I'm under 21 but I've been struggling with alcoholism for almost two years (I'm 20, not 18 like it says). I know it's my fault but I was having trouble coping with my abusive parents and other problems now I'd rather not go into. It wasn't a big problem for a while, I felt better. Less uncomfortable around people, sure of myself, almost invincible at first. After awhile however it started to overtake my life and I just started to drink because I felt the urge to. I started to get angry, depressed, paranoid and ruined most of my relationships with my friends and family and I couldn't hold a job.
I hid my drinking from my girlfriend for a long time. She knew I drank a lot on the weekends but didn't realize it was an everyday thing. She started to figure it out when I started lashing out at her for no reason and then apologizing profusely. I stopped trusting her and often accused of things even I knew were irrational. I realized I was losing her and promised I'd quit, a lot, but I'd always break. She stayed with me for a while but I may have ruined things last night. She got a ride home from a guy and when I learned it was a guy I went off and just abused her verbally. I realized as I was saying it I was effectively ruining my relationship but I just felt so out of control (again I know it's all my fault). I begged her forgivness as I usually do but she's just been ignoring me. I think I ruined everything, but even if I didn't I want to change for good this time. I want to show her AND myself I can do this, plus I need to break this habit before I go into the military and have to suffer withdrawal during basic training.
I haven't been on this website long but I feel a part of this community and think the people here are genuine and caring even though it's somewhat anonymous. I'm begging you, I need some advice from anyone that might know. I can't go to rehab, take classes or join AA because that will fuck up my military opporitunities. I just need to know, what the hell can I do because I'm desperate.
Most Helpful Girl
Number one: leave home. An abusive and stressful environment is not helping in the slightest. If you're being abused go to an authority figure or since you're 18 maybe find friends, family members or even see if there's any way you can get some temporary housing.
Second, try and get a support group. Rally together the friends you still have, whatever family will support you, and go to them if you have problems.
Third, try and channel your feelings into other things. Since you're going into the military maybe try focusing on athletic activities such as running or going to the gym.
How are you getting the alcohol?0
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Most Helpful Guy
When you're going to drink, make sure you have something that will remind you of wanting to quit and that if you kept drinking, it will never stop. Ask your girlfriend for help will be good, I am sure she'll be willing to help you. FYI I didn't read all of them, just read the title and ur update and a bit of the content, but it just literally goes down to being addicted to something which kinda have a similar solution to everything about addicted. You just need to be strong at pushing yourself apart from it and make sure it is very inconvenience for you to get to it.0