Have an opinion?
Let her alone and move on
You're completely right. the more I tried to make things work, the worse everything got. I just want her to be happy. I feel really bad that I can't hang out with her anymore every time I see her, but there's not really anything that I could do to change her mind. I can't stop her from seeing other guys and I can't tell her not to, the reality is that she will see other guys and I have to accept it now as much as it hurts me. I've been avoiding her all semester to stay out of trouble. Not knowing anything is the best solution that I found helped me control my pain and let me live peacefully up to this point.
To move on takes time, but letting her go and not having contact with her more will help you forget. But it takes time, do other things that might help you forget and you will move on.
I have been. I mean there's not really much I can do. we were really close friends. I wanted to have more than a friendship with her and as soon as I tried expressing my feelings to her, she got mad and turned her back on me. I tried apologizing for telling her my feelings and she didn't want to hear it that's why I sent her two emails before I approached her just to make sure that she got my message. I apologized already and everything is over, she doesn't want to be friends anymore and she doesn't want to see me; so I avoid every place I know she'll be. The problem I'm having is that every time I see her I get a really bad feeling in my gut and my head hurts a little, because I want to keep seeing her and hanging out with her even though she doesn't want a relationship and now I can't. We go to the same college.
I asked her a really dumb question one morning that kicked all this off "Are you tired of seeing me?" that's what started all of this and she said "no it's not that"-"you're making it seem like I'm making you suffer". She knew I was suffering inside, because she could see right through me. The summer passed I wanted to go out with her over the summer and nothing happened. I missed her for a really long time, since May and I was really depressed. I wanted to be the guy in her life to make her happy, but it's fine. Everything happens for a reason. I did admit to her that I was suffering inside, because I missed her so much that I couldn't handle what I was feeling anymore. She never wanted a relationship with me, she just wanted to be friends and it was hard for me to accept that, so I kept pushing it until she ended our friendship. I knew eventually it would happen. Now I wish I could fix it, but I can't.
How long was it since you guys stopped talking? Did you tell her that you needed your time or was it her? Or you guys basically got into an argument and stop talking.
It wasn't really much of an argument. I never cursed her out or treated her badly. When she was mad, I was really calm and I just wanted to talk to her; but she kept walking away from me, because I think she was scared that I would get really angry and blow up. I'm a really passive guy, I was never mad at her and I never hated her. I think she just lost interest in me and got tired of me telling her the same thing over and over again. The last time we stopped talking was on a Tuesday in September. She ended our friendship, because she thought that she was making me suffer, but the reality was that I was suffering emotionally by myself all summer up to the point that I saw her and she didn't really have anything to do with that. It was on me, because I wanted to have beautiful relationship with her that I can't have at all now. I'm stuck in a bad position. I can't try to approach her anymore, because I might get into trouble if she accuses me of something.
I don't think that she was ready for a serious relationship, so she's running from me now. She exaggeratted the whole situation and took it to a level I never wanted it to go to. We used to get coffee together, sit really close together and even eat together. Now I see her rarely. I can't try to look for her, because she might make a scene that could get me into problems. You know how colleges are these days. I still have her cell phone number, but it's really risky if I start texting her again after so long. I don't want to get in trouble over anything. I never really did anything wrong.
I saw her with another guy anyways, so I don't think it's worth trying to change anything now. I don't want to go down a path that leads me to problems; so I try to avoid everything the best way that I could now. She made it completely clear that she didn't want a relationship. I couldn't even hug her for the last time. That hit me hard.
So, you still like. You see her around campus, you can say hi only once in a while. If she responds positive, she might still like as a friend. But if she responds negative, you know is not worth it. But you have to sure yourself again. Or you can just leave her leave.
I wish I could fix everything, but it's a tough situation. Thanks for your advice, but I have a feeling I'll never be able to gain her trust again. She just doesn't want to see me. I can always say hi though, maybe it'll ease the tension that was created in the past. I still have to move on and find someone else to be with. She made it really clear that she never wanted a relationship with me and that really hurt me bad, but I feel a lot better than what I was before. I can sleep at night, I don't worry about things so much anymore and I think about everything I do now. There's just many things in life that a guy can't control. I learned to adjust to how I'm living now. I was always alone and never had one single relationship in my lifetime. The thing is that I found out how beautiful love is and I really want someone special to give my love to. It's gonna take me some time to square away again.
You will do fine, if you say hi maybe their might break down the argument from the past. The relationship issue might be a way of her saying that she has to focus on her life first. And maybe she doesn't want any relationships. You guys were friends, and maybe she didn't want to destroyed that relationship between you two by having one of you liking each other. And that is tough.
She unfriended me from face book and she doesn't want to see me anymore. I've been avoiding her all semester, because I don't want to get accused of anything. If I keep trying to approach her or see her, things might turn out ugly. The last time I tried to apologize to her, she got mad and took her stuff with her and basically darted out to her male friends, which are foreign exchange students from Saudi Arabia. He asked me "why do I keep following her?" and I told him that I wasn't following her, I was trying to apologize because her best friend would not tell her what I was trying to get across to her. Then he said "you know she could call the police right?" and I said yes; after that exaggerated incident, she unfriended me from facebook. I cut off all contact with her by deleting my facebook and my instagram account permanently, because I didn't want to know anything at all. I was hurt that she turned on me the way that she did. If I approach her now, it's unpredictable what might o
She wasn't worth it. I tried everything I could to try to fix things, but there's too many people involved and the guy already approached me by the end of the semester and told me to "dead it" whatever that means. He's most likely telling me to forget about her in a rude way. I can't and will not fight for a girl that does not care about me. My hands are tied. Hopefully my spring semester in 2016 this year which starts in another two weeks won't be so bad.
That friend she was spending time with came up to me and told me that he was her boyfriend. She told me that she didn't have one. That explains why she was running from me when I tried to fix things. She never told me anything about him and he never knew anything about me. I just can't trust a girl like that anymore or her friends. I've always been upfront with her and she was always hiding things from me. I wish she was just more upfront with me. She just played with my feelings and left me for another guy. She never took responsibility for all the pain that she caused to me emotionally. I don't care though, the only thing that matters to me is that I made it out without any problems. I passed all of my classes despite all the harsh and lonely memories that I have and the future is still coming. I'm only 21, In June I turn 22 and still no relationship at all. Everybody told me that she's a thot, but I really did love her and tried everything I could to tell her my feelings.
Be the first guy to share an opinion and earn 1 more Xper point!
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.
Also close this question