Anyone got any good sarcastic comebacks during an argument with someone?
What Guys Said 10
Interrupting him "Hey did you know you look like John Wayne... Gacy."
"See kids this is why you should stay in school."
"Look I'm sorry your goat ran away but it doesn't mean you can Fuck with me."2
You have reached the sarcasm hotline.
1. If everyone was as smart as you, we still be in the dark ages.
2. That's great (sarcasm)
3. What genius did (followed by something somebody did incredibility stupid).
4. (in a condescending tone.) I'd love to stay but I got a family and diner to get to. I'm sorry.
5. Ugly is want ugly does. (followed by airing out somebodies "dirty landry".
6. Mocking bad spelling and grammar with bad spelling and grammar.4
Your ass must be jealous from the shit coming out of your mouth.
You should wipe your boobs with toilet paper. It worked wonders on your ass.4
I know you are but what am I.
I'm rubber, your glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
Just a few that came to mind.1
If he complains tell him to "build a bridge and get over it!"
Or when he talks to you pretend you're playing the violin to his sob story.1
Umm, that depends on what the argument is about and what the other person said?0
"Don't worry, I'm not as dumb as you look"1
You can't be like one size fits all. No, forget that. Fuck off always works.0
What Girls Said 9
In real life? Nah, not really. I might get maybe one or two punches in but if I'm actually angry, then my anger clouds the witty part of my brain. Online it's much easier because you get a while to think of something witty to say. And usually I'm not really angered by anything online, except sheer stupidity and arrogance.1
Look at them with confused look and shake your head.1
Well sweet mother Teresa on the hood of Mercedes Benz. If I would grow up to be as dumb as you, I'd wish my mom was dead so she doesn't have to see me. 😂😂😂1
After reading your mh comments above, I think you should contact the police for them to have a word or if you are renting let the owner know.1
I literally just say "sit down" if someone is being a dick in an argument.2
Get a straw and suck it up, build a bridge and get over it, get a pack of cards and deal with it.
My friend said this to me the other day and I thought it was hilarious.0
Were you born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen
No offence but if you was on fire and I had a glass of water I drink the water
Not saying I hate you or anything but if you got hit by a bus I'll be the one driving it0
Yeah, I am having a conversation with you because I really give a crap abut your opinion.0
Well I have turned some offensive neighbors into good friends
it takes time
they weren't knife-dangerous
When they don't smile I smile & wave until someday... they return the gestures.
When they need something - even though they won't explain or work with me - I give in, then watch how they handle it, appreciate it, then become disarmed enough to listen to WHY I can't control "my transgressions" and need their help.
The goal is to get them involved in "our solution" to get him what he needs and through that process I learn what IS REALLY bugging him, the root of it all. working on THAT takes puts the spotlight where it belongs, not on me.
So train the kids in overly respect for this neighbor, bring him gifts to see what is appreciated. Some of these scary people in our lives are best suited to defend us, once turned into a friend. The police can do only so much, neighbors ignore them then eventually return to bad habits... and worse since you got them "in trouble". Sarcasm is best served as humor among good friends; this guy already thinks you are invading his peace, throwing "more rocks" makes it... better or worse? Think about it.
We never know what another is going through. This guy feels assaulted by someone or something so great, he feels the world is against him and he is drowning, saved only by his tiny refuge/fort. He is going crazy and must pass the horrors placed on him... on to others "deserving" = less status than him that are also poking him. He needs a friend as much as you need a helpful neighbor.
Work on these thoughts instead of sarcasm (I'm the best at the latter) and you will win peace, harmony instead of escalating a war. Become someone IMPORTANT in his life, a family he would not want to give up as neighbors!0
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