Is it normal to hate your child? Do I need help?

It's been a week now since I've officially become a mother and i don't feel like it. Whenever i look at my baby i don't feel something although i was so excited to have her when i was pregnant. I just feel that I'm not interested in her or something. I feel that i'm scared of something. Even yesterday she was starfing and i pretended that i don't hear her crying till my boyfriend come home and he was really mad at me for doing this. I really don't want to treat her like this but i can't help it.

  • You do need help
    81% (25)65% (13)75% (38)Vote
  • You going to be ok
    10% (3)25% (5)16% (8)Vote
  • Other
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you have post partum. It's common but you should get help for it.

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    • Those people don't know shit. What you're experiencing is common but that doesn't make it okay. Therapists can help and eventually you'll get better and love your baby :)

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    • Thanks for MHO! :) I hope things get better for you

    • Thank you really :) you are amazing

What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, some people don't realize the amount of dedication that raising a kid would take, especially when they are not yet self-sustaining in the sense that if you leave them alone for long enough, they will just die on their own - and then they get scared of it even though it doesn't actually reduce the responsibility. Most parents just suck it up to do their best for their children, even if it is not easy.

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    • I know what you mean. Big shock when I had my daughter two months ago. But honestly, it is really hard work but it gets a lot easier once you get into routine and you learn her cries. She is either hungry, sleepy, sometimes fussy, in the need of a diaper change or wants to cuddle and feel warmth especially if she's only a week old.

  • it´s not normal to feel no love at all. yeah they get really annoying but the starving part is extreme... try to be a good mother anyway.

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    • Hi! Pleaseee inbox me hun! Maybe I can help if you have any questions at all

  • It's not uncommon. Get help. It's post partum. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or bad mother or a failure. It means your hormones are probably fluctuating like mad and its componded perhaps by lack of sleep.

    Your baby needs help. It's allowed to need help.

    So are you.

    Get some help. Things will get better.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Hi
    Usually baby blues last for two weeks. For me it did but thats the average it should. With me, I was constantly crying and getting frustrated. But I never looked at her the way you are describing. I thought taking care of her was really hard at first because I knew nothing but I learned and now she's two months. It's not so bad. It's that first month that is one of the hardest things ever. No sleep. Sometimes you can't eat. Crying. But if you feel that you want to harm her in anyway, please, speak up and ask for help! Don't think it will go away on its own. If she's a week old you shouldn't be leaving her to cry her lungs out. Carry her, cradle her and cuddle her. She will fall asleep. Make a routine. Shower her everyday starting at 6 weeks. But don't leave her like you said you did.

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  • "Even yesterday she was starfing and i pretended that i don't hear her crying till my boyfriend come home"

    This is a huge warning sign.
    Yes, it is normal to have post partum depression. But that is not okay to do, ever. If you are, essentially, abandoning your baby you really need to get help. You can get through it! As soon as you get over the depression you will be perfectly fine! But you really need to make sure that you don't accidentally harm your baby.

    You should see a specialist. You might need to get on medication.

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  • Yes it sounds like you've got depression it's nothing to be ashamed of antidepressants will help you. It's a natural thing most women go through after giving birth the change of hormones causes it. Go talk to your doctor.

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  • You do need help - it's called post-partum depression...
    You should seek counseling and help.

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  • sorry but that really uncommon... you need help

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    • It is extremely common! It's called post partum depression. Don't say things you know nothing about

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    • @Mekkalyn Can't help it, I have a baby she's two months and it gives me anxiety

    • @Apriscila She just needs to get some emotional help so it doesn't happen again.

  • Post Partum is common. No, its been a week so its obviously a stressful time. It may help just to mention something to your doctor and see what they have to say. He/she could give you more information about it and may give you some hormonal boosters later on.

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  • it's a type of depression that hits due to the sudden hormone changes after pregnancy. you should see your doctor about it, but it should pass.

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  • Yikes. Get some help. That's not normal ):

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  • That baby is gonna have a hard life.

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  • You shou get help, I'm guessing that you have postpartum depression. But don't worry there are many of other mothers who struggle with it as wel. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • If you're going to have a baby you better take care of it or Just don't fucking have one

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    • I wasn't like this when i was pregnant. Do you even understand what I'm talking about here? You have kids of your own?

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    • Says the 17 year old.. As if you know why it's like to be a mother.
      What I'm saying is making the child suffer Just because she doesn't "feel" like attending to it is wrong. @Zendrya

    • My age means nothing. For all you know I am a mother. It isn't a matter of simply not wanting to. It's a chemical imbalance in her brain due to fluctuation in hormones. I'm not supporting the starvation or neglecting in general of the child. What I'm saying is there is so much more to it then you apparently know which is really sad. And I'm not even telling you this to be a bitch but for your own sake since you are capable of becoming a mother, educate yourself because you come across as very ignorant on the subject.

  • Don't neglect your child. If you don't have what it takes to be a mother then you should give her up to someone who does.

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    • That's not an option

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    • Uh..

    • It's called adoption.

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