Which is easier, force attraction or to make yourself more attractve?

Which do you think is easier? Is it easier to force yourself to become attracted to someone you find physically unattractive, or is it easier to make yourself more physically attractive?

If it isn't obvious, I do of course mean this IN MOST CASES BUT NOT ALL.

I have my own answer to this, which I'll share later.

  • In most cases, it is easier to force yourself to become attracted to someone you find physically unattractive
    19% (19)29% (25)24% (44)Vote
  • In most cases, it is easier to make yourself physically more attractive
    81% (82)71% (60)76% (142)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Thank you all for your input. It's fascinating. Keep those votes and opinions coming!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's easier to make yourself attractive compared to forcing attraction. Making yourself attractive is a lot more sustainable than forcing your feelings. If you put effort into working out, buying nice clothes, making sure your skin is clear and BO is under control, your chances of finding someone who thinks you're attractive is a lot better. Forced feelings are not sustainable. Nobody can force themselves to feel a certain way. It would be fake, and eventually they would become bored of having to be fake. If feelings grow over time then that's great, but such feelings aren't even forced in the first place.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think its different based on gender. It also depends on how unattractive you are and how unattractive the person you're forcing yourself to be attractive to is.

    I think with women it might be easier since their sexual attraction is often more mental compared to a mans whose is mostly based on the physical. So I feel like a woman could become attracted to a guy over time whom she initially wasn't very attracted to just based on his looks.

    For men it might be easier to improve his attractiveness since men care more about personality in terms of compatibility but are less likely to become attracted to a physically unappealing girl no matter how great her personality is. Although it depends on how unattractive he is and what features are causing him to be unattractive. If he can improve his attractiveness by going to the gym, getting a new haircut and buying a new wardrobe then that's easier.

    However, if his problems are based on bone structure or personality traits that he's had for most of his life then he could be fucked. In this case both options are likely equally out of reach.

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What Girls Said 20

  • I've never been able to make myself attracted to someone

    Almost everyone who puts effort into their looks can be a 7 or 8 tho

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    • If somebody is attracted to you, what does it mean?

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    • 7 or 8? No way Jose. I met plenty of ugly people that were never getting higher than a 3 or 4 even with money and surgery.

    • @mikemx55 I would consider most people to not be ugly enough to counteract it.

  • I think it's easier to make myself more attractive. If I'm not attracted to you, then I'm just not. I don't think I could force myself to be.

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  • I don't think I can ever force myself to like someone.
    I have never dated a guy I wasn't at least minimally physically attracted to.

    I actually want to give it a shot because pretty boys cannot be trusted lol and I kinda don't want to date attractive guys anymore.

    I think it's easier to make yourself more attractive. Like most people could be at least a 5 or 6 with effort.

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    • I have dated someone I didn't find physically attractive. It was disastrous. I don't recommend it to anyone. Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

    • Who was it a disaster for? You or them?

    • I already voted lol

  • it's probably easier to make yourself more attractive. i don't know how one can force attraction lol.

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    • Thanks, Harakiri. Please don't forget to vote if you haven't already.

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    • @weyc0
      I have my reasons. ;)

      Weyc0, thanks for stopping by. It be great if you cast a vote.

    • Well it would be great if you could add "the Neither.." option.

  • We believe, even if we want to think the contrary, that people can change, that we can change them, but in reality we can't.

    But what we can do is to change ourselves if we want, not because for awards or because you want to hang out with someone, but we can change if we really want to, if we want to become better people.

    I am talking not only about the physical, I am talking also for the psychological and emotional part.

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  • I think it's easy to make yourself attractive you know physically and all but don't forget to match that with your personality. It's sexy when a guy or girl is hot as hell and has a good witty personality... Has manners and treats people well. If your good looking or make yourself hot and have a shit personality you won't get very far. Oh and brains, being sexy smart and good mannerism defines all.

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  • How are the two things related?

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    • I would think it would mean in a relationship where the people are close emotionally and compatible, but there's still the issue of one not being attracted to the other. In that case, if they wanted to work out that issue because they were so great together otherwise, would it be easier for the one not experiencing the attraction to try to force it or for the other to make them self more attractive?

  • I rather make myself attractive I just got to go shopping. I think under the t-shirt and the beer gut there something no ones discovered... I want to be the first!

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  • It's easier to get nicer clothes, a better attitude, a new haircut, treat bad skin, work out etc. But it's impossible to fall for someone you are just not into!

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  • I think that it is easier to make yourself attracted to someone less attractive (physically), because their personality can make up for a lot.

    Also, I think it is easier to change how you think yourself than to change how someone else thinks about you.

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  • I'd rather make myself look more attractive and it's also a bit easier. I couldn't make myself like someone I don't find attractive (talking about personality too here) and basically play the person.

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  • Easier to make myself physically attractive. I know what suits me what not. Forcing yourself to be attractive to someone else is like forcing someone to love you.

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  • Easiest is to accept that you will be forever alone

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    • Having known some people who are more than twice your age who are forever alone, I can say this probably isn't true, at least not for most people.

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    • I have to respectfully disagree with your statement, "Well if you are ugly. You are ugly"

      People can improve their appearance. Furthermore, it's not a happy thing, and therefore not an easy thing, to "just accept you'll be alone."

    • Hey I know. I was exaggerating. Truly I don't think anyone is ugly. But some people are unattractive. Usually their personality or attitude makes them more unattractive. So improve yourself all you want. If you are picky though, you might never meet the standards of those who you desire, and you'll be alone.

  • in my opinion, force attractions, namely one from a magnet is much more effortless than making a zero to hero.

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    • This is interesting, can you explain more?

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  • I already participated in this and I said make yourself more attractive I forgot about this option.

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  • I can not force myself to be attracted to anyone. It's either there through looks or personality or it isn't.

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  • Make yourself more attractive

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  • I am not sure how to make myself more physically attractive. So, I am just going to make myself healthier, and hopefully my health will show through my appearance.

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    • Physical beauty is often a sign of good health. That's why we've evolved to being attracted to it.

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  • Personally, I don't think that I would need to be "forced" to become attracted to someone.

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  • It's easier to work on your appearance. Things force usually don't end well. Changing your attitude to positive, having good hygiene, and keeping up with your health would be better.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Voted A, but it's totally my perspective.

    People can make themselves attractive only up to a certain point. Beyond that, they can't do much unless they choose something drastic, like plastic surgery.

    But being attracted to someone who is not physically attractive, is certainly possible, and happens too. For example, if someone just cannot get people to get attracted to them, no matter how much they try, they have to inevitable force themselves to be attracted to someone they don't find attractive, or risk remaining single forever.

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  • I voted for the second option. I do believe that as human beings we strive for becoming the best we can on a daily basis.
    Thus, we try new haircuts, new shaving styles and so on as for guys.
    Whereas for girls, they try new make up, and so on.

    As a conclusion, the more work you put on yourself the more you'll be able to attract others. We can clearly see when someone is doing an effort to improve physically, and obviously this is attractive in most cases. Hoping that it answers your question.

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  • A is psychologically difficult. Actually, the hardest thing about A is overcoming the superficialities and unrealistic standards that society has set you with, telling you that you need to work your way up to sleeping with / dating 9/10 and 10/10 models. When you are willing to accept yourself for who you are (and the league that you should be working in) and see the inner beauty of those around you you can appreciate their physicality for all it's flaws and imperfections: people that are not plastic, size-10 supermodels but they still have a good pair of love handles, or an interestingly shaped nose.

    B is physically difficult - working out and what not. But it can also be psychologically difficult, abstaining from sex and dating until you have improved your own model potential, perpetually self-aggrandising and telling yourself that you are not good enough. Being surrounded by lower league men or women that would be happy to sleep with you or date you but rejecting them because you have set yourself such harsh standards.

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    • I don't agree that it is society's standards telling us to desire someone beautiful. It's 2 million years of human evolution.

      Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

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    • I think perhaps you're right.

    • it's both evolution and society. and when society is not telling us what is beautiful, society is telling us to pursue only the best, most attractive men and women with the most reproductive fitness. to get there we must self-aggrandise both physically and psychologically - and that is tough. on the contrary, the people we fall in love with, we fall in love with everything about them on the inside and outside.

  • It's way easier to make yourself physically more attractive.

    For example, I used to look really silly because I used to wear all-grey clothing, had an unappealing green coat that I didn't really like, and when my hair gets too long I look terrible.

    So I can just buy a better coat, get a haircut, and buy jeans and non-grey clothing.

    Much easier than finding someone attractive whom you dislike or find repulsive, I mean, why would you want to do that?

    http://s24.postimg.org/6embazun9/girl_3.jpg

    (This is the first result on Google for "ugly girl" in case you're wondering)

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      And a green coat? That's... daring.

    • I did not like my green coat, which is why we got me a new, blue one

      The blue one is much cooler

  • Lol this is a foreign concept to me. I literally don't think I could ever "force" myself to find someone attractive that I truly don't find attractive. No way. And even if I could, that's unethical for her to waste time on that guy lol.

    I'm all about improving your attractiveness, inside and outside, and trajectory in life.

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  • If you want to force yourself to date someone that your not attracted to be prepared for a shitty relationship and some pissed of people.

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  • Forcing attraction is by saying things like "everyone is beautiful" and "plus is equals". #effyourbeautystandards was a petty attempt and still is to reshape what we find attractive. Only the chubby chasers will find overweight/obese women more attractive than a fit -actually curvy- woman. There's a reason why some brands do not cater to the plus-size market..

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    • There are plenty of other reasons why a person can be unattractive that have nothing to do with weight.

      Thanks for stopping by. Be sure and vote if you haven't already.

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    • @AverageJane
      I tend to agree that the face is probably the greatest determiner of physical attractiveness. However, how much body fat can have an impact on the overall shape and attractiveness of the face. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so. Thanks.

    • I have, sir! Thank you!

  • I would never force myself to be attracted to someone. That's pretty much just dishonest towards the other person.

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  • It's much easier to become more attractive. Lift weights, eat good food, get a decent haircut, learn how to dress better.

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  • Force myself, there's no way I can get more physically attractive.

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  • Its not not about whats easier its about which will make you truly happy. I almost guarantee the first option won't be making you happy anytime soon.

    Making yourself attractive isn't even that hard all you really have to do is get on the treadmill and get the weights out a few times a week. In combination with a good diet your well on the way to looking good.

    If you was rating looks on a scale I would fall around a 5/10. My girlfriend is a model and comes in at least at a 10/10 and she finds me extremely attractive. Why? because I workout 5 days a week and have blonde hair (she loves blondes).

    So really in my opinion the best option for anyone is to make themselves look good.

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    • I have never considered ourselves to be reliable judges of our own appearance.

      Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

  • Make yourself more attractive, which isn't always easy obviously, but I've tried forcing myself to be physically attracted to ones I didn't find physically attractive and it didn't work out. If a person isn't physically attractive from the start, you don't just wake up and go I'm gonna find that person physically attractive today. It just doesn't work that way.

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  • So I met a girl a couple months back. She started talking to me while we were out with mutual friends. I wouldn't normally go for someone like her (cultural differences) at that point I said that she's a little about average.
    However I continued talking to her, and suddenly became really attracted to her. Now, I'm not just attracted to her personality, but her looks also. To me, she's amazing all over.
    My point of this is; I got to know her personality, then when I knew I was attracted to her personality, I soon became attracted to her physical appearance.

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    • Becoming more attracted to someone who you feel initially is a little above average isn't forcing yourself to be attracted to her.

      Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

  • Chemistry in my opinion cannot be forced... definitely easier to overall better yourself!

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  • Appart from groming there isn't much you can improve on your physical aspect without going under the knife.

    So voted A even that option seems hard.

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    • There is more than just grooming and going under the knife.

      Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

  • Forcing attraction.

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    • Interesting. You seem to be in a minority. Has this worked for you?

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    • I'm clearly not telling you. You'll be fine. Good tidings.

    • Yes, I know I'll be fine. Thanks for stopping by.

  • In my case it's definitely possible to make myself attractive...
    But I am a bit lazy... :-D

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    • Lazy perhaps, but honest about it. Thanks for sounding off. Be sure to vote if you haven't already done so.

  • I voted find someone else attractive. After a fifth a whiskey, most people look good

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  • I fully agree with @prettybrown.

    Some of this is age (not that I'm trying to group her in with my age!). When you're in high school yes, genetics really dominate looks.

    By late 20s most people are fat and dressed like crap etc. Be in shape, decent hairstyle, decently dressed you're going to be above average, period.

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  • I am experiencing this right now actually. I am not attracted physically to this girl and would want to try to but just can't do it. I can lose 8 lbs and get a better haircut so I chose B.

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    • And yes I voted

    • Thanks. I tried myself to be attracted to someone I wasn't attracted to. It was a miserable waste of each other's time.

    • Yeah I can't do it at all. I tried one time but it lasted a day or two and this time nah I won't bother.

  • Sadly here's how it works.
    Women easily reach their max attractiveness by running, squatting, and dieting.
    Men need to lift weights for a few years.

    Men's looks are more changable in my opinion, women seem to just be stuck with what they get genetically.
    If a man lifts weights it's pretty much guaranteed to make him more attractive though. (no one gets as big as Arnie without roids)

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