If someone is threatening to commit suicide if their girlfriend leaves them, what is that girl supposed to do?

my friend's in a abusive relationship where he has so much control over her, and he threatened her of commiting suicide if she ever leaves him. He showed her that he will do it by showing the cuts he did on his arm. What is the right thing to do? I know she needs to leave him, but at the same time she feels like she has no choice because if she does, she'll feel like it's her fault that he commited suicide.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave, its not your problem if he commits suicide. She shouldn't have gotten into the relationship in the first place if the guy is this crazy. I am telling you right now you can easily tell guys that are crazy in about 80% of cases, I'm assuming your friend saw the signs and refused to believe them because she was so "in love" with this guy when they started dating. If he is causing her to go crazy by his craziness then she should just leave, its better for one guy to hurt himself then for both of them to be hurting themselves. If you really feel he is going to go crazy after she breaks up with him call the cops, or notify someone close to him so they can get him some help. Most of the time though this is just a scare tactic some really desperate guys employ to keep girls under control, I've heard half a dozen guys threaten things like this, chances are he won't kill himself, simple as that.

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    • The thing is she's a really close friend of mine and I can't just leave her, espacially right now. Yea I just researched and realized they use that as scare tactic. I'll make sure to let her know. I'm going to convince her to call the cops. She didn't tell me at first that he was abusive, but I knew he wasn't a good guy simply because of how he insulted her and treated her. I think she really believed he loved her at the beginning, or wanted to believe that. I don't think she loves him anymore. I think she's afraid of him, and I think because of the amount of control he has over her, she feels like she needs him because she doesn't believe she has control over her life anymore.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He is most likely saying that to keep having control over her. She needs to leave him, let his family know, call the appropriate emergency services and tell them that "I am leaving him because he's threatened suicide."

    And lastly his suicidal thoughts are not about your friend. He had his own demons to deal with life which caused him to say such things.

    m.wikihow.com/Break-Up-With-Someone-Who-Is-Threatening-Suicide

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    • but he cut his arms. Does that mean he's serious?

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    • This a tough situation for your friend. I would suggest to call the police if she can.

    • yea, I'm definitly going to convince her to do it. I wish she could take control over her life and leave him out of her life. But I've never been in her shoes so I don't understand how difficult this is on her

What Guys Said 9

  • This is emotional blackmail, and so one must never negotiate with a blackmailer. Hence that woman should immediately take the help of the law and free herself from the relationship.

    Simple logic!!.

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    • I know it's easier said than done, but in my view that's what a woman should be doing (logically)

  • I'd try a suicide hotline, or call a hosptial, they have a procedure in place for this.

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  • You can never be responsible for someone else's actions. leave, call the authorities and tell them he threatened suicide. Let them deal with it, keep your back turned and continue on with your life. If he chooses to be stupid that's his choice.

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  • It's not her fault he's unstable.

    Tell his loved ones how he is. They would have more sway in persuading him to leave her and himself alone. Or to ag least calm down.

    She doesn't have to be with him if she doesn't want to and he doesn't need her to live. Sounds like he needs help.

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  • She should leave him. If he commits suicide, that's his problem, not hers.

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  • Unhealthy relationship, you need to have the girl contact his parents and then break it off.

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    • I'll suggest that, except his dad also tried commiting suicide and is abusive, and his mom doesn't live with them. So I'm not sure if it'll make things better

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    • He was already in jail for abusing her and he just got out. She felt really guilty for him being in jail since he was in the higher jails because of his previous charges and there were gangs there. Ill try to convince her to call the cops again since a few days ago he hurt her again, but i dont think she will since shell feel guilty all over again.

    • This story keeps getting worse.

  • First contact someone she knows, second she needs to leave, point out to her that its far more likely to be her that goes to the morgue than him.
    This guy is not worth dying for.

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    • I told her that by being with him, it's just making the whole situation worse since he's already in a shell and he's bringing her in that shell as well. I told her that it's not healthy and she needs to take control over her life. I've tried to tell her in all kinds of ways why she should leave but still she goes back to him. I think it's because of the amount of abuse she went through by him or the amount of control he has over her. I think he's taken her confidence aways just how he doesn't have his confidence as well. I feel really sad though and she just deactivated her account on facebook. I don't know if it's something to get worried about..

    • Yes, it is something you need to worry about.
      I wish I could tell you there is any easy solution but if she can't see the problem now, she might not till it gets really bad.
      Abusive relationships are like that.

  • She needs to run, really really fast and far. Also, call 911 when she does: if they know he's a suicide threat, they can track him down and get him help.

    Also, she needs to spend as much time with a support circle besides him as possible.

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  • Call his parents. He is manipulating you still. After that leave him alone for good and change your number and be careful please.

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    • the thing is it's my friend who's going through this :( If I was her, I would definitly call the police, but she won't do it. He already went to jail for abusing her (in public), and I think she feels like if he goes to change, nothing's going to change cos he's going to come back

    • She needs to make that permanent choice but it looks like she will keep going back and back and back. You can try to help but she needs to learn on her own apparently and I hope she does not pay with her life. Tell her to call his parents or maybe you can secretly.

What Girls Said 9

  • Call his bluff and just because he cuts his self doesn't mean he will kill his self. Or at least if he does he's clearly not successful at it.

    She should leave and call someone whether it's his family, 911, get him into a mental institute or something because he clearly needs help. Maybe she should make the call before she goes just to make sure.

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  • Have her contact his parents, that isn't normal and he needs serious help. It is not okay to play that card.

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    • the thing is that he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents. His dad is exactly like him and he barely sees his mom since she's divorced.

    • I would say have her break up with him and call the police after to warn them about the potential suicide because of the situation. She shouldn't have to stay with a psycho manipulator.

  • Unfortunately, people who stay in abusive relationships often don't see that there is a way out. The best thing you can do is to not alienate her. Let her know that you are always there for her, and that she has options which you will help her navigate her way through when she is ready. Keep in close contact with her, but don't bring up her domestic situation every time you see her. She needs your love and support more than anything else right now.

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    • yea, I think before I would bring it up, but now I kind of wait for her to bring it up because I realized it's not easy for her

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    • thanks :) I just hope she knows that people love and care for her. I think no matter how much I try to be there for her, she's still afraid of opening up and taking a step forward in her life

    • He manipulates her into feeling that way. Hopefully she eventually will realize that threats never equal love.

  • You are suppose to call a doctor.

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  • She needs to contact authorities and have him admitted, then leave.

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  • She just needs to go i know if he does commit suicide she'll feel bad but if she loves her self and him she has to let him go she should tell her parents even if she doesn't want to call the police press charges (if she wants) restraining order suggest he gets evaluated its easy only thing that makes it hard is people once is done hopefully she'll feel much better the longer she waits you never know he might be hurt to death

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    • Beat her to death**

    • Since he has familiy problems maybe the court could had him contact an aunt find his mom or a group home she shouldn't suffer

  • Leave them and alert the authorities. They're most likely lying though and using that to make the person stay in the relationship.

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  • tell the authorities. then leave him and do not look back EVER

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  • You call the police or non-emergency line. get him to a hospital for some evaluation or before he can do something to himself.

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    • the thing is that it's my friend who's going through this. I feel like if I do this for her, she'll never forgive me and maybe I'll make things worse.

    • tell her to do it.
      or have her talk to the guy's parents.

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