How do you spend time with people you have nothing in common with?

I've been finding this to be especially difficult lately.. I notice some people can be social with everyone regardless of what their likes and dislikes are. With me I find that kind of friendship or connection to be cheap and hollow. You aren't really connecting in that case it's just a temporary thing.

Do most people realize that and pursue it anyway? Why would so much effort be put into something that's temporary? I'm one of those people that prefers close bonds with a few people over a larger group of friends I think.. I still think it's important to form connections though.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I do it by being funny. It's how I cope with stress, awkward situations, nervousness, etc. If people don't get my brand of humor I shrug it off and continue to be myself. People may not always like it, but my lack of being bothered by their disapproval seems to intimidate people so no one says anything.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What's the context exactly? It's not so fun in a working context, where some extroverts can almost have an 'entertain me' mentality. Honestly, I remember one guy, and if one thinks of it rationally, he was being perfectly kind and considerate, but he kept saying, 'you're quiet', and after a while, I took it to be almost accusatory, and was on the verge of snapping. I really have no inclination to talk for 8 hours a day. Office environments are horrendously oppressive.

    Overall it's a fine line. On one hand, you want to be open and warm, on the other, your body is really not feeling it, and you don't have the inclination to open up to the person at that moment. I don't want to be fake.

    I'm an INFJ, and my own experience has been that ESTJs, the archetypal opposite, try as you might, perceive the world differently to the extent that it's nigh on impossible to find any beyond surface commonality. INFJ jokes will fall on death ears to them :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • i just wouldn't try to be honest! I hate when people do that shit of pretending to have evrything in common with me!

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  • "How do you spend time with people you have nothing in common with?" I just don't lol

    I just see no point. I know I'm not going to have a connection with half of the people in the world, and I'm not going to try and establish one either. I rather consume my energy to those who deserve it. It doesn't mean that I can't be polite to them (I am) but after the conversation, well that's it from me

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  • I thought my housemates and I would have absolutely nothing in common but we've found stuff along the way. Some of us shared birthday, favorite movies, books, humor, tv shows, values, etc. If we don't have a lot in common I look to see if I can at least have a good time in their presence and respect them for who they are, what they like, and what they stand for. If I can't do any of that then we probably just aren't meant to be friends.

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  • I don't. I avoid them so I don't cause them to just end up sitting there in awkward silence.

    Though when I first meet people I name every random subject I know. To try and see if we might have anything in common. If everything I name fails then I just walk away.

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  • nope i simply don't

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  • we dine out and talk about our hobbies

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What Guys Said 6

  • Keep your core group of friends and be insincere with those on the periphery to keep the numbers of associates up because it's the interests of social status. That's my motto. lmfao

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  • Why do you have any desires to spend time with people you don't have things in common with? If you're with a group of friends there's someone you have something in common with or you're not there in the first place. Obviously nobody has something in common with everyone in a group of friends, those are the people you talk less to.

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  • I find this very difficult, too. I guess that's why I often avoid social situations, because I feel like an oddball and it will be so hard to find anyone I can relate to.

    I prefer to have a small number of good friends that I spend a lot of face time with. That's another reason I'm not on Facebook.

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  • I ask them questions to learn more about them and I try to be funny.

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  • Everyone loves to laugh.
    That's why I will always have something in common with everyone I meet.

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  • You both poop, there's one thing you have in common.

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