How would you feel if your boss would send you abroad?

Pretty much for a last month I've been working abroad; my boss sent me to oversee his new office in another country. Business-wise things are going good, but I never really wanted to be abroad: I was just told "you're quite good, I trust you and I want you to supervise my new office".

On one hand it's good that he trusts me enough to do that (and I'm actually quite good as an admininstrator, believe it or not), but on the other hand I'm severly pissed that I'm away from my friends, family & motherland.
Worst of all is that I started to use alcohol again that I stopped using years ago to let go all the stress, i. e. even now I'm having some whiskey to relax. Boss has no idea I tried to commit a suicide via huge consumption of alcohol during my depression 4 years ago (I was literally saved by a housemate that noticed I'm not responding at all (when I drank nearly 4L of whiskey in one evening) and called an ambulance on time).

Yes, I'm renting quite posh apartments, I do my job well and I get paid more than handsomely, but I detest being abroad. I have no clue for how long I must stay abroad.

In any case, what would you do if you would have to work abroad? How would you cope with being homesick?

Updates:
If anyone cares:
Had a chat with my boss; he's adamant that I should oversee at least early stages of his new office abroad. After that I can come back home, but yet again no set deadline.

On a bright side he decided to send a guy to help me and to keep me away from alcohol... aaaaaand increased my salary, even though I didn't even asked for it, since I believe I already earn more than enough.

Fuck me...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Did you actually tell your boss you didn't want to go abroad? I think it's a great opportunity to explore a new city and new lifestyle. I would love it if my boss sent me abroad.

    I hope I don't sound insensitive but regarding the alcohol thing, I think you need to have more self control. You've clearly managed to overcome the struggle of becoming depressed with the use of whiskey. Don't let 4 years of results go down the drain. Keep yourself occupied by doing things that don't involve alcohol. I'm sure there's plenty.

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What Girls Said 27

  • On my days off, I'd explore the city. Go to restaurants, museums, movie theater, or just go driving in the city at night with the windows down.

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  • I am abroad and I feel more at home than I ever did on Lithuania.

    Lithuanians are exceptionally butthurt about anything Russian, they treat you like shit and talk down to you even when you're communicating fluently in their language.

    They have such a huge stick up their arses over the soviet union, they actually say nazis weren't that bad and happily let skinheads march down their streets shouting profanities and praising the holocaust.

    If I left UK for awhile, I'd probably feel the same way you do.

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    • how long have you been living in the uk?

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    • People's mentality doesn't change with location, but actions does depending on environment. :/

    • Shit, maybe back in old days when we bought those lands, we should've erased local population instead of making those lands flourish.
      In any case, from my point of view baltic countries should only exist under 1 condition: republics as subjects to Russian Federation.

      Oh, and yes, my boss temporarily relocated me to one of those countries to oversee a new office; I'm hiring only Russians to our office, obviously.

  • I love to travel, and I would jump at any chance to get out of the cold, honestly.

    I have dealt with homesickness, and it isn't easy. The best thing to do is to keep busy: join clubs or find the ex-patriate community. They always have something going on.

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  • I would decline the position if I was asked. No matter how much money you make, it will never be worth leaving everyone you care about behind and losing yourself into an addiction that you came out of.

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  • It's hard being alone with no social life and no friends nearby, but I have done it, and it didn't kill me. The best thing to do is look at your local calendar of events to see what is happening. Check out dinner clubs. They are great places to network and meet people, and the tables are usually set up soiree style, so you can interact with others. Make an effort to do things that don't ordinarily interest you. It might surprise you to find that you actually DO enjoy them. Or take a class... cooking, dancing, art, or something else. It seems that being around people will help you. You don't mention what country you are in, or where you are from, so I struggle with what else to suggest to you. If the culture is very unlike where you are from, I could see how it could be intimidating.

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  • I have been living abroad, being a foreigner in other people's countries for my entire adult life. Since i was 18. it indeed can be really hard, especially during the holidays when everyone else is with their families. Find a community that consists of people from your country, chances are many of them are also alone there as well. You can then spend the holidays going stuff with them, it will distract you from the homesick feeling a bit. But tell them about your alcohol problems though, otherwise they might ask you to get drunk with them. Stay strong, chat and Skype with home often. And explore your new country and try to make the best of it. So it would help you to not just focus on what you have left behind, but also at the tons of possibilities. Get to know the new culture, find a nice girl, eat all the exotic food, explore all the weirdness of that culture. It would enrich you so much.

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  • Surely is you don't like it and since you have a good relationship with your boss, you should try and talk it through with him. I don't think you should be putting yourself through that because it's definitely not worth how you're feeling. I think that this issue should be addressed. At the end of the day, you should be happy and looking at your scenario now, you're not. It's not always about the money because there is a lot more to life than that for example you miss your friends and family. Look, everyone's human and i think if you talk to him, you can work something out. I don't think he wants to lose an employer like you so he might make a deal.

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  • I really want to go abroad so I would jump at the chance, God willing. I also understand the idea of being homesick. I just moved across the country (3000 miles or so) and in a sense I guess that's similar.

    Take care of yourself - I'm so sorry to hear that!

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  • It depends on the country but I'd love it. You're missing a great opportunity to have new experiences because of your negative attitude about it. You act as if you had no choice in the matter.

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  • I would love to work abroad. I've never had the opportunity though. Go exploring and find things that interest you that aren't based around drinking. Cultural things are good for that. It's not forever I'm guessing? So know that there is an end point to this and you can go home eventually.

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  • If i were you i would try to see positive things of it.
    You will go somewhere that noone knows SO you will be whever you want.
    Meet people. Go ; have fun. Start a new language. There is too much thing to explore in world. Really. :)

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  • It really depends where he would 'send' me to. If it was a place I had family and friends, then yeah. Otherwise, no.

    Seriously, if it's having such an effect on you you should reconsider doing this.

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  • I live abroad now, and I am single. It's difficult, do I just try to keep myself busy.

    I understand your task abroad is not permanent. Why are you tempted to use alcohol as a distraction from loneliness?

    Why don't you talk to your boss about the length of the task so that at least you can have a deadline? In the meantime, why don't you try to meet new people at work there?

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    • Yes, I have a tendency to seek relaxation in alcohol whenever I'm lonely and/or very tired.
      There's no set deadline. Basically it's "until it's done".

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    • Thanks.

    • You're welcome:)

  • You should tell your boss how you feel! Tell him you want to come home (if you do) and tell him about your drinking habits and that you need help.

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  • I think that is an awesome opportunity to explore countries but after a while I will miss my family and basically everything familiar to me. But if your boss wants to do this regularly consider getting a new position.

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  • I don't work now, but I'd love to be in another city. It's not that I hate Mexico, but I really really want to travel the world. I'm not too social at the moment so being alone in another city is not something that scares me, it excites me to be honest

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  • I read your profile, your Russian I'm Armenian. In a way we are culturally similar. I have to say that moving out of our culture is very difficult, although sometimes the key to progressing in life is to step out of your relm of comfort and reach towards success.

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  • I would feel exactly how you feel. I wouldn't like it at all.

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  • i would try and find other people who share similar values and interest as you while maintaining regular contact with people back home

    otherwise, you should reconsider the situation and see if there is something similar that doesn't require relocating

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  • I'd love to... anything to get me out of my country..

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  • I would quit because I can just find another job elsewhere. The business chain is in high demand here anyway.

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  • I think it's a great chance depending on what country of course, moving away helped me move on from the tough parts that I had in my life bit of course everyone is different so if there is a chance for you to be happy abroad give it a chance if not just move back, best of luck

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  • I would feel great! But I see you have issues there. Not easy to disconnect from your beloved ones, I believe that. You gotta open up friendships wherever you go, I think., But i believe @thomasjjeffy been in the same boat as you but for even more time!

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    • yea lol, pertty much as she said. I've been abroad for the 4th year now (Finland and Netherlands). You gotta open up connections. It's hard i know

  • Depending on the country and the pay I would. Which country is the new office?

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  • Just enjoy it. I can't see anything wrong with being away from home.

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  • Just fine... don't have a husband or children so I am footloose and fancy free.

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  • I was sent abroad to work 8 months ago. It's okay. It's just a lot to get used to.

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What Guys Said 29

  • My guess is you are lonesome and depressed and you are self-medicating with something you know is poison and potentially fatal for you.
    Tell your boss you don't mind occasional overseas assignments but you need to be based near home. Tell him exactly why. Your life depends on it.

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  • I would love it! I love to travel and enjoy time outside the US. I would see it as a great opportunity to mix it up and see new things, and a month is not too long if I were dating people or missing someone.

    That being said, I also have none of the risks you mentioned, which I can understand coming on if you felt pressured and stressed about being abroad.

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    • I just moved home after a year abroad and I am missing my traveling life so much though. I guess I differ some from many of the other posters here... I loved having nothing and no one familiar around me and always doing new things and meeting new people.

  • Maybe you should talk to your boss and find out exactly if there are any opportunities that will open up soon to move back home. Remember, you need to be careful as you could find yourself out of a job. I work 3rd shift and I have for a while. I have told my boss that I would like a day shift position, and I'm still on 3rd shift. I'm looking outside of the organization in case they don't find me something soon. Sometimes, you may need to get a new job if nothing works out with your current employer. But like I said, be careful. Don't lie, but don't exactly tell him that you are looking for a new job elsewhere until you actually get officially hired. But first ask him if there are any opportunities coming up for you to move back home. Or if you are successful enough, maybe fly some friends or relatives in to hang out with you from time to time.

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  • Honestly.. It's kind of my dream to find a job that allows me to travel. Traveling is my #1 passion just ahead of computers, video games and comic books. Usually when I'm away I kind of forget about home too which probably isn't healthy.

    Anyway if you don't like it I'd suggest telling your boss that. Tell him you appreciate the offer but would rather be somewhere close to home. That does not sound like healthy behavior man and you shouldn't stay on a path of self destruction.

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  • First, congratulations on being so trustworthy and effective that your boss would send you abroad. I am not a traveller, but my understanding is that most countries have an ex-pat community. You might consider connecting with them, so you have someone to speak your native language with etc.

    Good luck!

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  • To be honest, my dream is to move abroad. I'm practicing my foreign language skills and would be extremely happy to take a position overseas. I can see how leaving all your friends behind can be a bit of a challenge though. I guess it depends on your personality, I'm really independent and I have moved to many cities by now (even though I'm just 21) and I've never really had trouble leaving friends behind or making new ones. I admit it's hard sometimes though and if it doesn't work for your personality, it might not be worth it. If I were to give some advice though, if I were you I'd see the experience as a challenge and a unique opportunity to develop myself. A lot of people do exchanges or overseas work for that reason. Anyway, I hope this helps!

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  • Personally I'd love to go abroad to work it would be a great experience to live on my own, see the new country and learn a new language.

    I guess you should talk to your boss and tell him that you would prefer to be back in Russia. Depending on how open minded he is, you should consider telling him about your depression.

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  • Man, I hope you're okay. It sounds like you're really unhappy with this arrangement. Maybe you can voice this to your boss?

    Personally, I also don't want to travel for work. I just wanna travel for fun. :)

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  • I used to sometimes travel abroad for work - I loved it. The longest trip was 4.5 months, and every weekend was like going on vacation. I saved a ton of money because my lodging and travel were paid and I had a daily expense allowance so my pay went in the bank. I got to see a lot of places I probably never would have otherwise, meet a lot of new people, check out the clubs and the girls. I miss it as my current job is sitting in a boring cube all day.

    I kept in touch regularly with friends and family, probably as much as I do at home.

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  • Well since I don't really have that much close people at home discounting my family, working abroad would be a good experience for me. Plus I'm used to solitude anyway.

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  • I almost went to France for work, but my coworker went instead. I'm still a little bitter about it lol.

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  • If you don't like going abroad then you need to determine if this is something that is going to be expected of your position going forward. If so, then you need to decide whether this is something you can do or if you should be looking for a different position that doesn't have that requirement. There likely are ways that you can cope with it, but when you say you detest the situation I'm inclined to think that it may not be any more tolerable for you.

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  • I was offered it (with a raise) and I declined, to stay with my wife and son.

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  • I don't really have family that I spend time withb, and although it would be annoying I could do without my friends, so I'd be happy I get to travel and get payed for it

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  • i don't have a job but i personally would want to stay with my family. i would treat it as a holiday but i have to work kinda.

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  • It depends where and how long I'm staying. Shit, even relocating in the US would be a big deal too, also depending where and how long

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  • I would LOVE to go abroad for work and such.. India is such a bore to me now.. I would go to Japan, Australia or Sweden :D.

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  • i'd kinda expect it, i'm going into the navy...

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  • My boss used to send me abroad all the time. To every shit hole in the world apart from Germany and Cyprus. They were nice despite the Greek turkey divide and the nato green belt in the middle.

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  • i think it would be cool

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  • I'd feel better if they sent me a broad when they send me abroad.

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  • Depends what country definitely. I have no desire to be sent to places like Peru, Congo, Mexico, (no offense) but I do have a desire to travel in Europe and Asia.

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  • go exploring, see the good side of the place and think about it this way, this is only an obstacle in your path towards success.

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  • It depends on which broad he sent me. Like if it was Kate Upton? I'd be like "heeelll yeah..".

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  • Depends on the country. If it's anywhere in Scandinavia I'm going.

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  • Fade into the new society im facing.

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  • I want to work abroad on a job I want. Wish I knew how

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  • I'd feel pretty damn good if my boss sent me a broad

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    • I was just going to say, "Well, I'd take good care of her, I guess. I don't know if I could repay in kind."

  • I would love to do that.

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