I'm a 20 year old who is in college and lives at home without a job. Why do girls see this as "unattractive"?

The thing is that I live at home because I go to a community college. I'm actually embarrassed to say that, but I always have to include that I'm going to be transferring to one of the top tech colleges in the US.

I don't work because I focus solely on my schoolwork. I do work during the summer though.

I've noticed in real life that this is seen as "unattractive". I've also read on a forum here that "a girl can live at home with her parents and be jobless, but it's not right for the man to be living at home and jobless."

Why is this true?

Is this really true?

  • It does make you unattractive (explain)
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  • It doesn't make you unattractive (explain)
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  • Other (explain)
    24% (4)20% (2)22% (6)Vote
  • I just want to know the answers
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not unattractive at all :) Sounds smart to me, save the money and spend time at home with your folks. I guess in American culture there's a good amount of emphasis on when you're 18, you're independent and should be forced to be as independent as possible so negative stereotypes are especially made against guys who live at home ("video gamer who lives in parent's basement"). I think the stereotypes are silly though. Don't worry about it too much. Everything you said above sounds legit, and I can't imagine most nice girls turning it against you when it comes down to it.

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What Girls Said 7

  • It doesn't make you unattractive ! I am in the same position! I kinda of hate it so to have someone like me is good.

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  • It doesn't make you unattractive. Many people are still in school without a part time job so they can focus on their studies and not fail out. It's not like you're just lazing about, you're actually trying to do something that'll help increase your chances at a better life in the future. Maybe the chicks you're trying to go out with are the issue. o. o

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  • i dont think its unattractive, but men are the "provider" so if you can't provide then its kind of a deal breaker. even if its just dating, its really impoortant for some people to want to be able to depend on a guy. plus if you have no job, youhave no money so how are u supposed to date her? and what if she wants to have sex, you dont have a spot you can do it.
    its not unattractive, but there are some things that just make it a turn off i guess.

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    • Ah. Well I do have a lot of money saved up. My parents provide for me, but I was able to fully provide for my ex for well over a year.

      I'm saving myself for marriage, so I know that's a problem with a large amount of women.

      I guess I'm just all around a "turn off" for most women and that's okay

    • You aren't a turn off, you're just waiting for what you deserve. Be glad that most of these women find you a turn off. That just means you'll have a real kick ass lady here soon, and you'll be thankful you didn't have a chance with the majority of these basic girls. I promise

  • I don't understand why at this age people are expected to leave home? Must be a cultural thing I guess? I live in South America and here you're only really expected to leave home when you get married. I don't see living at home as 'unattractive' at all, you're still very young, you don't have an income to fully support yourself living alone, so that's understandable. As long as you aren't just laying around not doing anything with your life I don't see how that is a problem.

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  • I don't think its unattractive, there's just this belief that if a guy lives with his parents then its unattractive. But if you're in college and have a job and are trying to make something of yourself then its a really positive thing. It would only be negative if you were being a bum and living off your parents and had no goals in life.

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  • From what I've read, if a chick really took the time out to get to know you, she wouldn't find u unattractive at all. :)

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    • Thank you. at least somebody understands :)

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    • Are you in a community college as well?

    • Yes, in fact I am. :3

  • Men are looked at as "providers" and if your parents are still providing for you it doesn't make a relationship with you seem promising.

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    • Ah so no matter what kind of person I am, it all comes down to if I can provide material things for a girl. I can love a girl more-so than anyone else, but hey, my parents still provide for me because I'm in college so that makes a girl say "ew I don't want him."

      It's not like I'm broke. It's not like I never work. I mentioned I work during the summer and that pays pretty well. It's not like I'm a lazy bum. I'm an engineering major who is studying hard to get into a prestigious school. Oh, but I rely on my parents right now. Perspective helps.

    • It isn't just about material things, a good girl will be looking at it in a different perspective. Like well, would he be able to pride for a family. What's holding him back from getting his own place? What is he waiting for? Is he the type to not spend money because he's scared it'll fall through or is he cheap and all we will ever do is sit at home and be bored and the. Have kids and be bored then also. It doesn't have to be all about material things. But unfortunately, some girls do have the mind set of the material things.

      To me, it is a smart decision. Wish I would've done it a little longer. I just like being hard headed and independent. and it's caused me to grow up sooner, but also caused a lot of falling flat on my face. So stay with your parents and wait for the right girl to come along and understand your situation.

    • Because if you can't find a girl who is content with your situation at the moment, whether it be that you're broke, rich, homeless, living with parents or having your own place, you'll never be good enough for her. Find someone who can adapt and be content in any situation. Being content is being happy.

What Guys Said 6

  • Nah it's just immature people at play. Some might think you're lazy, since you're not working, but whatever. I work and I'm in a college and it sucks. For some reason girls think that means I have money and get annoyed when I point out most of it goes to tuition, food, glasses, phone bill, and saving up for a car so I typically only have between $10 and $1 to last me two weeks. Generally I have $5, a full $10 and I'm excited!

    But people may think at your age you should be working. It might make you look lazy, but not unattractive.

    Seriously, though, good going to community college first. I should have done THAT first instead of diving right into uni..

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  • Get dat dere degree and get that dere financial gainz. You're good bro! We are all going to make it!

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  • depends on their age.

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  • Its your personal choice, and I don't see it as unattractive. Your in college, and in a way, its like a job since you have to work at studying.
    You will find the right girl, it will just take time to find the right one.

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  • there's a lot of students that don't work during the school year as well (i sure as hell didn't and most of the people i know don't/didn't)... bruh, are you sure you aren't just ugly? :|

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    • Lol maybe man.. Maybe. That's me in my profile pic.. ( I know it's kind of a gay picture haha)

    • i've seen worse. but it's a weird angle so i may be wrong, haha! but i go in expecting to basically get rejected. it hurts less.

    • haha your opinion made me change my pic 😂. Thanks for the honesty.. And I do the same.. When I do approach a girl lol

  • It's unattractive because you don't have money. It all goes back to money, because money shows independence. You're dependent on your parents which is unattractive (men are supposed to be independent so women can depend on them). You live there, you're fed and clothed by your parents. Functionally you're like a child in the eyes of a woman.

    If you're going to transfer to a prestigious tech school, hopefully you'll get a good job and only when you start living on your own resources will woman see you as attractive.

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    • I mean I do have money because I save and don't spend it on stupid unnecessary things. I also work during the summer as I said.

      I understand it can be unattractive if I were in your age range, but as a 20 year old, isn't it common and actually smarter in the long run?

    • Well if you can make enough money to provide for her on dates and stuff you'll be okay. If that counts as "stupid and unnecessary things" you may have a problem.

      Even at your age people are expected to have a job, I started working at 16 to provide for myself. Some of it I saved but a lot of it I spent on clothes and movies, basically recreation money cause my parents could not afford it for me. I worked part time throughout college. But as long as you are financially independent enough to provide for yourself and a woman, you have a good a shot as anybody else.

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