Did I lead him on?

So i invited a friend from tinder to my apartment. We have known each other for about a year or so and we have been hanging out. We went to a bar and had some drinks. I pretended to drink because i don't drink but I didn't want to seem lame so when he wasn't looking I poured the drink out. Anyways... we went back to my apartment and started kissing and making out. I notice that he is getting really tense and sort of forceful so I pull away. I told him what was wrong and he was like "I will try to be more gentle". We start kissing again and he starts getting forceful again and I couldnt move so I try to push him away with my hands. He grabs my hands so i can't move and i am freaking out in my mind because i don't know what to do. He kept assaulting me and trying to take my clothes off. Long story short my brother came to my apartment out of nowhere and heard me screaming and got the guy off me and kicked him out. I was freaking out because that never happened to me before. Was it my fault? Did i lead him on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You absolutely did not lead him on. You told him to slow down when things progressed past kissing. You gave him a boundary. He did not respect it. That's not you fault. At all. It was 110% HIS choice and HIS fault.

    Have you talked to a sexual assault counselor about this at all?


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  • Inviting him to your place after drinks suggests sex. Him being forceful is his fault not yours. You and he both have the right to say no at any time if the other persists or becomes forceful then they are way out of line. Definitely not your fault just be more cautious please. Thankfully your brother was there to help you out of what could have been traumatic

  • Yes you did lead him on. Imagine if a guy invited you to his place after drinks, you would assume he wants sex.

    It is not your fault. He should not have been forceful. Most men would have been better behaved.

    Be more careful next time.