I've been finding this to be especially difficult lately.. I notice some people can be social with everyone regardless of what their likes and dislikes are. With me I find that kind of friendship or connection to be cheap and hollow. You aren't really connecting in that case it's just a temporary thing.
Do most people realize that and pursue it anyway? Why would so much effort be put into something that's temporary? I'm one of those people that prefers close bonds with a few people over a larger group of friends I think.. I still think it's important to form connections though.
Most Helpful Girl
I do it by being funny. It's how I cope with stress, awkward situations, nervousness, etc. If people don't get my brand of humor I shrug it off and continue to be myself. People may not always like it, but my lack of being bothered by their disapproval seems to intimidate people so no one says anything.2
Most Helpful Guy
What's the context exactly? It's not so fun in a working context, where some extroverts can almost have an 'entertain me' mentality. Honestly, I remember one guy, and if one thinks of it rationally, he was being perfectly kind and considerate, but he kept saying, 'you're quiet', and after a while, I took it to be almost accusatory, and was on the verge of snapping. I really have no inclination to talk for 8 hours a day. Office environments are horrendously oppressive.
Overall it's a fine line. On one hand, you want to be open and warm, on the other, your body is really not feeling it, and you don't have the inclination to open up to the person at that moment. I don't want to be fake.
I'm an INFJ, and my own experience has been that ESTJs, the archetypal opposite, try as you might, perceive the world differently to the extent that it's nigh on impossible to find any beyond surface commonality. INFJ jokes will fall on death ears to them :)1