cycle through hating and loving my friends. While I don't cut much, when I'm losing it really badly, and don't have my meds, I'll cut myself to calm down. And, my issues ended up killing a lot of my ability to empathize. These days, my constant emotional overload is killing my emotions, almost like I've begun to subconsciously switch my emotions off, especially during stressful situations.
Does it sound like BPD or just extreme depression? For more info, I'm 17, never had a girlfriend, have a good relationship with my parents, but have always faced social isolation from other kids.
Most Helpful Girl
I honestly can't say. Self-diagnosis or going to people over the internet is never a good idea. I would talk to your parents and ask to see a doctor or therapist/psychiatrist who could help you. You might have either one of those, but we can't really tell you accurately.0
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