Parents are divorcing, no one feels like talking to me due to lack of social skills thanks to lifelong bullying. I don''t know what to do, i am getting very depressed and want to break this negative circle, but i just currently have nothing to live for, no purpose, no relation. Nothing.
I don't even know what i expect to gain from typing this, i guess nothing
Most Helpful Girl
My life was very similar to what you described a few years ago. I wasn't bullied but I was abused and as a result I'm extremely withdrawn and self-conscious. My parents divorced right before I left for college, and when I got there I was so depressed I could barely leave my room for class, much less socializing. So I went basically then entire year without any friends. And it was just straight up awful. I actually ended up attempting suicide and afterwards, was put into a partial-hospitialization program that was basically just group therapy all day. I started taking anti-depressants and getting regular therapy, changed my diet, etc.
Most social support I found online anonymously like from Reddit and stuff. I felt like I couldn't take my depression anymore, every single day. Literally, everyday I felt like I had no other option than to kill myself. Somehow... I managed to get through two years of that. Honestly it was nothing more than blind faith that kept me going. You need to have hope for a better future. I promise there is one waiting for you. Use this time to learn about yourself and what you need to make yourself happy. I would have never become interested in Psychology if it weren't for my experience, which is now my major in college and what I aspire to pursue professionally. I never would have met two of my best friends (from group therapy) if it weren't for all the negative stuff. There are so many things in my life that I love, and owe exclusively to all the negative shit I went through the past few years. And to be perfectly honest, as miserable and horrible those years were, I wouldn't change a thing. Because it was necessary for me to go through it in order to have the life I have today. I wouldn't say I'm over it, but I am so, so, so much better off than I was. My point is that, while you may not see it now, there is something good that will come out of these circumstances. Trust me. Seek treatment like therapy and put yourself out there. Social situations scare the shit out of me to this day, but I've learned to accept feeling uncomfortable. It's okay to have negative emotions. You can succeed in all areas of life in spite of whatever personal circumstances - use this time in your life as motivation to achieve a better life for yourself.1
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Most Helpful Guy
Hey man, it's a bummer that you're going through this rough time.
The fact that you want to break the negative cycle is a good first step... you recognize that there's a problem, and you have the desire to make things better. Kudos to you for that.
Being bullied sucks, and I'm sure it's left its mark on you, but remember the the past is the past, right now is where you are right now, and the future is where you're headed. The future is NOT your past.
Social skills can be learned and developed, it's not one of those where you either have it or you don't. There are TONS of books out there that teach social skills. I HIGHLY recommend you find a copy of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's been around for decades and is a very powerful book, you can get it on audiobook as well and I'm sure there are. PDF copies online or ways to get the audio for free. (Audible. com offers a free trial and a free book, you could get it that way if you like the idea of listening to it).
Another book that might be helpful is a book called "F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way" by a guy named John Parkin. It's a humorous book (if you couldn't tell from the title) but very helpful and full of wisdom. Here's a quick video about it: https://youtu.be/YtJr5ZpHe8s
Do you have any hobbies? Are you in to music at all? How bout exercise or physical activity?
Getting out and going for a long walk to get fresh air, clear your head, and get away from the negative energy at home is great when you're feeling down and depressed. As a bonus, you can listen to audiobook while you walk.
Know that life does get better... Things are always changing (and always will), so even though life sucks right now, there can and will be better times ahead. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep your head above water, and try to work on yourself a little bit every day. Over time the transformation will happen, your past will feel like it was so long ago and you will feel like a whole new person.
I'm happy to chat or just listen if you need to vent or want to talk about anything.
You can and will get through this dude...
*Big over-the-internet hug*0