Depression, how to kick the black dog?

Do any of you suffer with depression? Is it debilitating to your life? Do you have any tips for trying to overcome the black dog on the daily? Any experiences would be great to hear.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Take it from someone who's dealt with depression for all of his laugh and actually almost died from it; it never really goes away to be honest. It's the future that actually has me keep going; if I was gone a lot of people's lives would have been different. We all make a huge difference in this world yourself included

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    • For what it's worth, you made a friend in me

    • Thank you for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • Still suffering from it. I think therapy is the answer. And lots of positive reinforcement. And people who love you, and are there for you. In my case, when it was really bad, my boyfriend left me because he said I was hard to be with. Those were the darkest times. I was irritable and sometimes yelled at him (not without reason) and that seemed reason enough for him to dump his depressed girlfriend. So make sure you surround yourself with people who truly care. Otherwise it's just gonna hurt more... sorry you're going through this and good luck!

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    • Thank you for your story. I unfortunately don't have anyone who cares in my life. I'm getting therapy - well CBT for my anxiety and I'm on a very high dosage of antidepressants but I don't have anything to live for anymore, if I weren't here nobody would notice.

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    • Find yourself someone or something to look after, like mentoring a kid or getting a cat. Seriously.

    • @lanternhill I have three dogs who mean the world to me but they're not the same as having a human friend.

What Guys Said 11

  • I had a bad depression from 16 to 18.. it was completely gone when I turned 19.

    How I got it :

    My grades suddenly dropped in 11th grade, people I thought were my friends dropped me, I felt so isolated despite being 1 of 140 students in my year, I felt unfairly treated by teachers of subjects I used to be good at before. I used to define my value as a person based on grades... I never got much appreciation from my direct family, but from teachers at school..

    A heartache made it all even worse, I thought she was not being honest with me, but she was ! I had had low self-esteem due to my formerly negative body image and I thought she can't be serious. She ended up with another guy I couldn't stand.

    What happened afterwards : When I was 16, my cousin noticed how miserable I was and she pushed me to seek therapeutical help. My therapist conducted a comprising anamnesis with me and afterwards she had me take another IQ test. (After a few sessions of talk therapy) Turned out my general IQ was in the 99.5th percentile. I felt so alienated from almost everyone at school, I had actually anticipated to get to know many new people, but they wouldn't even talk to me and spread malevolent rumors instead. I was also bullied from 7th to8th grade, but I beat up my bullies real bad when it got too much. They attacked me first, both boys ended up in hospital. I got in trouble though for defending myself...

    One night when I was 17, I still remember that night, I almost really killed myself. I had thoughts like : If more than 100 people hate me so much, everyone else in my future is going to hate me too. My grades suck, I will never get into college, I will get no job, I will be at the bottom... So I pondered for hours whether to do it or not..

    My therapist gave me books to read and I found myself in this book. She also taught me how to deal with this condition. Reading these books explained everything.

    In my summer break in 2014 I travelled to California and people there reacted exclusively positively toward me and this experience confirmed I was not as sh*tty as I thought I was. The people at my school were just the worst of the worst.

    I am glad I did not refuse therapy.. Going there 5 times a week was worth it.

    I am glad to be where I am now.

    Hopefully, this is helpful to you

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    • Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you found an out and got better. I'm getting CBT for my anxiety but I cannot afford therapy. It's simply not in my budget as much as I wish I could get some. My CBT sessions are a half hour every three weeks so it's a long slog until I start to notice a difference from what I can get. School was horrendous for me too. It's shocking what people do to each other.

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    • It was mostly girls who beat me up. One guy who hit me was a boyfriend at the time. A 'friend' told a teacher about a group of girls who were tormenting me and they beat me up for being a snitch. They pulled a chunk of hair out of my head. It was the worst time of my life. I couldn't wait to leave, I really didn't want to go to school. And it just made my depression so much worse. I was drinking heavily at the age of 14 onwards. It made me take drugs, I wasn't sleeping for up to 4 days a week and then falling asleep in class. I failed most of my GCSE's because of it. It ruined my life really. It's really made me feel worthless and such a failure. My own family didn't help me either. My dad is pretty abusive, verbally and psychically violent, so home was no better.

      Thank you for even reading this. It's very difficult to talk about but I've never said these things out loud to anyone so it's good to get them out of me somehow.

    • *physically

  • I used to be borderline depressed (as in I did see a psychologist because my mother wanted to know if I was or not) and I ultimately got out of it by just trying to improve my life. I started exercising and improving my physique and I took up Muay Thai and decided what I wanted to do with my future in Uni. For awhile I simply just focused on those things. Work hard in school and improve myself. I tried not to think about anything else which was easy since I kept myself busy. Eventually I just started feeling less dull about the world.

    Find something purposeful to consume your time with. A hobby that helps you improve yourself or just anything that makes you feel like you have a purpose. Don't be afraid to talk to friends or family if applicable if you feel like talking to someone or there's a couple of nice people on here that are always happy to help. I think the main thing is that it just takes some time to get out of this rut feeling and you just need to keep your mind on something during that time.

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    • I'm glad you were able to work past it. I really struggle with hobbies or interests. Im not talented at anything and I struggle with exercise because I was hit by a car in 2008 and my body hasn't been the same since. There isn't a gym near me, I don't drive and something like running just ends up with me being in pain. I like to lift weights when I can though.

      Friends aren't the type to talk to - the few that I have and family are even worse. I don't have anyone to talk to about my feelings so that's why they bottle up and overspill a lot.

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    • "I'm not talented at anything" Right there. Stop being your own worst enemy.

    • @Heyyakk animal shelter was the right fit, it just took too much of an emotional toll on me. I volunteered at a homeless shelter. Again that got too much. I don't expect anyone to sympathise with me, please don't think I'm here to ask for everyone to tell me I'm wonderful - I'm not. I genuinely am interested in hearing other people's stories. My life isn't the same as yours and neither is anyone else's.

  • I am going through this now tbh. It happens typically when we live according to others, as if their happiness or norm is also ours. Of course we can't reach happiness when it's not for us, In my case, I'm educated and capable of taking many jobs around the world however I'm living according to my friends and family... saving lots of money in a good factory position in a city I hate for many years now... I hate my job, I don't get along with people I work with, they want me to invest in property since it's easy for me but I hate it, I want to be with like minded people. I just put my foot down and gonna take a job in Asia that I want. Your story and others might be drastically different, but the theme is the same. Live according to your wishes and the depression will go away. Just be brave.

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    • Thank you for your story. My wishes are terribly small and insignificant and I still can't fulfil them. I just don't want to be here anymore and I don't think anyone would notice if I weren't anyway.

    • I think that's why most of us come online in the first place :p We're connected still for the same reasons. And nothing is insignificant, especially if it matters to us. People always say my ideas are insignificant but it has such a huge effect. You can tell me your problems if you like. If you just keep believing that they're insignificant you will think of yourself this way and that's the definition of depression.

    • I've been depressed and insignificant for a long time so it's hard to get myself out of this rut. I'm trying to find something I'm passionate about but I'm so uninspired and lacking spirit. The internet is great to ask these things though, it casts a wide net. And thank you but I wouldn't want to bore you to death :P

  • I know it's not situational but for the winter months, on every sunny day you get a chance, look in the general direction of the Sun. (Not AT the Sun) let the sunlight be on your eyes for 10 minutes. Decreased sunlight adds to "winter blues."
    Also exercise regularly...(u probably do already.) Do listen to &/or play music more. A good healthy diet plays a big part in it too.

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    • It's rained for straight month here, so no sun to be seen :/ my blues aren't SAD. I've been treated for depression for 5 years but have had the illness a lot longer than that. I listen to music any chance I get, I work as a kitchen porter so I'm on my feet moving all day. I walk my dogs, so I do excersise. I don't sit around all the time. Thanks for your ideas though, they may be really useful to someone :)

  • I suffer from depression, I take a supplement called TMG, tri-methyl-glycine. it works wonders for me, it's being researched relieve symptoms of depression. you can get it from any health food store. you won't get addicted to it, as it natural.

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  • CBT is best. Best through a therapist.

    Real life has real constraints.

    You might want to consider the free CBT website moodgym. It's not as good as a good therapist, it beats having nothing.

    Ultimately a therapist is a coach, you're the one who has to put in the work.

    You don't -need- to feel this way. Fight through.

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    • I'm getting CBT in person though I only get to go once every three weeks. I will check that out though thank you. I've never had a support net. I know it's down to me but I think things like this are impossible without support from somewhere.

    • I forbid you to think that way! :D

      A support net is easier, but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE to do on your own.

      You can do this.

      Keep telling yourself you can do it.

      There's this little person in your head who follows you around all day. You can force that person to give you pep talks that you don't fully believe, or you can let them bully you. I suggest you make them give you the pep talks.

  • Have you tried writing? Not necessarily a journal, but any form of writing?

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    • I love to write but I find it difficult now I'm on strong meds. My mind gets very muddled and I'm usually very uninspired. Writing does help though when I am able.

    • Well that's good at least it does help. Plus I can feel you on the un inspired part.

    • It also brings out feelings of inadequacy, so I don't do it as much as I used to.

  • Do you really can enjoy. In my case, i like to read some so exciting novel.
    when i read this i can forget everything. of course i need some time to recover but. these things help me always.

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    • I like to read to escape, I use movies to escape to but when I finish them I come back to reality and it's usually worse when I've tried to ignore it for a while.

    • Yes problem is not solved although you escape the real life. But point is you should be positive if you can't solve the problem.
      And my behavior help make you positive.
      However you can solve the problem you have. You must try to solve the problem you have. first.

  • Yeah for a while i was stuck in a bad rut, at the time i got motivation from the "dont be a victim" thing, and realized i was sort of playing victim to myself, and decided to just start being productive and stop finding excuses, i understood nikes "just do it"

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    • I don't think I play the victim. I mean I go to work everyday, I try and get on as much as I can. I think it's easier for some people to kick than others but thank you for your opinion.

  • See the good things in everyday, don't get worked up by the little bad things that happen.

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    • I know you mean well by saying this but it's pretty much impossible to see the good. I have severe clinical depression, anxiety and insomnia. No sleep, stressed and being in the dark all the time makes it difficult to see the good when there isn't any in my life.

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    • I'm obviously not as strong of a person as you :)

    • Don't give up, you just need to find the way to get out of it.
      Finding it is one thing, from there the change begins. Just keep on fighting and make the best of every day

  • say in the morning this will be a good day as a start.

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    • I wish this worked :/

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    • I'm not sporty. I have a bad knee and a weak wrist from being hit by a car in '08 and it makes it difficult for me to do exercise outside of work. I'm a kitchen porter so I am on my feet running around all day, I'm not completely inactive but exercise wise I'm only into weight training. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself trying out for a team when I can't run very far or fast :/ but great idea, thank you for the advice :)

    • Try to find something possible for you.

      Icecream can help too lol

What Girls Said 4

  • I have depression.

    There's a simple solution to depression and suicide but, because of our mindset, we who suffer from depression get stuck in the loop hold and often, never get out of it.

    The way to get out of depression is to
    1. Get your head out of your ass.
    You spend too much time thinking about yourself.
    You bring yourself down. You're narcissistic but in the "I hate myself and everything about myself" kind of way. Sometimes we shove our heads into our ass so deep, that we forget how to have compassion for other people.

    2. Altruism. Instead of thinking about yourself, try doing things for other people. Join a group. Be it charity, volunteering, tutoring, counseling, anything that will give purpose to your day to day activities.

    3. Ask yourself: What hobbies do I have? What do I like to do for fun? What am I crafty in? What are my skills?
    If your answer is 0 or none, you need to invest in yourself a bit. Become an interesting person.
    The reason you may feel empty and unfulfilled is because you are a blank slate with nothing that defines you.

    4. Laugh. Try to find the humor in anything. Even if it's dark humor.
    It can be hard for people with depression to find anything funny or interesting.
    Try to dig yourself out.

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    • 5. Be less full of yourself.

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    • Did you seriously imply that all depressed people are full of themselves without ever talking to them? And even if they are, how likely do you think they would take your advice for insulting them out of no where like that? If anything you're the prick for assuming such things yourself, and think its just a matter of giving different solutions instead of actually listening to what they're going through.

    • @MrNameless, yes depression is a disease which stems from severe narcissism and self loathing.

  • Accomplishing small goals is a great way to help with depression. It can literally be as small as washing dishes. I've lived with depression for over 3 years. Its not easy sometimes, but as long as you force yourself to accomplish things and surround yourself with people who understand depression and are there for you if you need them, its manageable. Sometimes something as simple as taking a shower in a completely dark room makes me feel better. Honestly, its important to see a doctor at some point, but I haven't just yet, and I'm chugging along.

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    • I always shower in the dark, thought I was the only one. I don't turn the lights on because I don't want to see myself. I've seen a doctor. I'm taking 45mg of antidepressants a day - I've been medicated for 5 years but I've had the depression a lot longer. I go to work every day and I try and do things but I just can't stop feeling hollow and empty and like there's no point in me being here.

  • I call it the black fog, depending on the severity - and:

    Prayer

    Followed by:

    Sleep.
    Sunlight/generally getting outside.
    Exercise.
    Coffee or tea.
    Talking with friends.
    Just letting it be there and pushing ahead.
    Curling up in a ball and crying/writing things down/pushing the frustration out.
    Realizing that depression is often frustration + perceived helplessness. Trying to solve the issue often helps me.
    Chocolate in small amounts.

    Mine always has gone away, no matter how awful, thank God, and I keep that in mind - next time it will too, God willing.

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    • Thank you for sharing your tips. Sleep is near impossible for me as I am a depression sufferer who also has insomnia, so I never sleep, even when I want to.

      I'm glad you have your faith and support net to help you. I wish I had the same but thank you for the advice.

  • Have lots of kinky fun sex? :) or just flirt a whole lot.. that cheers me up!!

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    • I would if there were someone to have it with ;) it definitely helps when I get the chance but as I'm single, it's not happening right now. I flirt as much I can though, thanks for the tips!

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