I'm starting to fall for my best friend.. but I'm not bi?

I'm a freshman in college this year and I met this girl named Mo about 2 and a half months ago. I would always go to this study room where I could get my homework done and one day she came in and asked if she could do her homework with me. Of course, I said yes, and then we became friends straight away. Right away I could tell that she had an awesome personality and that we'd eventually be best friends. I absolutely adore her as a person and wish I was more like her in some ways. I love spending time with her, and whenever I'm not with her I miss her. I also know that I care about her more than I've ever cared about any of my other "girl" friends. I honestly do think I like her more than just a friend, but it's grossing me out because I personally don't want to be bi. I am very accepting of other people liking the same sex, I'm just not ok with myself being like that. So I don't know what to do. I love her and don't want to imagine my life without her in at as my best friend, but I also know that if I stay friends with her then my feelings might get stronger. In your opinion, what do you think I should do? Anything and everything helps! Thank you.

  • Stay friends with her, and ignore your feelings
    33% (1)20% (1)25% (2)Vote
  • Stop being friends with her until your feelings go away
    33% (1)20% (1)25% (2)Vote
  • Tell her how you actually feel and risk your friendship
    34% (1)60% (3)50% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Guys Said 1

  • An important question seems to be whether or not your friend is BI. If she isn't then a relationship is likely not going to occur, and telling her about your feelings could run the risk of damaging the friendship you do currently have and value. While it's possible she might reciprocate your feelings if you do tell her... telling her would be a risk.

    Even if she is bi, there's also your apparent aversion to the feelings. If you told her how you felt, even if she felt the same way, it doesn't sound like you necessarily want an actual relationship to occur. And creating a connection and then not being willing to act on it could also run the risk of causing a rift.

    It seems like the wisest course of action right now might be to wait. Your feelings may grow stronger, and perhaps it will make you less averse to the possibility of an actual relationship in the future. Or your feelings may change and friendship alone will be what matters to you. But risking what you have now, when your not certain you want something else or that she would also want it... seems like it might be an error. Also note, if you cease being friends with someone, there's no guarantee it can ever go back to the way it is now.

    It's also a little unclear from your post as to whether or not you actually feel attracted to her. You seem to suggest you love her, but love is not the same as lust, and you don't need to have a sexual relationship to have a close relationship. At the end of the day though, time solves most things. What time doesn't solve you'll have to solve yourself though.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I didn't vote and here's why, none of the choices are what I'd advise. Look, I'm bi. And I was exactly in your shoes. I became friends with her, I adored her, I fell for her, and I was disturbed by it at first... But here's the thing. Love is love... Ad you shouldn't walk away because you're afraid. I don't think you should fight it. Or avoid it... Or hate it. But I don't think you should jump in head first and admit it to her either. I think you should let it go. See what happens... And just be yourself. We are most ourselves when we aren't questioning every move we make and judging who we are. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but you might enjoy this side of you if you give it a chance.

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