Asking pro choice people only?

should men be allowed to opt out of childsupport if they dont want the women to have the baby? should men have body autonomy too or should men be forced into slave labor for a womens decision to have a baby?

Updates:
just for consistency for all those that think men should have to pay child support do you also think abortion should be illegal or are men only held responsible for their decision to have sex?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh yeah slave labor right... Because that's exactly like what paying for child support is. Listen, if a woman is going to keep that child she is going to be paying for it too PLUS, assuming the father decides to skip town, she'll be the only one taking care of it. You can't just get a woman knocked up and expect her to do all the work while you walk away without any consequence. Get a paternity test if you're unsure it's yours but if it is, that child is just as much a product of your irresponsibility as it is hers. If you somehow think she sabatoged whatever forms of birth control you were using, go ahead and take her to court for it. If she decides not to get an abortion though, that's her decision to make and it's her life and resources she'll be dedicating to raising that child. If you didn't want to pay child support, you should have been more careful with where you were shooting.

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    • why can't you just get a women pregnant and leave. women are allowed abortion its just giving men the same right. l

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    • Fuck you you're the one with double standards and groundless arguments. Let's just both agree to fuck off though.

    • how do i have double standards when im treating men and women equally?

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think @gray_sailor said it very well.
    This whole talk about "slave labor" is ridiculous and rather cynical. I don't think you'd use that phrase had you ever actually been forced to perform slave labor.
    If you have sex with a woman, you automatically take the risk of making her pregnant. ESPECIALLY if you have unprotected sex. Since you're supposed to be a mature person over the age of 18, the government can expect you to live your life in a more or less responsible way and to at least have some basic understanding of what consequences your actions can cause. If you're not capable of using a condom although you don't want the woman to get pregnant, just don't have sex then. It's really not that freaking hard but apparently, some people just can't get their head around using a little rubber thingy. If you complain about having to pay child support afterwards, I'm sorry but that makes you a hypocrite. That's like somebody getting drunk, getting into a fight, injuring somebody and later on being all whiny about having to go to prison. If you know alcohol might make you aggressive, just don't drink. Simple as that.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Depends on the reasons. If you have a legit reason such as not having the financial resources to help raise the child or are underage or really can't take care of a baby then I do believe the father's situation should be taken into context.

    If however it was cause you messed up and didn't take protection and sex seriously then I don't see why you should opt out. It's still your child and what kind of father abandons his offspring anyway.

    There are 2 sides though and it's not a black/white issue. Ultimately it should be about what is best for the child.

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  • I think so, sure. However, just like with abortions, he has to decide what he wants to do in a set time period. If he changes his mind later on, then he's stuck with it.

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    • i agree i think it should be 20 weeks after he finds out about the pregnancy or child.

  • That's not a problem that exists. No man in forced to pay child support. There are plenty of single mothers whose boyfriend ran away when he found out that the girl was pregnant, and no paying any support. All men being enslaved by child support is a MRA nonsense.

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  • Slave labour LMAO. always the same guy asking these questions. Someone must have done you in good to have such a shitty outlook on life.

    No. Men have to pay regardless of if he wants the child or not. It's the Law and it's the way it is. And highly doubtful it will ever change. Go and get a vasectomy if you do not want children.

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  • They would have to give up all rights to the child and stay out of the child's life completely. If at any point the father would like to enter back in the child life he would need the mothers permission and back pay child support (to a maximum of two years). Seems a bit harsh but I don't believe the father can come and go out of the child's life. It is the best solution I could think of because like abortion and adoption. Walking away from the child is a big desicion

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  • I'm not really sure, so in this instance I will agree with the current legal structure.

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  • Why did you have sex with her? If your not willing to be a dad and take the risks of sex then you probably shouldn't be having sex.

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    • well abortion is legal this is just about granting men the same rights to body autonomy. i would agree with you 100% if abortion was illegal.

    • I get it you're problem is why do you have to pay child support and all that when she's the one deciding to have the baby and abortion is the alternative right? Well what I'm getting at is that she probably doesn't want to get an abortion which is fine I don't really believe in abortion either but you should've thought about all this before you had sex with her. Think before you do if you werent planning to stay with her you should've been more careful or just NOT HAVE SEX :)

  • It takes two hands to clap.

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  • I don't think so. Even if the pregnancy was unwanted the guy helped make it. Unless the baby goes for adoption he should still have to pay if the baby is his.

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    • so should abortion be illegal?

    • I feel like although yes, the mother can decide what she wants to do with the baby, there are plenty of other options. Especially with gay marriage becoming a more accepted thing why not let them adopt your child instead of killing it?

What Guys Said 11

  • Your autonomy was exercised when you chose to have unprotected sex.

    Talking about slavery is bullshit.

    Alternative scenario that gives context:

    Suppose you decided to donate sperm to a sperm bank. Then suppose that an unscrupulous staff member gave the personal info associated with your donation to a woman who got inseminated by that donation.

    Now suppose she gets pregnant and demands a paternity test and child support from you.

    This would be wrong. It would be wrong because it denied you your agency. You did not chose her as a sexual partner.

    When you choose to have sex, you are choosing a mother for your child. That is a biological truth. If you bring children into the world, you are responsible for them. This is a social truth.

    I don't see anything to get confused about.

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    • Quite disrespectful and myopic to bring slavery into this discussion, no?

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    • "Welp, I just did this baby making thing with this woman and... woops! Now there's this baby! Who knew? Woe is me!"

      Not a credible argument.

    • no the argument is women get a post conception option so men should as well. both parties should get an opt out. thats the argument legal equality

  • No, I don't think he should be allowed to opt out. If you're going to have sex with someone, you always run the risk of pregnancy, and it should be discussed beforehand what you would want if a pregnancy did occur. If she says she'd keep the baby and you aren't willing to stick around for that, then don't have sex. Likeise, if she says she'd abort the baby and you aren't oKay with that, don't have sex. A baby is made by two people, and both of them should have to support it unless they want to put it up for adoption.

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    • so are you against abortion or do you have a double standard in sex?

    • In that case is understandable, but if they haven't had that talk before, then if he doesn't want the baby he should be able to opt out, just like she's able to abort.
      BUT, if the pregnancy was caused by having sex without bc (therefore it wasn't a failure of the pills or condom), he should have to pay child support.

  • He should be able to opt out, but the decision should be done several months before the child is born. If the child is born and he said he was gonna pay child support, he can't back off.

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  • Not if he's the father. If the mother will be a mother, then the father will have to be a father. Both of them have to be responsible for the consequences of reckless sex.

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  • No, they are responsible for the care of the child.

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  • Yes they should but as a side not they father then signs a legal document saying he has no say over choices repsonsibilities or actions done within the childs name.

    Pretty mught relinquish both responsibility and legal right to the child.

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    • what exactly are you saying? could you elaborate?

    • Well generally speaking of course it could be the womans word against a man if she took it to court saying that it was a planned thing and you origionally both planned to have a child but something like you broke up happened for example then she would get legal sanctions for child support via the legal system form the man but if the man is also turning around saying he is tricked and did not plann to have the child with her is one voice agaisnt another and they would both have to prove their case via the legal system.

      But of course it is meerley a hypithetical with this idea no more no less :)

  • Men have the option of opting out. It's called not having sex.

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  • Yes I think the man should be allowed to opt out of child support if he doesn't want the child and the woman does. Also I think the woman should pay the man compensation if she chooses to have an abortion and he wants to raise the child.

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  • No. Men do have body autonomy. They have the right to not engage in sex with a female. They have the right to use birth control if they do engage in sex with a female. They have the right to not engage in sex with any female who they do not trust 100% if she says that she is using birth control.

    Does a baby have a right to receive support from both parents even if the father wanted the mother to have an abortion?

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    • so you certainly thing abortion should be illegal then for the same exact reasons right

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    • I know all about it. It doesn't matter though this is about body autonomy

    • Your question update mentioned child support as an issue.

  • Yes, of course they should be able to opt out. Women can. Why should men have the same right?

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  • Lol, this is like the third pro life/choice question I've seen today.

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